Hello All
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: wolverhampton
Posts: 6
Hello All
I am new to this kind of thing. I don't know really what to say :-).
My names Adam and alcohol is ruining my life!
I suppose I would like to talk to people tell me how they have beaten this.
Thanks
ADam
My names Adam and alcohol is ruining my life!
I suppose I would like to talk to people tell me how they have beaten this.
Thanks
ADam
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Determination, a desire to quite, some failing...
Its different for everyone. Some need medical help, some need AA, some (few) can do it on their own. Just depends what you need personally. Why dont you tel us a little bit more about yourself and your battles and wins?
Its different for everyone. Some need medical help, some need AA, some (few) can do it on their own. Just depends what you need personally. Why dont you tel us a little bit more about yourself and your battles and wins?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR adamski! You've found a great place to find support and answers to your questions about sobriety. Most of us have been in the same situation as you are now at one point in our lives, so we "get it".
Read lots, ask lots of questions and feel free to share whatever you are comfortable sharing.
A great "first read" is the following thread explaining many of the common sobriety plans/programs that are used by folks around here.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Read lots, ask lots of questions and feel free to share whatever you are comfortable sharing.
A great "first read" is the following thread explaining many of the common sobriety plans/programs that are used by folks around here.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Welcome to SR, Adamski.
Most people need a sober plan; the link posted by Scott is a great one. Here is another:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
Glad you found us.
Most people need a sober plan; the link posted by Scott is a great one. Here is another:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
Glad you found us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
There are lots of success stories on this site.
I made not drinking my #1 goal in early days. I just refused to pick up a drink, no matter what happened in my world. Each day it got a little easier, and now my life is so much better I can't imagine going back to that depressed, sad, frightened person I was while drinking.
Welcome, Adamski
I made not drinking my #1 goal in early days. I just refused to pick up a drink, no matter what happened in my world. Each day it got a little easier, and now my life is so much better I can't imagine going back to that depressed, sad, frightened person I was while drinking.
Welcome, Adamski
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,057
Welcome Adam!
Read around and post often--it works if you work it! Here's a couple good threads to join:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5678326
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5668508
Read around and post often--it works if you work it! Here's a couple good threads to join:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5678326
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5668508
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: wolverhampton
Posts: 6
Hey all, thanks for the quick responses. Yesterday I had just finished a 3 day binge. In the process I spend money I cant afford to. Its really changes me. Turns me defensive and nasty. For example I am currently having to apologise and try yo keep my relationship because of the nasty phone calls I make when I am completely intoxicated. I say things that are not true to hurt her or anyone that I love / care for whilst going through this horrible time. The guilt and regret I feel when I wake up literally makes me puke! I want to stop but i keep falling for the same trap, 'I'll just have a couple'... then it leads to destruction and if I carry on my demise. I am so tired of doing this to myself and others.
Adam
Adam
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Welcome to SR!
Joining SR is a great start. Recognizing that alcohol is ruining your life is a huge step.
As far as what helped me, it was mostly about continually working on my mind. I had to want to quit. I knew the withdrawals were not going to be a picnic so I needed strength to push through the initial acute withdrawal stage.
Alcohol was ruining my life too. So that's where I started. I made a list on my smart phone of all the ways it was ruining me. I kept reading and adding to the list.
Meantime, I read and read and read. I filled my mind with ways to overcome my addiction. I read a ton of posts on SR. There's lots and lots of great techniques and suggestions for dealing with this problem here.
In fact, I am certain somebody behind me is going to paste some links for you to check out as a great place to get started.
There just comes a point when we hate what alcohol is doing. If you hate what drinking does to you, you're off to a good start.
Another key for me was identifying my reason for being a drunk and addressing those issues. For me, it was depression and anxiety. So I sought counseling which was also a huge help.
Think of it this way. Instead of thinking that you have to stop drinking, think of how you want to start living life. That you want to live life to its fullest. You want joy, peace, confidence, energy. You want people around you who love and care for you. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, you want to love yourself!!
So a good plan, from my experience, includes:
- strengthening the hatred towards alcohol by paying attention to and recognizing what it's done and doing. Make something that you can refer to later.
- filling the mind with positives and techniques for overcoming the addiction. Spending a lot of time here in SR, reading books / ebooks / blogs about recovery, going to a few AA mtgs.
- what is wrong with you? Figure that out and work towards resolving those issues in a healthy manner. Personally, I really believe every alcoholic needs counseling. Seeing a professional will help speed the process of identifying root issues and solving them. Not just masking them or avoiding them by drinking, but actually fixing them...permanently.
- making a support system. Friends, family, AA, SR. The more you commit to reaching out like you just did, the easier your recovery.
