takingsteps

My AH is in rehab, he comes home in 2 weeks. I am so excited for him to be home. We've never spent this much time apart. I've been reading and trying to work on my codependent behaviors, easier said than done.
We talk a couple times a day, but I'm having a hard time connecting. I feel like I can't tell him how I feel because he has enough going on. Here there to work on his issues and I'm home dealing with everything else.
I feel alone in all of this, it's hard to take it one day at a time when all I want is for him to be home.
Thanks for listening. If anyone has suggestions on how to better communicate with a loved one in rehab please feel free to share.

Nelly1

I know exactly how you feel as I just went through this two weeks ago. (He's been home for two weeks and relapsed the second day) I was so excited for him to come home, I picked him up and had ballsoons waiting for him, a big card congratulating him on his month of sobriety, took him out to lunch at his favorite restaurant.... All the while he was pondering and waiting for his highly anticipated first bag of dope since rehab began. I'm not trying to discourage you, every addict is different and some are extremely successful in their sobriety.... I just wish someone would have warned me (not that I would have listened anyway) ... That seeing him sober in rehab was sooooooo warming to my heart, I was sure I had him back and couldn't wait to start our new journey through life with him sober!! While he was in rehab I didn't see any reason for failure, he said all the right things and I truly believed a change was in the making* I too felt that I was just left "picking up the pieces" every nurse said during visits ( work on yourself ) he's doing the work here... It was all about him, and I often though ... Hey wait a minute, what about me??! The girl who has suffered right there with you, holding your hand all the way to rehab....... Please take my warning into consideration, I'm not by any means saying there's no hope, I'm saying look out for the potential for failure because I was so soooo so sure and so so sooo wrong. Take care and please message me if you have any questions!! I wish you all the best!

Txhelp

In my opinion, rehab is just the beginning of the journey toward healing. You each are on your own journey.

I would limit my conversations to more of the supportive nature during this time. However, I would also encourage you to get a marriage counselor (lined up before he comes home) to work through bumps in the road and communication.

Remember, when he gets home...sobriety is his business. Judge him by behaviors. Sanity is your business.