Highwind

I really want to go to AA but im petrified I will meet someone there who I know who didnt know I had a problem. Has this happened to anyone is yes was it terribly awkward.

Highwind

Also scared people wont think my problem is bad enough, I still hold down a job and have my family but I have drunk to black out every night for months so think that must be enough. Dont want people to just think im having a moan about trivial problems.

thenewguy

I met someone I knew at a meeting, and it was a great relief actually. Like a weight off my shoulders. I wouldn't let that fear stop you from attending a meeting...

Regards

Coldfusion

Yes, when I first went to AA there were people there I recognized, and they were surprised to see that I had a problem. But there is mutual understanding because we are all there for the same reason. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so you should feel welcome at any meeting.

Upwardspiral

I live in a smallish town and I have run into a number of folks I know or am acquainted with: old friends, customers of my business, former coworkers and even bosses, past enemies, local legends, etc.
But don't worry!!
You are all there for the same reason, you have been to hell and back and you're trying to heal.
I've been quite surprised to see some folks there, but there's nothing but a deeper compassion and understanding that results, in my experience.
Plus, the anonymity thing is taken very seriously. People don't blab about who they saw at meetings without giving themselves away too.

My first few meetings were very uncomfortable for me, but like anything you do repeatedly it becomes familiar. Eventually I started to feel like I had a new community. Now I am even Facebook friends with some folks from the rooms; this anonymous community is beginning to feel like a part of my "real life" . I no longer fear people finding out I'm in AA because my life is drastically improving as a result!

Upwardspiral

And fwiw, I was still a pretty "functional" alcoholic too, it really doesn't matter what floor you're getting off on, everyone's welcome.

ScottFromWI

Yes it happens but it's not awkward at all. They are there because they have a problem too and are looking to solve it.

Zebra1275

The only requirement to attend AA meetings is a desire to stop drinking.

I have drunk to black out every night for months

You will fit in.

Highwind

I think maybe i'll just find one 15-20 miles away, im very private and dont think I could stay if someone I recognised was there. Dont mind the travel, nce time to think things through.

Highwind

I ythink I need it, was just a bit worried it will be all people who have lost everything and i'll seem a bit pompus........im a worrier by nature and get nervous if there will be more than 2or 3 strangers in a situation.

sg1970

Although the fears you are having seem very real they are irrational. I was in your exact same situation over a year ago. Go. It is worth it. I was a high bottom and worried about seeing people I knew. Now I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Let us know how it turns out!

Fly N Buy

I have run into more people is seedy, nasty French Quarter establishments I knew and was embarrassed for both of us than in meetings.

We are sooo very cautious - except when intoxicated!

Go to meetings, get sober and start to enjoy life again.It is the greatest gift ever! If you see someone you know, ask them How they stay sober and get their phone number - you'll need it.

The alternatives to slight embarrassment are fair worse including jail, hospitalization and death......

Many of us have felt as you do - someone basically said to me what I just typed to you. Someday you'll pass that on, perhaps.

ScottFromWI

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that there are all kinds of people at AA meetings. Lawyers, health care workers, corporate finance people, bankers, dentists, professors and just about any other profession you can name are in recovery. "losing everything" is not a prerequisite to enter a meeting.

PurpleKnight

Dive right in Highwind, you never know how it's going to pan out, but I do know living according to fear is not a great way forward in Sobriety, alcohol loves fear, it's a great way of sidetracking us!!

Make Sobreity happen and give AA a go!!

freestylebob

Hi Highwind
Many ppl get sober online never go to a F2F meeting, meetings online include AA/NA, LifeRing, Smart, Free Style Recovery, google info, layers and layers of online support, this forum proves online works, not a short cut, you get out what you put in.
Take Care
Bob O

Berrybean

I think we all tend to imagine other alcoholics with the idea in our heads of scruffy old men with a bottle in a bag and a string belt . I can promise that you will be relieved when you arrive. Most meetings I go to have a very varying cross section of people. I don't know what everyone does at my main meeting(s) but these are the things I do know. We have teachers (I am one); nurses; a surgeon; a counsellor; a social worker; a retired solicitor; a book publisher; a scaffolder; several jockeys; shop assistants; an optician; a map maker (who works for all the major museums in the UK); students; people actively seeking work; grandmothers; grandfathers; mothers; and fathers.

I have also met a handful of unemployed people who do not seem to be ready to find employment just yet, and who live in hostels. They live a sad and chaotic lifestyle now. Mostly this was not always the case for them, and they wish that they'd asked for help sooner, and not ended up with the rock-bottom that they did. Occasionally I've known one to become a bit grumpy when others are talking about problems with houses; cars; or holiday plans. I suppose it's understandable. But like I say - these people are in the minority in the meetings that I ended up making my regular ones (not because I was avoiding them - not at all - some of the first people to give me lots of help in my first meeting would come into this category and I will always be grateful to them, but I've moved to a different area now so rarely see them).

Different meetings tend to have a different feel to them, so it's worth trying lots and seeing where you feel comfortable. Some people travel quite a distance for meetings - my (now deceased) stepdad's sponsor often goes to the meeting in my city, even though its a good 45 miles away from his home (he helps at a local prison on the day of the meeting so he comes along after helping the alcoholic inmates there).

You can't guarantee that you won't run into someone you know in a meeting - but if they're there it will be because they also have issues with alcohol, so they will understand and you can expect them to respect your anonymity, and they will be trusting you to respect theirs also. There is an orange card at the meeting which reminds us: 'Who you see here; what you hear here; let it stay here.' and we are reminded of that at every meeting.

Please, seek the help you deserve. Our alcoholic voices are good at feeding our fears, encouraging us to stay in the problem instead of seeking out and living in the solution. If we keep listening to the lies our AV feeds us, and acting upon them, it just makes it stronger and louder. I try to think of mine as an irritating toddler griping on for something.

If it makes it easier, you can contact the helpline for your area. They can get someone (or your own gender) in your local area to contact you so you can chat about what to expect, where to find it, and maybe even meet you before the meeting so you don't have to walk in alone.

tomsteve

this is from the second set of stories in the big book:

THEY STOPPED IN TIME
Among today’s incoming A.A. members, many have
never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though
given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no ac-
quaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and
jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been oc-
casional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had
been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance.
Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family,
or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer
that question. They saw that they had become actual or po-
tential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet
been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control,
when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom
that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emo-
tional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alco-
holism already had them; that complete ruin would be only
a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that
in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; cer-
tainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to
become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen A.A.’s, and hundreds of thou-
sands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering.
They sum it up something like this: “We didn’t wait to hit
bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom.
Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on
Alcoholics Anonymous.”

MIRecovery

I met an old friend. Turns out he was a drunk just like me. We renewed our friendship and stay sober together

thomas11

Alcoholism is not a trivial problem. I believe it is natural to feel scared, but others in there were probably scared the first time they went too. I would respect you for having the guts and the smarts to attend.

MIRecovery

The friend I'm referring to has never been arrested and makes $300K/Yr. You simply can't tell an alcoholic by their cover