seek

This forum is specifically for family members. Parents, Sons and Daughters, Siblings, etc... This forum will be a safe place to discuss the unique issues we face when having an addicted family member.


I have participated on these boards for awhile. The other alcoholism support forum is overrun by people in RELATIONSHIP to alcoholics.

This new board says (per above), it was created for RELATIVES of alcoholics, but all of a sudden it is being inundated by people in RELATIONSHIP to alcoholics.

seek

This is the forum where people in RELATIONSHIP post (and before the new forum was created, family members posted there and I guess still can, since it's in the title . . .

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

LexieCat

There's a lot of crossover posting all around the forum. We get people dealing with drug addiction in the alcoholism forums and vice-versa.

People can post wherever they want to. Sometimes it's helpful to tell a newcomer there's another forum that might have more ESH along the lines of their situation, but we should never make someone feel unwelcome or feel bad about posting in the "wrong" place.

Addiction and alcoholism, whether it's in a partner or a family member or someone else we are close to, brings a lot of similar problems to the non-alcoholics/addicts in their lives, and many of the solutions (healthy detachment, good boundaries) are similar, as well.

seek

If it doesn't matter where a person posts, there should not be any distinct categories.

The only reason I brought it up is because in the "Friends and Families" forum, it was 95% couples - this new forum was created for families, specifically.

SparkleKitty

I think a lot of newcomers find this site through Google searches and, desperate for help, don't even know which forum they have posted in the first time. Most who stick around will figure it out eventually, and I imagine many who do stick around do so because they have been made to feel welcome, wherever they land.

seek

Yes - that's probably true - it's really a moot point, as few family members post in this forum on a regular basis anyway.

Scott834

In your definition of family, you listed parents, sons and daughters, siblings, etc. Then mention that people in relationships are posting in here. I take it that you mean to not include husbands and wives in here. I saw family and thought spouses were family. If that was not your intention of this particular forum, I will post in the friends and family forum.

biminiblue

Scott, you are welcome to post wherever you want. It's a pretty complicated forum, and you'll find support and understanding wherever you post. I agree with you that spouses are family.

seek

Scott: That was not my definition - I just copied and pasted what the title of the forum says.

It makes no difference to me where anyone posts - I was just feeling bad that I was not getting support in a forum that had been set up for relatives.

You were actually one of the only people who responded to me, so I am grateful you stopped by! Thank you!

AnvilheadII

if you go back and read your posts over time and the responses, you might see that you tend to reject just about everything that is suggested....which is fine but it leaves little for others to share regarding ES&H. and now you are trying to ENFORCE a specific definition and exclusive membership criteria to a specific forum, because you feel it is OVERRUN with those in relationships with alcoholics. it might not be the forum......................

seek

Yeah. I was waiting for that. I was trying to control the uncontrollable.

As far as "ES&H" - there MUST be some people who resonate with material OTHER than 12 Step - this thread is not a "12 Step" thread, per se, although most people who gravitate here must be on that specific wavelength.

I am just looking for some people who might resonate with me - nothing too diabolical about that.

JOIE12

Is there any input from ADMIN ?

I agree that people can post where they wish. Everyone has info that can be helpful. If we touch someone who is looking for help, isn't that why we are here ?

tomsteve

i was hoping someone would ask that.
This forum is specifically for family members. Parents, Sons and Daughters, Siblings, ETC...

i read a whole lot of ES&H that isnt 12 step related in replies to your threads,seek.

looking for people who might resonate with you.....hhhmmm.... on what topic?

Morning Glory

Sometimes I get busy and can't read everything. I usually look at a post and see if they have already posted in the other forums. If they haven't and it's the first post I will usually move to the other forum if it concerns a spouse, etc... If they have already posted in the other family forums I will leave it here. The forums are not meant to separate members. The different forums just give members a choice. Hopefully we can welcome new members and point them to where they will get the most help.

alterity

What does ES&H stand for?

SparkleKitty

Experience, Strength & Hope.

Opivotal

Experience, strength and hope.

JOIE12

Most people will cross post and this can be helpful in obtaining a varying range of shares. Some here may feel that it is only for parents, siblings, sons, daughters ... as is shown at the top. I am the exwife of a deceased alcoholic. I am the ex gf of a deceased heroin addict. I am the aunt of a deceased pill addict. I do not fall into those categories but truly hope that anyone can find help in any of my shares ... keeps me coming back.

Morning Glory ... thank you for all that you do here. I for one appreciate it
hugs to you, Joie

CodeJob

Hello Seek,

I am concerned about you. You dismiss a lot of suggestions on your previous posts. I think a fair number of SR users might be passing by your threads because the usual routes to recovery you have either already tried or dismissed. Calling out spouses for writing in this section is a cry for help perhaps? We all have ESH and the most active group on F&F is spouses and partners at this moment. Why are you dismissing such a huge swathe of ESH?

Your writings on SR make it appear that you want special snowflake status. But your name here is Seek, so that isnt congruent. By dismissing the usual avenues to recovery, you seem to want to be stuck where you are. But that is not the definition of a seeker. My suspicion is your pain is so caught up in your identity, that you don't know who Seek is if you work on truly letting that go. You are afraid.

So I can only implore you to find yourself an advocate. You deserve one. You, Seek, have the value and worth of a lovely soul that deserves to feel at peace. At some level, you are pushing away those who can help you - your counselor, your doctor?, your pastor?, a sponsor? You need to reach out rather than withdraw.

I have faith you can find the help you need. Be well Seek. Work towards peace, even if it seems scary.

Carlotta

I am in similar circumstances Joie.
I am the X of a deceased alcoholic, I am the niece of a deceased alcoholic/pill addict and I am the daughter of a deceased alcoholic and the granddaughter of a deceased alcoholic. I am also no contact with one of my dearest friend who is a crack addict (my only qualifier who is still alive).
I am also an alcoholic.
I am currently rebuilding a relationship with my codependent mother after years of estrangement. Life for me these days is pretty good and like you I don't really fit one category but I share wherever I feel my experience can benefit others.