Stumbled
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Stumbled
I went about five weeks sober, then had a couple of drinks while out of town waiting on a to go order at the restaurant. Then I went another almost two weeks and drank the Friday and Saturday after thanksgiving. The Friday and Saturday was just enjoying the holiday time and watching ball games. I stopped at three beers Friday and had four Saturday and have not drank and have not felt a craving to since.
I know this is totally dangerous, but my AV tells me: "look, you are having a few beers and you quit early and before you even drank much, an occasional special time once a month or so is fine". I know it is a slippery slope, but I feel like I have used good discretion when I've drank and have a focus on the moderation. Before I quit in early October- I was drinking almost every single day, but not crazy amounts- but I was really ready for a drink everyday after work.
I am highly focused on not drinking again until Christmas, if I do that and stay consistent with not drinking excessively or on a nothing occasion, am in still being stupid?
I know this is totally dangerous, but my AV tells me: "look, you are having a few beers and you quit early and before you even drank much, an occasional special time once a month or so is fine". I know it is a slippery slope, but I feel like I have used good discretion when I've drank and have a focus on the moderation. Before I quit in early October- I was drinking almost every single day, but not crazy amounts- but I was really ready for a drink everyday after work.
I am highly focused on not drinking again until Christmas, if I do that and stay consistent with not drinking excessively or on a nothing occasion, am in still being stupid?
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Let's ask the resident expert on you what he thinks:
People who can drink normally don't have a voice in their head telling them they can.
Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere 
I've been looking around online for something like this. Like all alcoholics, I think my story is unique, but it isn't. I'm 44 years old, successful, great wife, kids, etc. I went through an ugly divorce about 7 years ago- wife started seeing someone at her work. Was always a regular drinker- started heavy drinking for about 3 mo when she left (a fifth or more every other day- 2- 1.75 liters a week). I did outpatient rehab, didn't drink at all for about 15 months. On a trip to Hawaii with girlfriend (current wife) I thought a couple of beers would be ok. That soon turned into beer every night. We got married and a few beers turned into me sneaking a couple of the 100ml "pocket rocket" jack Daniels a night. That has been going on for three years now. Wife knows at football games, etc I drink some whiskey, but she doesn't know of my daily trips to the liquor store on the way home for two and sometimes 3 pocket rockets. I think she is suspicious at times, but she just doesn't understand the world of an alcoholic. She is an occasional beer drinker.
I realized some time ago it makes no sense, I'm not drinking with buddies for the social aspect, and I am concerned my health and marriage is going to suffer- so I quit Sunday night. It has been mostly a matter of getting out of the habit with some craving and I noticed I've been sweating at night.
My biggest concern is I have a "high bottom" in that I am an alcoholic, but my life is otherwise in order, I'm not one to get hammered and make a fool of myself, etc. I go to bed at a decent hour so I won't feel as bad in the morning. I want to make this change, but since things have not gone to hell with my life- I'm concerned I will let my brain trick me into thinking it is ok to have a few drinks when the game is on etc and I'll soon be back in the same rut/ ditch again drinking everyday.
Anyone relate to this?
I realized some time ago it makes no sense, I'm not drinking with buddies for the social aspect, and I am concerned my health and marriage is going to suffer- so I quit Sunday night. It has been mostly a matter of getting out of the habit with some craving and I noticed I've been sweating at night.
My biggest concern is I have a "high bottom" in that I am an alcoholic, but my life is otherwise in order, I'm not one to get hammered and make a fool of myself, etc. I go to bed at a decent hour so I won't feel as bad in the morning. I want to make this change, but since things have not gone to hell with my life- I'm concerned I will let my brain trick me into thinking it is ok to have a few drinks when the game is on etc and I'll soon be back in the same rut/ ditch again drinking everyday.
Anyone relate to this?
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical
Let's ask the resident expert on you what he thinks:
People who can drink normally don't have a voice in their head telling them they can.
People who can drink normally don't have a voice in their head telling them they can.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
, if I do that and stay consistent with not drinking excessively or on a nothing occasion, am in still being stupid?
Read this thread you posted a couple of weeks ago and ask yourself if what you just posted makes any sense at all
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eflection.html
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Yup, your AV has you right where it wants you to be. You are now prepared to believe its lies and to begin to move slowly down the slippery slope, which is its goal.
I hope you decide to stop drinking for good and to recover.
