Leaving Tomm for Florida
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Leaving Tomm for Florida
Just me again. Very excited that I'm going to Florida, tommorrow for 2 weeks. This will give me the opportunity to think without any interference from my ah.
Speaking of my ah, he came home from the business last night. I was there today, but couldn't do the deposit because there wasn't enough cash to make it. My ah stated he had taken some from the register, but will have it back tommorrow. I said, I'll go tommorrow and finish the deposit. He said fine.
When my ah came home that night, he said I can make the deposit for you tommorrow so you can spend the day packing. I said great, but please bring my computer home b/c, I'm taking it with me to Florida. Well he flipped out. My ah stated that's the business computer!!! I replied, that was my computer, I paid for it, not the business, and no one uses it but me, so it would just be sitting there for 2 weeks, so I'm taking it.
Of course, then all the name calling began. My ah then informed me he was closing the business to drive me to the airport. I told him that was a decision we should be making together, and he should have
told me!!! My flight leaves at 8AM, he would be back in the business by 9:30, no reason to close. I then told him I didn't want him to drive me, I'll find another ride. Awful night!!!
Well my ah isn't home, drinking at the business. Wouldn't you think he'd at least want to be here the night before I fly. My ah called me. I asked when did he think he'd be home m. He was very drunk, said I don't need to tell you, when j feel like it. Why would j want to come home to a wife that will torture me.
Last night was awful, but my ah picked the fight. I am just so sick of his verbal abuse, I wasn't very nice!!!
I guess this is his way of paying me back.
I hope he if he comes home, he gets a DWI!! Maybe that will wake him up.
Just so sad, a 60 yr old man, who's the boss drinking with a 28 yr old. There us nothing right about that situation!!!
Speaking of my ah, he came home from the business last night. I was there today, but couldn't do the deposit because there wasn't enough cash to make it. My ah stated he had taken some from the register, but will have it back tommorrow. I said, I'll go tommorrow and finish the deposit. He said fine.
When my ah came home that night, he said I can make the deposit for you tommorrow so you can spend the day packing. I said great, but please bring my computer home b/c, I'm taking it with me to Florida. Well he flipped out. My ah stated that's the business computer!!! I replied, that was my computer, I paid for it, not the business, and no one uses it but me, so it would just be sitting there for 2 weeks, so I'm taking it.
Of course, then all the name calling began. My ah then informed me he was closing the business to drive me to the airport. I told him that was a decision we should be making together, and he should have
told me!!! My flight leaves at 8AM, he would be back in the business by 9:30, no reason to close. I then told him I didn't want him to drive me, I'll find another ride. Awful night!!!
Well my ah isn't home, drinking at the business. Wouldn't you think he'd at least want to be here the night before I fly. My ah called me. I asked when did he think he'd be home m. He was very drunk, said I don't need to tell you, when j feel like it. Why would j want to come home to a wife that will torture me.
Last night was awful, but my ah picked the fight. I am just so sick of his verbal abuse, I wasn't very nice!!!
I guess this is his way of paying me back.
I hope he if he comes home, he gets a DWI!! Maybe that will wake him up.
Just so sad, a 60 yr old man, who's the boss drinking with a 28 yr old. There us nothing right about that situation!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Sorry Z, give him to God to watch over.
Detach and go and have an awesome time in Florida. Try as much as no contact as possible, so he won't ruin your day.!!
Hugs my friend and bring some sun tan lotion, I just got back from there!!
Detach and go and have an awesome time in Florida. Try as much as no contact as possible, so he won't ruin your day.!!
Hugs my friend and bring some sun tan lotion, I just got back from there!!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
What makes you think a DWI would wake him up? Look, he has no interest in quitting drinking. This will continue exactly as it has been, and you will continue to have a front-row seat for it, as long as you are willing to tolerate it.
The fact that he drinks with a 28-year-old is only because the 28-year-old is drinking too and there are no 50- or 60-year-olds to drink with. Otherwise, he'd probably be drinking with them. It's the drinking that is the problem, not the 28-year-old. And if he were gone he'd either be drinking by himself, drinking in a bar, or drinking at home.
Do you see a pattern here?
Have a great time in Florida, and don't you dare call him to see if he's at the office drinking or at home.
The fact that he drinks with a 28-year-old is only because the 28-year-old is drinking too and there are no 50- or 60-year-olds to drink with. Otherwise, he'd probably be drinking with them. It's the drinking that is the problem, not the 28-year-old. And if he were gone he'd either be drinking by himself, drinking in a bar, or drinking at home.
Do you see a pattern here?
Have a great time in Florida, and don't you dare call him to see if he's at the office drinking or at home.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i am glad you get time away...but i strongly suspect the "business" will be in bad bad shape by the time you get back. he already took $$ out of the register and then offered to "make the deposit" for you. i hope you have funds that he cannot touch and have a plan. be prepared.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Zircon, your life must be so aggravating right now.
You're still uselessly engaging with him. Instead of arguing about the computer, just take it. Of course that means a trip into the business, but better than a fruitless argument.
Did you really expect him to be at home with you when drinking is the alternative? It might pay to lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed.
I wonder if the business is dependent on him? If you can go out on your own, even in competition, or alternately buy him out? Just a thought because he's not contributing much to it now, in fact it seems he's costing you. It might also make your personal life a bit more bearable. Just a thought as I know it's a huge step, but I can't see you lasting forever with him weighing you down, and it might pay to plan ahead.
Enjoy your break. It will give you some peace to gain perspective, plus a bit of warmth.
You're still uselessly engaging with him. Instead of arguing about the computer, just take it. Of course that means a trip into the business, but better than a fruitless argument.
Did you really expect him to be at home with you when drinking is the alternative? It might pay to lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed.
I wonder if the business is dependent on him? If you can go out on your own, even in competition, or alternately buy him out? Just a thought because he's not contributing much to it now, in fact it seems he's costing you. It might also make your personal life a bit more bearable. Just a thought as I know it's a huge step, but I can't see you lasting forever with him weighing you down, and it might pay to plan ahead.
Enjoy your break. It will give you some peace to gain perspective, plus a bit of warmth.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Safe travels Zircon !
One thought that often helped me check my expectations is that my H treated his beer like his true wife. It came before me. It sounds like it also comes ahead of his responsibilities in running a business too?
I found Dr. Garrett's articles very helpful in re-aligning my thoughts and behaviors to better match the state my H was in with his alcoholism.
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
Enjoy the peace of being away!
One thought that often helped me check my expectations is that my H treated his beer like his true wife. It came before me. It sounds like it also comes ahead of his responsibilities in running a business too?
I found Dr. Garrett's articles very helpful in re-aligning my thoughts and behaviors to better match the state my H was in with his alcoholism.
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
Enjoy the peace of being away!
Last edited by CodeJob; 12-02-2015 at 04:26 AM. Reason: Sp
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