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Husband and I are drunks...

Old 09-10-2004, 10:12 AM
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Just another Addict
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Husband and I are drunks...

We need a end to the madness. Alcohol has cost us so much in our lives. We feed off one another and are always drunk. 11yr old boy in the house who is suffering because of the drinking. We have tried before......here we are. I know this isn't a we thing and should be an "I" thing. I'm afraid of what our relationship will go through in the quitting process. We have been like this for years. We have been to AA and no sucess. Any suggestions would be great.
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:39 AM
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Welcome to SR...

...I so hope you get the help you need!

If you are not against AA, might I ask what didn't work -- you or AA?

Don't mean to sound sarcastic or cynical, but I went to AA for a time as well, but had no program, and back out I went. If you are not against it, please go back and give it another shot, your son is definitely worth it -- and so are both of you! Your choice to jump off this f***d up elevator now, because it only goes down at this point, another couple of floors and you both may not have a choice.

Please get help somewhere!

Ken
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:45 AM
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Hi Brown Eyes,

Welcome to SR. I'm Anna, recovering alcoholic and I'm glad you found us. You can find lots of support and understanding here.

You're right, you need to look after yourself at the moment. You can't control what will happen to your relationship in the quitting process, but what you can do, is stop drinking today. I know when I first stopped drinking, I badly wanted to mend things with my daughter and counsellor told me I'd have to be patient. Only time will tell what will happen.

You can stop drinking today and start to feel better. We're here to help. Hang around and be inspired.

Love, Anna
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:47 AM
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Thanks Ken,

I think it is the AA in my town. I need to find another one. I have been through those doors so many times. The last sponser I had was more jacked up than myself. I felt hopeless. I guess I put alot of faith in my higher power. I am a recovering junky, been clean 8yrs. I have exchanged alcohol for my last addiction. I have made a pretty good drunk out of my husband. Hell if you can't beat em join em. I know I should go back to church. That is where it all starts for me. When I drink I have no God in my life. I deny him......I won't allow him to work in my life. That is how I gave up the drugs was I turned them over to him. Amazing!! It makes it hard when there are two drunks in the marriage. We feed off of one another. My husband knows there is a problem. But we do the "oh, just one" thing. Off we go!! I guess I expect my husband to lead me.......knowing that I am responsible for myself. Prayers would be great! Thanks for listening.
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Old 09-10-2004, 11:47 AM
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(((Prayers to you)))

That's got to be tough with both of you feeding off each other. I know a lot of couples in AA, some who found each other after being sober, others who came in together -- you can do this!!! Maybe if you were successful at making a good drunk out of him, you can make a good AAer out of him!

If there are multiple meetings in your area, try a few, get back into the Big Book and definitely pray! Remember, it's still one day at a time (sometimes a minute or an hour at a time).

God bless...

Ken
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Old 09-10-2004, 11:53 AM
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Now that is some logic there! I'm ready to be peaceful,loving,caring, nondestructive, sober husband and wife. Thanks for your advice.

Michaela
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Old 09-10-2004, 11:58 AM
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God, that would be awesome, and I would think your lives (and your son's) would get so much better, great vision! I will be thinking and praying for you tonight during our opening silence in our meeting.... Hope you find a great AA meeting to rebuild your life.

Ken
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Old 09-10-2004, 12:02 PM
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http://www.kc-aa.org/
There's a complete list of all the meetings in Kansas City at the link above BrownEyes.
Also a phone number for the central office.
Might be good to call and see if you can speak to someone about the concerns you have about your prior AA experience.
Like Ken, I'll be thinking of you when we have a moment of silence tonight.
Best of luck to you and your husband.
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Old 09-10-2004, 01:00 PM
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Chy
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Welcome! I hope you'll give AA another chance, if not, there are other options, check our Recovery Links forum for 12 step alternatives.
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Old 09-10-2004, 02:44 PM
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Hi BrownEyes,
Im from Kansas City as well,but we are currently living in Butler,Missouri.
If you have accesee to a car,there is an excellent AA in Belton,Mo.
I know its probably kinda far...but it would be well worth it.
The address is 128 B Markey Rd. 331-9507.
There is also one at 9912 Holmes Rd.942-9900

Welcome to SR!
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Old 09-10-2004, 03:43 PM
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Welcome to SR,

My husband still drinks, but I had to throw myself into working the AA steps with my whole heart and soul (what was left of it).

If you save yourself, you son will have at least one parent...without it, he has none.

You can be the best example of how AA works. Perhaps your husband will want what you have after he sees you sober and happy (happier?).

I had to sober up, I had too much to loose. My life was spinning out of control - it was insane. Maybe you are that way too? Sounds like you have a nice husband (even though he's a drinker) and a nice son. You sound like a real decent person too and well worth all your efforts to make an AA program work.

Just because it didn't work once, doesn't mean it couldn't work now.

Good luck. Come here to share your troubles and your success!
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