A Growing Experience
A Growing Experience
Hey, all. I posted this (see below) on the other side of SR, but it is a codependency successful moment, so I thought that it would be helpful to share here. (and off topic, but my mom was obviously on her way to being drunk this morning when I talked to her on the phone. I feel very detached about it and in some sad way, relieved, because her honeymoon period had me questioning myself and my perceptions)
I think most of us are not used to caretaking ourselves in any meaningful way. My underlying reasons for drinking were to deal with my anxieties, resentments and my codependent tendencies. When I was a drinker, my only fix when any of these things reared their ugly heads was to act impulsively and emotionally and then drink about it.
Two nights ago, I went through an upsetting situation with my teenage son and his overzealous coach. Yesterday, feeling my crazy emotional state, instead of looking to fix the externals (i.e. desperately try to make my son feel better, attack the coach from my emotional state, etc.), I knew I had to make my internals better. So, for me, despite the crazy busy time of the year, I knew that I had to focus on myself. I went to three yoga classes yesterday, two of them being meditative in nature. I calmed myself down, accepted the situation and looked deeply into myself into what I felt needed to be done. I asked my level headed husband to email the coach in a respectful manner. He did. The coach sent a reasonable explanation back. Last night, we all watched a movie together as a family and my teenage son actually joined us and seemed in a good mood. I am in a calm, happy mood today.
I think most of us are not used to caretaking ourselves in any meaningful way. My underlying reasons for drinking were to deal with my anxieties, resentments and my codependent tendencies. When I was a drinker, my only fix when any of these things reared their ugly heads was to act impulsively and emotionally and then drink about it.
Two nights ago, I went through an upsetting situation with my teenage son and his overzealous coach. Yesterday, feeling my crazy emotional state, instead of looking to fix the externals (i.e. desperately try to make my son feel better, attack the coach from my emotional state, etc.), I knew I had to make my internals better. So, for me, despite the crazy busy time of the year, I knew that I had to focus on myself. I went to three yoga classes yesterday, two of them being meditative in nature. I calmed myself down, accepted the situation and looked deeply into myself into what I felt needed to be done. I asked my level headed husband to email the coach in a respectful manner. He did. The coach sent a reasonable explanation back. Last night, we all watched a movie together as a family and my teenage son actually joined us and seemed in a good mood. I am in a calm, happy mood today.
Yay for you DD. This is a victory indeed, and a great example of the benefits you can reap from a "hands off" approach to life's problems. I struggle with these situations with my teenage son. Part of teaching him to navigate life means letting HIM figure out his own solutions instead of jumping in with both feet to "fix" everything for him, which is my natural instinct.
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