LadyOwl

I thought I'd start a thread on the holidays because even if you don't celebrate or subscribe to a particular religion or celebration, I think that the December holidays can be particularly challenging. So many messages about family and happiness and obligation and tradition and the perfect gift and blah blah blah.

My alcoholic father died on December 19, and my birthday is December 30. December is typically a rough month for me.

This year I've had to focus a lot on the immediate and ongoing problems with my alcoholic mother (and other dysfunctional family members), and I've been pushing aside some of my thoughts and processing on the holidays, but the grief and other stuff pops up in various places. I'm working on it as best as I can. My therapy group had a whole session about the holidays before Thanksgiving, and I have an individual session booked on December 19 (schedule just worked out that way, but it's nice).

I mostly just want to isolate this time of year, which is why I'm making more of an effort to post now.

Sending you all strength if this season is also tough for you!

Kialua

Thanks. My mom died at Christmas several years ago and my dad longer ago. Don't celebrate with my siblings at all because of my a dad ruining it by dividing and conquering us. Holidays are always hard, but always learning to get through them, not expecting anything.

happybeingme

I am sorry for your losses. I always hated Christmas. Just a giant disappointment. I learned at an early age to find joy in other people's happiness during Christmas because mine just wasn't important. This year I decided no more. I am staying home for the first time ever and am just going to enjoy a quiet day and a wonderful dinner with my husband and sons. No more running around.

Ap052183

I got out of a relationship with an alcoholic earlier this year and my family is full of dysfunctional romantic and non romantic relationships so I'm really dreading christmas. Being around all the codependency and unhealthy love has taken a toll on me this year so I've had to Isolate as well. I've been turning to friends for a sense of normalcy and so far it's going ok. Ive also started going to adult child of alcoholic/dysfunctional family meetings and i highly recommend them to anyone that hasnt gone. The holidays are hard.

PurpleKnight

Not a big Xmas fan to be honest . . . so very much appreciate the thread!!

Sending everyone some positive thoughts!!

Rio97

I'm not a very religious person, so I don't get real excited for X-mas. Naturally, like the "holiday" Starbucks cup, that offends some people, including my family. They make a big deal out of it and expect me to be just as enthusiastic. It's nerve wracking. The holidays are a tough time of year for me.