Talz

Four months down the drain...

I went from July 02, till sometime in very late October (not sure exactly). I let a friend convince me to drink with him in late October and it was a terrible mistake. It didn't feel as good as I remembered, and all we did is argue. An outrageous hangover later, I managed to stay sober for a few weeks after. I'm not sure when it swung back into full on chaos, but bit by bit I've ended up exactly where I started.

Yesterday I didn't have anything much to do (actually that's not true, there's plenty I could have been doing if I was in any way mature or responsible) so I thought I'd just have a few mixed drinks and watch a movie, but I ended up blacking out in the middle of the afternoon and texting/Facebooking idiotic **** to people in some cases I haven't spoken to in years.

I got half a 60 of vodka left, and I think if it doesn't end up down the drain this is never going to end. I already got a buzz going today, I haven't even gotten dressed, my place is a mess and I was supposed to be in class... Yeah, I'm right back where I started...

I know it's common, but I feel pretty sad right now. No one to blame but myself though. v.v

biminiblue

Pouring it out sounds like the best idea you've got.

Start over. Eat some food, drink a lot of water and go to bed. Tomorrow make a plan. I know you want to get well, and you deserve it.

Lance40

It sounds like you have more reasons than ever to get sober, so you can start again right now. The best thing to do is dump the vodka down the sink. Have a shower, get dressed and drink a lot of water so you can stay hydrated. If you feel up to it, clean up your place. Get some food down and get a good night's rest. You'll be on track for a day of sobriety tomorrow.

It won't get better; it will only get worse. I hope you are able to stop now.

Coldfusion

You can pour more of your life down the drain or pour the vodka down the drain.

Read around and post a bit--it helps!

Wastinglife

I spent countless days in a vodka-induced stupor facebooking, texting, and drunk-dialling people. Of course, I was certain at the time that all my friends, ex-gf's, and acquaintances wanted to hear my words of wisdom. I keep wondering why my friend count on facebook has steadily declined over the years.....hmmmm.

Talz

Thanks guys. I poured it all, plus the drink I was currently working on.

It feels like a waste of money, but whatever. Needs to be done.

biminiblue

Well done Talz. You won't be sorry.

applecake

Good job, Talz!

Hevyn

Talz, I went through this a few times. I don't know why I expected it would ever have a different ending. Each time it was in my system it led to chaos. Sometimes we need further proof that it means to ruin our lives. Proud of you for posting and dumping the poison.

Anna

Talz, you know what you need to do and it sounds like you're ready to do it.

Don't let the sad feelings take you down any further. You can do this!

thomas11

Great work. Now if you can try and get some food in you and hopefully some decent sleep, you'll spring back in no time.

ZeldaFan

Talz, been there before. I had almost 7 months awhile back and then I let it slip away. Slowly but surely, I ended right back where I was. Then, one day, I had enough and started sobriety again. Saw my doctor. and started reading up on drinking and got back on here. It happens so don't beat yourself up too much. Glad to hear you got rid of the rest of the booze. Now it's time to dust yourself off and get back at it. You can do this!

Dee74

good decision Talz

D

Talz

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the support, it helps to be reminded that countless other people deal with this too.

Tomorrow I'll make myself get up early and actually go to school for a change. :P After that I'll try and get in to see my doctor, and make an appointment at the addictions and mental health center.

sorrysoul

I understand how your feeling Talz, tho my addiction isn't alcohol.

Great job on pouring it down the drain! That in itself takes a lot of strength.

I wish you well and hope you can find peace.

Soberwolf

Good stuff Talz

Talz

Well, energy has been super low no matter how much coffee I drink. :P I can't put off cleaning any longer though as there's gonna be an inspection in my building tomorrow. v.v

Soberwolf

You got this Talz break the cleaning down room by room were rootin for you all the way bud

Talz

Thanks, got a lot done around the house. Big victory today when I went to my friends birthday dinner (who is a party animal) and was able to stay sober despite the crippling social anxiety, and skipped the after party.

Soberwolf

Good stuff Talz