I hope you decide to stop drinking for good and to recover.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
This occasional drinking could lead to this:
"On a trip to Hawaii with girlfriend (current wife) I thought a couple of beers would be ok. That soon turned into beer every night. We got married and a few beers turned into me sneaking a couple of the 100ml "pocket rocket" jack Daniels a night. That has been going on for three years now. Wife knows at football games, etc I drink some whiskey, but she doesn't know of my daily trips to the liquor store on the way home for two and sometimes 3 pocket rockets."
Who knows maybe you are one of the select few who can come back from drinking too much (as stated above) to having the willpower to drink every once in a while. But your past history might dictate otherwise. All of us (or at least 99.99%) can not do that. Thats why were are here. I'd say your AV is coming to the front, but that just my opinion.
"On a trip to Hawaii with girlfriend (current wife) I thought a couple of beers would be ok. That soon turned into beer every night. We got married and a few beers turned into me sneaking a couple of the 100ml "pocket rocket" jack Daniels a night. That has been going on for three years now. Wife knows at football games, etc I drink some whiskey, but she doesn't know of my daily trips to the liquor store on the way home for two and sometimes 3 pocket rockets."
Who knows maybe you are one of the select few who can come back from drinking too much (as stated above) to having the willpower to drink every once in a while. But your past history might dictate otherwise. All of us (or at least 99.99%) can not do that. Thats why were are here. I'd say your AV is coming to the front, but that just my opinion.
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Thanks for the feedback. There is no way I am here because I am "normal" of that I put myself through rehab 7 years ago, or that I fell back into drinking everyday, or would hide a bottle of liquor in the garage so my wife wouldn't know, or quickly throw back a beer when she wasnt looking, or would have set up activities around drinking, or actively make sure I had something available to drink every day, or have a father who is an alcoholic, etc etc etc.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Have you come clean yet to your wife? Does she know you are quitting? Or are you leaving that door open? If you've been sneaking for a long time anyway, you were lying to her and that behavior needs to be dealt with just as much as the drinking. For me the shame/guilt/self-loathing cycle is at the bottom of a lot of my self-destructive behaviors.
I would suggest you tell her you are quitting completely. Then you will have to look yourself and her in the eyes if you decide to backslide.
I would suggest you tell her you are quitting completely. Then you will have to look yourself and her in the eyes if you decide to backslide.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
There is no way I am here because I am "normal"
But please re-read your your original post. You ARE asking if it's OK for you to do things that only a "normal" drinker can do. For example, you said
I know it is a slippery slope, but I feel like I have used good discretion when I've drank and have a focus on the moderation
You are specifically saying here that you feel your recent "moderation" was successful and implying that you'll be able to do that in the future.
You cannot have it both ways. Either you are an alcoholic or you are not. That's what you need to decide.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
Thanks for the feedback. There is no way I am here because I am "normal" of that I put myself through rehab 7 years ago, or that I fell back into drinking everyday, or would hide a bottle of liquor in the garage so my wife wouldn't know, or quickly throw back a beer when she wasnt looking, or would have set up activities around drinking, or actively make sure I had something available to drink every day, or have a father who is an alcoholic, etc etc etc.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Social drinkers do not drink alcoholically or limit there drinks to prevent them having to much ,they can leave behind an unfinished drink or sometimes ''untouched '' drinks . They can get up in the morning and have breakfast , they don' t conceal alcohol to sneak a drink in there workplace , they do not lie and cheat to cover up behavior . They don't plan there next drink or try and stay away from it in certain situations , most can take it or leave it . Just saying ?
Regards .
Stevie
Regards .
Stevie
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I never told her I was quitting. I just told her I was tired of the daily grind of drinking for no good reason. She knew I drank pretty much everyday 2-3 beers. But she didn't know I was supplementing it most days with a couple of swigs off a hidden bottle as well. She has been real happy with me and is apparently just glad I'm not drinking like I was. She drank two of the beers I had Friday at lunch with me. She doesn't understand about addiction in that casual drinking is not an option for someone like me. She just views it that I've only drank three times over the last couple of months and that is great.
In hindsight, I am certain I did not tell her back in early October that I was quitting for good because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it in case I failed.
In hindsight, I am certain I did not tell her back in early October that I was quitting for good because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it in case I failed.