- take good care of your body. Eat right, drink water. Cut out or reduce salt, sugar, fatty foods, processed foods. A good diet goes a looong way towards how good we feel emotionally.
- take good care of your mind. Read, mediate, journal. I like using self guided meditation videos on you tube. Videos are available to address alcoholism, addiction, depression, anxiety, confidence, happiness, etc.
I quit in April. Wasn't easy at first honestly. But I was surprised at how quick my body and mind started to improve. After my first week sober I was already noticing several positive changes. Even during the first few days I noticed how drastically my anxiety improved.
Go for it. Go all in. You'll be glad you did!!
Stay close to SR. Read up on AVART, Rational Recovery, and urge surfing. They were life savers.
Feel free to PM me any time.
image-832111606.jpg
Joining SR is a great start. Recognizing that alcohol is ruining your life is a huge step.
As far as what helped me, it was mostly about continually working on my mind. I had to want to quit. I knew the withdrawals were not going to be a picnic so I needed strength to push through the initial acute withdrawal stage.
Alcohol was ruining my life too. So that's where I started. I made a list on my smart phone of all the ways it was ruining me. I kept reading and adding to the list.
Meantime, I read and read and read. I filled my mind with ways to overcome my addiction. I read a ton of posts on SR. There's lots and lots of great techniques and suggestions for dealing with this problem here.
In fact, I am certain somebody behind me is going to paste some links for you to check out as a great place to get started.
There just comes a point when we hate what alcohol is doing. If you hate what drinking does to you, you're off to a good start.
Another key for me was identifying my reason for being a drunk and addressing those issues. For me, it was depression and anxiety. So I sought counseling which was also a huge help.
Think of it this way. Instead of thinking that you have to stop drinking, think of how you want to start living life. That you want to live life to its fullest. You want joy, peace, confidence, energy. You want people around you who love and care for you. And MOST IMPORTANTLY, you want to love yourself!!
So a good plan, from my experience, includes:
- strengthening the hatred towards alcohol by paying attention to and recognizing what it's done and doing. Make something that you can refer to later.
- filling the mind with positives and techniques for overcoming the addiction. Spending a lot of time here in SR, reading books / ebooks / blogs about recovery, going to a few AA mtgs.
- what is wrong with you? Figure that out and work towards resolving those issues in a healthy manner. Personally, I really believe every alcoholic needs counseling. Seeing a professional will help speed the process of identifying root issues and solving them. Not just masking them or avoiding them by drinking, but actually fixing them...permanently.
- making a support system. Friends, family, AA, SR. The more you commit to reaching out like you just did, the easier your recovery.
- take good care of your body. Eat right, drink water. Cut out or reduce salt, sugar, fatty foods, processed foods. A good diet goes a looong way towards how good we feel emotionally.
- take good care of your mind. Read, mediate, journal. I like using self guided meditation videos on you tube. Videos are available to address alcoholism, addiction, depression, anxiety, confidence, happiness, etc.
I quit in April. Wasn't easy at first honestly. But I was surprised at how quick my body and mind started to improve. After my first week sober I was already noticing several positive changes. Even during the first few days I noticed how drastically my anxiety improved.
Go for it. Go all in. You'll be glad you did!!
Stay close to SR. Read up on AVART, Rational Recovery, and urge surfing. They were life savers.
Feel free to PM me any time.
image-832111606.jpg
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: wolverhampton
Posts: 6
Incontrol15, Thank you for your knowledge and wisdom you shared with me.
I will continue to read and post and fill my mind with what I want to do with my life. That really makes sense to me.
Adam
I will continue to read and post and fill my mind with what I want to do with my life. That really makes sense to me.
Adam
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Adamski84 
Hey all, thanks for the quick responses. Yesterday I had just finished a 3 day binge. In the process I spend money I cant afford to. Its really changes me. Turns me defensive and nasty. For example I am currently having to apologise and try yo keep my relationship because of the nasty phone calls I make when I am completely intoxicated. I say things that are not true to hurt her or anyone that I love / care for whilst going through this horrible time. The guilt and regret I feel when I wake up literally makes me puke! I want to stop but i keep falling for the same trap, 'I'll just have a couple'... then it leads to destruction and if I carry on my demise. I am so tired of doing this to myself and others.
Adam
Adam
Welcome to the forum from another UK alcoholic.
I'm one of many who've found the help that AA offers really valuable.
Is today your intended sobriety date, or are you just exploring at the moment?
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: wolverhampton
Posts: 6
Hi Beccybean,
Yes today is my intended sobriety. I am currently sitting in my flat just batting off all these vile mental and physical feelings. I am really happy I have come across this site. I have already been given some great insight already too.
I am absolutely exhausted and I never want to continue to do and feel like this again!
