honeypig

DECEMBER 7

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

When the Time is Right

There are times when we simply do not know what to do or where to go next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.

We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.

Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.

It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.

While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.

Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.

Today I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

Blu96

I am having a hard time letting go of my alcoholic bf of 3 years. I saw so much progress and his drinking would come in waves. We had moments of such happiness and love and those are the moments that are stuck in my head.

I do remember the sleepless nights, constantly waking up to make sure he didn't drink himself to death, or urinate anywhere other then the toilet, or he locked the doors.

I did everything for this guy and supported him in so many ways. I wanted to show him that he was worthy of love and he thinks he's undeserving.

I don't understand myself why after everything, especially the horrible way he broke up with me, I still want him to come home. I miss him terribly and I'm devastated.

Was our relationship real? How do I let go of hope to reconcile? How do I just stop worrying about him?

lizatola

Love this share today! I know that in one of the Al Anon readings it talks about 'forcing solutions' and today I know that I don't have to force things to be as I want them, I can accept them as they are and just let it be, even if it's uncomfortable and even if I don't have the answers today.

Thanks for sharing this!

honeypig

Blu96, welcome to SR. I'm sorry you're in this painful place but you'll find a lot of learning and support here.

You know that on your end, it was. You will never know about his end.

Thru time and hard work on yourself here and in Alanon.

Same answer as above.

May I suggest starting a thread of your own here in Family and Friends? It's the best way to get replies that are focused on you and your situation, and you will get them, trust me!

Wishing you strength and clarity.

honeypig

This says it all for me. It seems every time I've tried to force an answer, simply b/c I'm so uncomfortable NOT having one, the result has been other than what I hoped for.

Yes, it's hard to wait. It turns out that it's even harder living with a mess I made b/c I was impatient or manipulative.

Like the coffee mug says, "Lord, give me patience, and give it to me NOW!"

slowclimb

This is exactly where I am right now. I am clueless about the direction life is going to take and just as much about what direction I might even like it to take. For now I think I'm doing pretty good day to day be aware, present and grateful.

Thank you honeypig - and the picture gave me a smile - classic movie to watch in my family!

firebolt

Love this - and this window is my favorite so far

biminiblue

The window!!! Love this.

Praying

Thanks for this one, it spoke to me today.