New Here. Time To Stop.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 16
New Here. Time To Stop.
Hello,
I'm new here, and pretty nervous. I'm also sorry if this goes on too long. Also posted in the ladies section, but over on this one I will limit any talk about my health problems as I don't want to gross the guys out.
I'm 27. I live with my partner, our dog and three cats.
When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, in the last 7 years I've had 5 major operations, constant pain, horrible symptoms, and I've had to accept (try to accept) that I cannot have children.
Around the time of being diagnosed, I started to become depressed, and started to drink. I honestly don't know which came first. I always told myself I drank because I was depressed. The years following, I became the stereotypical "bottle of wine with dinner" person. I have social anxiety, so I do not enjoy nightclubs etc, always being much happier at home with a cat on my knee and a glass (bottle) of wine.
I am now at the point where there are often nights where a bottle isn't enough. This is usually if I'm alone, I will hunt around the house and literally drink anything my partner has in. These nights used to be very rare, now they are happening once a week.
I recently started my own charity, and have been putting my heart and soul into it. Last night we held our first fund raiser, and it was a disaster. Despite endless promotion, hardly anyone came. My reaction to things like this is obviously to drink. I was up until 5am drinking. Apparently at one point I attempted to come to bed and woke my partner up.
Today I am just filled with shame and embarrassment, and I feel so incredibly ill. I should have got so much work done today, but I have sat here like a zombie. At one point I packed a bag, and wanted to run away from it all, but I realised that will not help.
So today it stops. I have said this to myself many times, but never to anyone else. I have never wanted to acknowledge what a problem this has become.
I have booked an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I'm very reluctant to have this on my medical records, but I realise now that I cannot do it alone. I have been speaking to someone from AA on email, and I plan to attend a meeting as soon as I am brave enough. And now here I am.
I have also told my partner that after last night I realise that I have a problem, and I'm going to sort myself out. He drinks, probably more than he should. However he does not go "weird" like I do when drunk, doesn't suffer blackouts, and doesn't want to drink the house when something goes wrong. He doesn't believe I have a problem and thinks last night was a normal reaction to how the event had gone. His family are all "functioning alcoholics" he has grown up surrounded by booze so it's difficult to get him to realise what's normal and what isn't. He also probably doesn't want to drink alone... we had the same issue when I stopped eating meat!
So here it is, Day One. Is it still day one if I was drinking until 5am?! I hope so.
I really look forward to reading around the forums more and getting to know you xx
I'm new here, and pretty nervous. I'm also sorry if this goes on too long. Also posted in the ladies section, but over on this one I will limit any talk about my health problems as I don't want to gross the guys out.
I'm 27. I live with my partner, our dog and three cats.
When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, in the last 7 years I've had 5 major operations, constant pain, horrible symptoms, and I've had to accept (try to accept) that I cannot have children.
Around the time of being diagnosed, I started to become depressed, and started to drink. I honestly don't know which came first. I always told myself I drank because I was depressed. The years following, I became the stereotypical "bottle of wine with dinner" person. I have social anxiety, so I do not enjoy nightclubs etc, always being much happier at home with a cat on my knee and a glass (bottle) of wine.
I am now at the point where there are often nights where a bottle isn't enough. This is usually if I'm alone, I will hunt around the house and literally drink anything my partner has in. These nights used to be very rare, now they are happening once a week.
I recently started my own charity, and have been putting my heart and soul into it. Last night we held our first fund raiser, and it was a disaster. Despite endless promotion, hardly anyone came. My reaction to things like this is obviously to drink. I was up until 5am drinking. Apparently at one point I attempted to come to bed and woke my partner up.
Today I am just filled with shame and embarrassment, and I feel so incredibly ill. I should have got so much work done today, but I have sat here like a zombie. At one point I packed a bag, and wanted to run away from it all, but I realised that will not help.
So today it stops. I have said this to myself many times, but never to anyone else. I have never wanted to acknowledge what a problem this has become.
I have booked an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I'm very reluctant to have this on my medical records, but I realise now that I cannot do it alone. I have been speaking to someone from AA on email, and I plan to attend a meeting as soon as I am brave enough. And now here I am.
I have also told my partner that after last night I realise that I have a problem, and I'm going to sort myself out. He drinks, probably more than he should. However he does not go "weird" like I do when drunk, doesn't suffer blackouts, and doesn't want to drink the house when something goes wrong. He doesn't believe I have a problem and thinks last night was a normal reaction to how the event had gone. His family are all "functioning alcoholics" he has grown up surrounded by booze so it's difficult to get him to realise what's normal and what isn't. He also probably doesn't want to drink alone... we had the same issue when I stopped eating meat!
So here it is, Day One. Is it still day one if I was drinking until 5am?! I hope so.
I really look forward to reading around the forums more and getting to know you xx
Love your dog quotes, my dog is everything to me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Hollywood California
Posts: 43
Welcome
Originally Posted by IceyPops 
Hello,
I'm new here, and pretty nervous. I'm also sorry if this goes on too long. Also posted in the ladies section, but over on this one I will limit any talk about my health problems as I don't want to gross the guys out.
I'm 27. I live with my partner, our dog and three cats.
When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, in the last 7 years I've had 5 major operations, constant pain, horrible symptoms, and I've had to accept (try to accept) that I cannot have children.
Around the time of being diagnosed, I started to become depressed, and started to drink. I honestly don't know which came first. I always told myself I drank because I was depressed. The years following, I became the stereotypical "bottle of wine with dinner" person. I have social anxiety, so I do not enjoy nightclubs etc, always being much happier at home with a cat on my knee and a glass (bottle) of wine.