Adam
Yes today is my intended sobriety. I am currently sitting in my flat just batting off all these vile mental and physical feelings. I am really happy I have come across this site. I have already been given some great insight already too.
I am absolutely exhausted and I never want to continue to do and feel like this again!
Adam
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Your welcome.
Alcohol ruined my life. It changed my attitude towards life. I was only "happy" when I was drinking. So I thought.
I wish I had quit earlier. I can't believe I let alcohol tear down most everything that was important to me before I realized what was happening. I wish I was 30 something when I realized I had a problem. It wasn't until I was 47 that I woke up and saw the damage I was doing. By then, I had years and years of destruction.
My attitude was so bad, I cheated on my wife then ultimately gave up on them. I'm now divorced and only see my kids once in a while.
My attitude was so bad I didn't care about my job. I was always thinking of negative things. Even the smallest issue would become huge for me because I would let those negative thoughts echo in my head. I ended up losing my job of 20yrs.
The first thing I did when I got fired was buy a bottle of vodka. From that moment I maintained being drunk for a year. Every day, all day. At first I would wait till at least lunch before drinking. But soon I began adding vodka to my coffee.
It's a progressive disease. The longer you continue to drink, the worse it's going to get. In my case, I started romanticizing suicide. Depression kept getting worse as my regrets were mounting.
Something that might sound logical....
- When we drink, life is great at first (so we think). The more we drink, it only goes down from there. There's no limit as to how low it can go. As long as we're drinking, we continue to dig deeper and deeper. Life gets harder and harder. There's no floor, only death. Every level on the way to death is only a false floor. Someplace where you hang out for a while. Then soon enough you fall through that floor and find a new low. It just keeps getting worse.
- when we become sober, life sucks at first. Anxiety, depression, regret. It can suck pretty bad at first. But the more we're sober, the better life gets. It just gets easier and easier. We get happier and more "in the game". There's no limit as to how good life can get. It's really up to us.
Alcohol ruined my life. It changed my attitude towards life. I was only "happy" when I was drinking. So I thought.
I wish I had quit earlier. I can't believe I let alcohol tear down most everything that was important to me before I realized what was happening. I wish I was 30 something when I realized I had a problem. It wasn't until I was 47 that I woke up and saw the damage I was doing. By then, I had years and years of destruction.
My attitude was so bad, I cheated on my wife then ultimately gave up on them. I'm now divorced and only see my kids once in a while.
My attitude was so bad I didn't care about my job. I was always thinking of negative things. Even the smallest issue would become huge for me because I would let those negative thoughts echo in my head. I ended up losing my job of 20yrs.
The first thing I did when I got fired was buy a bottle of vodka. From that moment I maintained being drunk for a year. Every day, all day. At first I would wait till at least lunch before drinking. But soon I began adding vodka to my coffee.
It's a progressive disease. The longer you continue to drink, the worse it's going to get. In my case, I started romanticizing suicide. Depression kept getting worse as my regrets were mounting.
Something that might sound logical....
- When we drink, life is great at first (so we think). The more we drink, it only goes down from there. There's no limit as to how low it can go. As long as we're drinking, we continue to dig deeper and deeper. Life gets harder and harder. There's no floor, only death. Every level on the way to death is only a false floor. Someplace where you hang out for a while. Then soon enough you fall through that floor and find a new low. It just keeps getting worse.
- when we become sober, life sucks at first. Anxiety, depression, regret. It can suck pretty bad at first. But the more we're sober, the better life gets. It just gets easier and easier. We get happier and more "in the game". There's no limit as to how good life can get. It's really up to us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
My drinking history
- drink with friends once in a while
- drink every weekend
- get drunk every weekend
- drink every day after work
- get drunk every day after work
- drink during the day once in a while
- get drunk and stay that way all day.
I was causing destruction by the time I was drinking every day. I wasn't getting drunk every day, but I was feeding depression the whole time I put alcohol in my body.
I knew I was depressed but didn't connect the two. I just knew that I wasn't depressed when I was drinking. So I drank often. The depression got worse and worse. About 3 years ago is when I started to self destruct. Slowly but progressively tearing down everything that was around me. I was not happy with my life, so I subconsciously destroyed my life as it was. Piece by piece I tore it all down.
I look back at that experience and shake my head. It was all subconscious. If I applied my logical side years ago, I would have made effort to strengthen and grow from where I was. I would have BUILT, not destroyed.
The moment I realized I HAD to stop drinking? I was drinking heavily to deal with anxiety which had mounted due to my self destruction. I would drink and be anxiety free for a little while. Then I'd drink more. After a while, I would actually have a panic attack immediately after drinking! My solution? Drink more.
