Worried75

Have been drinking for the past year to cheer myself up (I know)
Have just come out of a difficult relationship - very hot and cold. Started drinking at lunchtime and then in the evenings as well to "cope" - now I can't stop

Last Friday has a flirty conversation via instant messenger with a work colleague. I would never harass someone or put pressure on them - but the conversation did cross the line of professionalism

I apologised via email on Sunday - today she I had to message her again and she said "please stop sending me messages"

Then later I went to get the lift - she was in it - she just closed the doors in my face

I don't blame her - it was inappropriate what I did - but I did it drunk - was so shocked at what I had done made me realise I think I have a problem

Anyway have a meeting in an hour - if nothing else this has been a wake up call for me

I don't know if she will make a complaint - if she does I will surely lose my job - but is her right and I don't blame her at all

Just wanted to get that off my chest

Anna

Unfortunately alcohol is a depressant, so it's not going to cheer you up for more than a few minutes. I'm sorry this work issue happened, but clearly you crossed the line for her and scared her. The best thing to come out of this would be recognizing that you have a problem. Do you want to stop drinking today? See this as a positive step in the right direction.

Worried75

I do realise I did wrong - was drunk

I would never harass someone - it really isn't me - but yes I crossed the line

Have an aa meeting at 7.30 - will be my first - keep doing things when I'm drunk that cause me problems - hate waking up and having to apologise to people

Anna

Sadly that's the situation for many of us here. When we drink, we do things we regret and it begins a downward spiral which is hard to get out of. We do understand how hard this is. I'm glad you posted and that you are seeking support to stop drinking.

Ruby2

What's done is done. You've apologized. That's all you can do for the moment. Apologizing more would put you further over the line into harassment/stalker territory. Let the dust settle and work on yourself.

Do you want help to quit drinking? Doesn't sound like it's doing much for you other than bringing you down. Stick around for a bit and welcome to SR.

Worried75

Thank you - yes I do want to stop


Isn't the first stupid thing I've done - just never thought of it as a problem before - it seems to have crept up on me - but I don't want it to ruin my life

newhope01

That is partly why the disease of alcoholism is so insidious. It creeps up on us like a cloud and before we know it, we have become alcoholic.

I dont think anyone wakes up one day and says, "I think I want to become an alcoholic." However, alcoholism is progressive and if you don't do something now to stop it will only get much worse.

Worried75

Should I say anything at the meeting - or just listen?
Sorry that sounds pathetic but I have never been before and an nervous

ZeldaFan

Almost exactly what I was about to type.

newhope01

You can just listen if you want. You can also share anything you feel comfortable with at the meeting. It is entirely up to you.

Expect some hugs and warm welcomes though.

Worried75

I'm actually a little scared is in 40 mins - just feels scary

ReadyAtLast

Though I'm female I can relate to the situation you are in. I've been so drunk at work functions and said and done so many inappropriate things.waking up the next morning that cold fear and dread which comes over me when I realize what I did or said.

one of the best things about sobriety is the peace of mind that it brings. I never wake up in the morning and wait for those horrendous memories to come back. I know that whatever I said or did was done with clarity.

You can't change what's been done, Hopefully the dust will settle soon. Def don't apologize again though as this could be deemed stalker behaviour. keep a low profile and work on you. you don't have to be in this position ever again.

Berrybean

You will have the opportunity to introduce yourself (first name is fine).
There is different kinds of talking in meetings: (a)talking in the actual meeting itself, addressing the whole room. I did do this on my first meeting, but there were only between 5 and 10 people there. Most people don't choose to in their first meeting - some people never seem to actually - not for years! (Although that's a bit unusual as well). (b) Chatting before and after the meeting and in the break. This is valuable stuff and a chance to get to know people, and for them to give you telephone numbers and tell you about other meetings in the area that they go to, and may be useful for you.

Good luck at the meeting - let us know how you get on

PS Most people are scared going into their first meeting - just remember, everyone there knows what you're going through because they've had to do it as well.

saoutchik

I hope your meeting went OK this evening Worried

Dee74

Welcome to SR Worried. I'm glad you found us

D

Worried75

Was a nice meeting - am going to try to not drink tomorrow - will see how it goes - there is another meeting on Friday that I will go to

JD

Glad the meeting went well. But there is no such thing as trying to not drink. You either do or you don't. Just choose don't.

Wastinglife

I can certainly relate to regretful electronic communications while under the influence. I only seem to want to message people when im drinking and its always of the cringe-worthy variety. I'm sure i've been un-friended on FB by many people but I dont bother to really check. Im sure many people here have similar experiences.

Worried75

Have now deleted all social media for the same reason :-(

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Worried!!

All you can do is draw a line under it and move forward, learn from it and realise you never have to feel or go through this ever again, if you don't want to!!