I am now at the point where there are often nights where a bottle isn't enough. This is usually if I'm alone, I will hunt around the house and literally drink anything my partner has in. These nights used to be very rare, now they are happening once a week.
I recently started my own charity, and have been putting my heart and soul into it. Last night we held our first fund raiser, and it was a disaster. Despite endless promotion, hardly anyone came. My reaction to things like this is obviously to drink. I was up until 5am drinking. Apparently at one point I attempted to come to bed and woke my partner up.
Today I am just filled with shame and embarrassment, and I feel so incredibly ill. I should have got so much work done today, but I have sat here like a zombie. At one point I packed a bag, and wanted to run away from it all, but I realised that will not help.
So today it stops. I have said this to myself many times, but never to anyone else. I have never wanted to acknowledge what a problem this has become.
I have booked an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I'm very reluctant to have this on my medical records, but I realise now that I cannot do it alone. I have been speaking to someone from AA on email, and I plan to attend a meeting as soon as I am brave enough. And now here I am.
I have also told my partner that after last night I realise that I have a problem, and I'm going to sort myself out. He drinks, probably more than he should. However he does not go "weird" like I do when drunk, doesn't suffer blackouts, and doesn't want to drink the house when something goes wrong. He doesn't believe I have a problem and thinks last night was a normal reaction to how the event had gone. His family are all "functioning alcoholics" he has grown up surrounded by booze so it's difficult to get him to realise what's normal and what isn't. He also probably doesn't want to drink alone... we had the same issue when I stopped eating meat!
So here it is, Day One. Is it still day one if I was drinking until 5am?! I hope so.
I really look forward to reading around the forums more and getting to know you xx
I'm new here, and pretty nervous. I'm also sorry if this goes on too long. Also posted in the ladies section, but over on this one I will limit any talk about my health problems as I don't want to gross the guys out.
I'm 27. I live with my partner, our dog and three cats.
When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, in the last 7 years I've had 5 major operations, constant pain, horrible symptoms, and I've had to accept (try to accept) that I cannot have children.
Around the time of being diagnosed, I started to become depressed, and started to drink. I honestly don't know which came first. I always told myself I drank because I was depressed. The years following, I became the stereotypical "bottle of wine with dinner" person. I have social anxiety, so I do not enjoy nightclubs etc, always being much happier at home with a cat on my knee and a glass (bottle) of wine.
I am now at the point where there are often nights where a bottle isn't enough. This is usually if I'm alone, I will hunt around the house and literally drink anything my partner has in. These nights used to be very rare, now they are happening once a week.
I recently started my own charity, and have been putting my heart and soul into it. Last night we held our first fund raiser, and it was a disaster. Despite endless promotion, hardly anyone came. My reaction to things like this is obviously to drink. I was up until 5am drinking. Apparently at one point I attempted to come to bed and woke my partner up.
Today I am just filled with shame and embarrassment, and I feel so incredibly ill. I should have got so much work done today, but I have sat here like a zombie. At one point I packed a bag, and wanted to run away from it all, but I realised that will not help.
So today it stops. I have said this to myself many times, but never to anyone else. I have never wanted to acknowledge what a problem this has become.
I have booked an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I'm very reluctant to have this on my medical records, but I realise now that I cannot do it alone. I have been speaking to someone from AA on email, and I plan to attend a meeting as soon as I am brave enough. And now here I am.
I have also told my partner that after last night I realise that I have a problem, and I'm going to sort myself out. He drinks, probably more than he should. However he does not go "weird" like I do when drunk, doesn't suffer blackouts, and doesn't want to drink the house when something goes wrong. He doesn't believe I have a problem and thinks last night was a normal reaction to how the event had gone. His family are all "functioning alcoholics" he has grown up surrounded by booze so it's difficult to get him to realise what's normal and what isn't. He also probably doesn't want to drink alone... we had the same issue when I stopped eating meat!
So here it is, Day One. Is it still day one if I was drinking until 5am?! I hope so.
I really look forward to reading around the forums more and getting to know you xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 16
Thank you all. I have woken up on day 2 feeling fresh, and very motivated about all the work I have to do today.
Tonight is my partner's family's christmas party. This is probably the worst time for day 2. It's a very big drinking event. I have decided to take the car, that's the one thing that I know completely stops me from ever drinking. I would never drink drive. His Father is so insensitive he will probably ask if I'm pregnant when I say I'm not drinking. But we have an early start the next day so I'm looking forward to waking up and not feeling rough.
Fingers crossed I get through tonight xx
Tonight is my partner's family's christmas party. This is probably the worst time for day 2. It's a very big drinking event. I have decided to take the car, that's the one thing that I know completely stops me from ever drinking. I would never drink drive. His Father is so insensitive he will probably ask if I'm pregnant when I say I'm not drinking. But we have an early start the next day so I'm looking forward to waking up and not feeling rough.
Fingers crossed I get through tonight xx
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
We'll be here all the way if at any chance you can miss this I suggest that but if your going then just tell ppl no thanks when offered a drink ask for a coca cola or something
Keep checking in with us & great job on day 2
Keep checking in with us & great job on day 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 16
Thanks sober wolf, will definitely be on the Diet Coke. I thought maybe I could just say I was on a health kick, I don't know. When a girl that usually drinks refuses a drink, the first suggestion is that she's pregnant!! His family know this can never be the case for me, but I doubt that will stop them gossiping!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 16
Unfortunately not! So many family dramas and politics it would take me all day to explain... but no. If I refused to go it would cause a lot of problems for myself and my partner. His family are not the understanding type, and it's the only time we see his brothers and sisters all year. I am going to keep thinking about how good it will be when I wake up not feeling like I'm going to die. Then I can have a really productive day instead of lying in bed ordering Dominos pizza!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