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Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
I never told her I was quitting. I just told her I was tired of the daily grind of drinking for no good reason. She knew I drank pretty much everyday 2-3 beers. But she didn't know I was supplementing it most days with a couple of swigs off a hidden bottle as well. She has been real happy with me and is apparently just glad I'm not drinking like I was. She drank two of the beers I had Friday at lunch with me. She doesn't understand about addiction in that casual drinking is not an option for someone like me. She just views it that I've only drank three times over the last couple of months and that is great.
In hindsight, I am certain I did not tell her back in early October that I was quitting for good because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it in case I failed.
In hindsight, I am certain I did not tell her back in early October that I was quitting for good because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it in case I failed.
The bottom line right now though is that you need to be honest with yourself about your drinking. It is certainly within the realm of possiblity that you aren't an alcoholic, but as you mention you've been through rehab and spend time here on a sobriety forum. You've also exhibited lots of alcoholic tendencies over the years just like most of us did. And quite frankly you are exhibiting some right now today...grasping at the possibility that you can now somehow simply "moderate" and drink whenever you choose. It's a very common issue and we've all been there.
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Originally Posted by KidsEverywhere
In hindsight, I am certain I did not tell her back in early October that I was quitting for good because I wasn't.
Why, do you suppose, drinking is so very important to you to keep doing?
I had to ask myself that question. I hate the answer, but it's better to know.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
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Originally Posted by jryan19982
In no way was I being critical of you. Im sorry if it sounded like that. What I said had more to do about me, and my battles with my AV that told me I could have a few here and there. That lead to drinking every night and doing something that I totally regret now.
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Do you want to stop for good ? or defend your recent drinking pattern , do you think its OK because you never hid it ? you really need to toss a coin and ask yourself '' what type of guy do I want to be ? '' decent reliable trustworthy sober husband and father ? or a guy who continues to act and behave like you have been knowing it will get a lot worse ? heads or tails .
Regards .
Stevie.
Regards .
Stevie.
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I appreciate everyone's feedback. I think what this all boils down to is the common notion that we can somehow moderate. It makes no sense because we have no trackrecord of it, and fall into not moderating real quickly. I didn't drink for 15 months, drank while on vacation and came back and was drinking virtually everyday again.
I think we cling to the things that someone seem to distinguish ourselves as different and therefore, able to control it- for me that is the fact I didn't get hammered. Well, great. I never got hammered much, but I would walk through fire if I had to in order to get my 3-4 drinks every night.
My point is, I'm not the same as everyone who has a drinking problem- and I am no different either.
Thanks everyone for getting me off the wrong track and you all have helped push my resolve to get/ stay in the right place- away from drinking altogether.
I think we cling to the things that someone seem to distinguish ourselves as different and therefore, able to control it- for me that is the fact I didn't get hammered. Well, great. I never got hammered much, but I would walk through fire if I had to in order to get my 3-4 drinks every night.
My point is, I'm not the same as everyone who has a drinking problem- and I am no different either.
Thanks everyone for getting me off the wrong track and you all have helped push my resolve to get/ stay in the right place- away from drinking altogether.
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Hi Kids Everywhere , your not like other problem drinkers ? heard a humorous story about an Irish guy who died cos of cirrhosis of the liver . Graveside one mourner says to the widow '' Sheila do you not think Seamus should have went to that Alcoholics Anonymous '' Sheila replies '' Oh for Gods sake women he wasn't that bad '' .
Alcoholism is progressive it gets worse and worse , we do something for the1st time n feel a little bit ashamed and say never again , then we do it again and then we find someone worse and say well I am not as bad as him cos if I ever reach that state ? I will stop , then given enough time and booze we do the action we said we would never do , we sometimes say '' oh that can happen to anybody , we justify our behavior and carry on till the next low point that we said we would never do until we hit our own ''personal ''gutter '' its ALL DOWNHILL'' it NEVER gets better . take care and think about it from your 1st ever drink progressing to the present day .
Stevie
Alcoholism is progressive it gets worse and worse , we do something for the1st time n feel a little bit ashamed and say never again , then we do it again and then we find someone worse and say well I am not as bad as him cos if I ever reach that state ? I will stop , then given enough time and booze we do the action we said we would never do , we sometimes say '' oh that can happen to anybody , we justify our behavior and carry on till the next low point that we said we would never do until we hit our own ''personal ''gutter '' its ALL DOWNHILL'' it NEVER gets better . take care and think about it from your 1st ever drink progressing to the present day .
Stevie
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