sickk&tired

Hi everyone,

I just have to know some of your personal experiences with this. I'm on day 19 of sobriety, and admittedly I feel better than I have in years. But I still fight the urge to make a mad dash to the liquor store all the time. I stay away using many techniques I found in Living Sober and by remembering that it will lead to a downward spiral, and that I cannot control myself when I'm drinking and that I'm powerless over alcohol, by remembering my last drunk,etc etc etc and yada yada yada, but its getting really exhausting. I mean I'll keep doing it because I'm DETERMINED not to let my disease ruin my life, but does it get easier as time passes, or am I sentenced to emotionally exhaust myself by concentrating on not taking that first drink every other minute?

I'm totally annoying myself by all this whining, so I apologize if any of you are reading this and are rolling your eyes as much as I am

-bea

In memory of miracle

I know the begining is rough not only mentally but in the physical sense also . My body went thru some changes and I felt tired alot . Try to get some rest and be easy with your new found precious sobriety . I am here to tell you it gets much better , I have days that go by now when I dont think of drinking . I hung in there thru all the changes of the past 10 months and it has been so worth it , those are some great tools you are using ! Give yourself a pat on the back for not drinking an alcoholic not drinking is a miracle ! I try to think positive these day and it works , it really does ! Keep the faith , I am pulling for you ! Prayers ^ Trish

Sandy Marie

Hi Sick&tired,
I've been sober for just a little longer than you and everyday it feels like I have to climb a mountain. It feels like I have to start over every day at the bottom and that I never get to the top. It IS very exhausting. The good thing is that I change mountains every day so I get to see the beauty each mountain has to offer. Maybe you can find something on a daily basis to give yourself an emotional boost. I know I'm not much help, but I DO care and I DO know how you're feeling.
Hugs, Sandy

Jalyn

Hi You guys!!

I finally got a chance to check in here after a long week back to work. I too was on Day 19 yesterday, and after a long hard week at work and it being Friday night, I sure wanted to unwind with a cocktail or two. I did not.

It is hard. Some days are harder than others and I find I need to be prepared for the hard days. I can't let myself believe that just because one day is easy, I am home free. I am not.

I was unable to go to the AA meeting this week and I have only gone to one but I plan on going back. I notice that I am able to focus better on the mission if I have a lot of fresh support from others or from reading. I never thought I would open the "Big Book" they gave me at the first meeting, but I did. I read it when I am having a hard time not running to the basement bar. It works every time. It is comforting and also a reminder that I do have a problem that is not going to go away.

I remind myself that I am going to embrace this new way of life and live it. Something I read in the "Big Book" last night was that when I enjoy drinking, I can't control it and when I try to control it I can't enjoy it. This was said by someone telling their story and it rang so true with me that I knew than and there that it spelled trouble.

So, as the book says,"Why bother?" That has helped me this week to stay sober. That and many fat free fudgecicles. I keep a big stock...oh but I have actually lost weight since stopping alcohol. Yipee!

Stay in touch and stay sober! Jalyn

ps no rolling of the eyes here. we can all relate to the constant struggle to become who we are really meant to be!

degadar

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

it will get easier bea, really it will. You've got over the worst already I should think. One day you'll wake up and realise you're not thinking about drink!

Deg.

lulu70

It does get better. The thing is, in my experience, drinking was actually a symptom of a much greater problem--ME. Until I could find a way to fix ME, I would remain a prisoner to alcohol and the urge to drink or drug. That is what AA has given to me. My program, my sponsor, and the people I meet in the meetings, are teaching me how to feel better about myself and how to live life without the urge to drink and destroy. I have heard many people in AA meetings talking about getting sober without the benefit of the program, and they were miserable, and eventually went back to the drink. I KNOW there are people who have got sober without AA who seem to be happy, but for me, I am not going to risk it. Why would I insist on doing it by myself when I know the program is there and that it really works?

I'm sorry if I sound preachy--I just feel so strongly and have learned so much and seen so many miracles in AA.

Congratulations on Day 19. I remember when you first came here. You are doing great. Keep hangin' in there!!

Love and hugs--

darkstar

I can testifiy to the urge to go and use. Just hold on to whatever you need to, i promise it does get better. I know you have heard that before, but truth is one of the most often heard things there is.

Much hope and Love,
DarKStaR

sherbear5104

What a beautiful picture!

Sick and Tired,

It does get better and easier. I like what Lulu said, whether it's preachy or not, but it is true. I have to work on myself in order to feel better. The more I work the steps, and get honest about my feelings, the better I begin to feel. You can do this, one day at a time. And please don't leave before the miracle happens!

Sherry