utterlybroken

This months circle reached a semicircular point, honeymoon period lasted a day instead of 12. Today I feel like a deflating helium balloon caught in a slight whisp, zig zaging instead of the usual frantic thud to earth. No more shell shock, it hasnt tumbled for a while, instead, I feel the slow motion play, the numbness is definitely easier to cope with.

He chose drink over me. Ive had no answer, but in my heart I know. Ive finally 'hit the bottom" Today, he was told, I know he'll already be sourcing the next emotional contact not anyone in particular but a few. Ive seen it before. If he loves me he'll chose us. He wont. He won't no matter how much I want it. Today it doesnt hurt. I thanked him for letting me love him even if it was for a short time. I got nothing. Will get nothing. It hurts but not as bad as it has. Xx

Scott834

I felt like my wife was choosing alcohol over me and the family but she wasn't doing that in her head. She did not, could not see the pain her drinking caused and keep drinking. She told herself a lot of things to make it ok. She knew it wasn't really ok but the thing in her brain would make her want to drink more than anything.

It is a disease as much as it is hard to understand that much less accept that.

I have found as I understand this and let it go, I feel better.

I am so sorry for what you are going through, i know it is painful.

Txhelp

I know the pain and still living it. It's a process of letting go; trying to get them out of our head (constant); and living a life that I am proud of.....

It will take time and grieving is a part of that....