That's when I started reading up on what heavy drinking does to us. Everything I read made sense. Most of it I had already experienced. That gave me faith to believe everything I read.
The more I researched / read, the more clear it became that I was where I was due to my drinking. Drinking was not a way out. It was not a temporary reprieve from the issues. It was actually CAUSING my problems.
Now I was mad. I was pissed at what I allowed alcohol to do. I 100% bought into Rational Recovery. The more I read into it, the more I started applying it. Rational recovery basically has you think about your addiction as a monster or a beast. Some will say AV (Alcoholic Voice).
I began fighting with me monster, my beast. I would argue with it. Tell it it's wrong. I would get mad at it. Basically that allowed me the chance to fight. A fight for life. I am smarter than any beast. I know what's best for me than any beast does. The more I read up on recovery, the smarter I became and the more I knew what was best for me.
I decided to stage an all out war against my beast. I decided a "shock and awe" style battle. Complete with defensive and offensive strategies. I wanted my life back and I wanted it back quick. No messing around.
In my first week:
- I posted my first 24hrs in SR. A simple promise not to drink that day. I made it to somebody else other than me. Had some accountability there.
- scheduled an appointment with a counselor.
- made my lists: what I hate about drinking, what I want out of life, what triggers I have and the tools available to fight them.
- attended one AA meeting
- attended two live chat meetings here on SR (tue and fri). Check them out.
- read and read and read
- drank a lot of water, took my multi vitamins, and ate nothing but healthy foods.
- drink with friends once in a while
- drink every weekend
- get drunk every weekend
- drink every day after work
- get drunk every day after work
- drink during the day once in a while
- get drunk and stay that way all day.
I was causing destruction by the time I was drinking every day. I wasn't getting drunk every day, but I was feeding depression the whole time I put alcohol in my body.
I knew I was depressed but didn't connect the two. I just knew that I wasn't depressed when I was drinking. So I drank often. The depression got worse and worse. About 3 years ago is when I started to self destruct. Slowly but progressively tearing down everything that was around me. I was not happy with my life, so I subconsciously destroyed my life as it was. Piece by piece I tore it all down.
I look back at that experience and shake my head. It was all subconscious. If I applied my logical side years ago, I would have made effort to strengthen and grow from where I was. I would have BUILT, not destroyed.
The moment I realized I HAD to stop drinking? I was drinking heavily to deal with anxiety which had mounted due to my self destruction. I would drink and be anxiety free for a little while. Then I'd drink more. After a while, I would actually have a panic attack immediately after drinking! My solution? Drink more.
That's when I started reading up on what heavy drinking does to us. Everything I read made sense. Most of it I had already experienced. That gave me faith to believe everything I read.
The more I researched / read, the more clear it became that I was where I was due to my drinking. Drinking was not a way out. It was not a temporary reprieve from the issues. It was actually CAUSING my problems.
Now I was mad. I was pissed at what I allowed alcohol to do. I 100% bought into Rational Recovery. The more I read into it, the more I started applying it. Rational recovery basically has you think about your addiction as a monster or a beast. Some will say AV (Alcoholic Voice).
I began fighting with me monster, my beast. I would argue with it. Tell it it's wrong. I would get mad at it. Basically that allowed me the chance to fight. A fight for life. I am smarter than any beast. I know what's best for me than any beast does. The more I read up on recovery, the smarter I became and the more I knew what was best for me.
I decided to stage an all out war against my beast. I decided a "shock and awe" style battle. Complete with defensive and offensive strategies. I wanted my life back and I wanted it back quick. No messing around.
In my first week:
- I posted my first 24hrs in SR. A simple promise not to drink that day. I made it to somebody else other than me. Had some accountability there.
- scheduled an appointment with a counselor.
- made my lists: what I hate about drinking, what I want out of life, what triggers I have and the tools available to fight them.
- attended one AA meeting
- attended two live chat meetings here on SR (tue and fri). Check them out.
- read and read and read
- drank a lot of water, took my multi vitamins, and ate nothing but healthy foods.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 923
Welcome to SR Adam,
I can't offer any words of wisdom as I've only been sober a bit more than a month but I do come here and read several times a day and that's been a huge help. This place has been a godsend to me.
I can tell you that being sober is giving me things that I thought were lost forever.
Whatever it takes, whatever works for you, just do it. You won't regret it.
Good luck and best wishes for you on your journey.
I
I can't offer any words of wisdom as I've only been sober a bit more than a month but I do come here and read several times a day and that's been a huge help. This place has been a godsend to me.
I can tell you that being sober is giving me things that I thought were lost forever.
Whatever it takes, whatever works for you, just do it. You won't regret it.
Good luck and best wishes for you on your journey.
I
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