Diying doing what you love
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: LBC, CA
Posts: 203
Diying doing what you love
In Mexican culture there is a response when you eat or drink something that is unhealthy for you: I am going to die any way, at least I will die doing what I love!
My friend who is an alcoholic brought that up today as he we were talking. He said, "my girl don't understand that I need to drink even just a couple a day. I have a lot of stress and anxiety and I drink and it all goes away. I have to go home and lie to her about not having a couple right now because she would trip if I told her. I told the doctor the other day, 'my dream is to be buzzed enough everyday.' That is all I want. If I die drinking, I don't want people to be sad! I want them to be happy because I died doing what I loved! If I die from sex, I did what I loved. If I die from eating unhealthy things, I ate what I loved. If I die drinking, I drank what I loved."
It made me think: that is true. I did what I loved.
After this post I am stepping away from the forums. You guys are great but I am not sure of what I want. If you need to reach me personal message me. I will be lurking around or responding to none drinking post. But I won't mingle with you guys that are doing your best to stop as I have nothing to say about that.
My best to you all.
My friend who is an alcoholic brought that up today as he we were talking. He said, "my girl don't understand that I need to drink even just a couple a day. I have a lot of stress and anxiety and I drink and it all goes away. I have to go home and lie to her about not having a couple right now because she would trip if I told her. I told the doctor the other day, 'my dream is to be buzzed enough everyday.' That is all I want. If I die drinking, I don't want people to be sad! I want them to be happy because I died doing what I loved! If I die from sex, I did what I loved. If I die from eating unhealthy things, I ate what I loved. If I die drinking, I drank what I loved."
It made me think: that is true. I did what I loved.
After this post I am stepping away from the forums. You guys are great but I am not sure of what I want. If you need to reach me personal message me. I will be lurking around or responding to none drinking post. But I won't mingle with you guys that are doing your best to stop as I have nothing to say about that.
My best to you all.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
I also loved drinking because it melted my anxiety away, however it was hurting myself and everyone around me. There is more to life then your love to the drink. Today I would much rather deal with stress and anxiety in a healthy way and have the love of my family and friends than selfishly drinking my life away.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
If you really loved drinking, you would not have come here in the first place GWTF.
That's just AV BS and if you look back at some of your posts here you'll see I'm right,
There's no romance in slowly killing yourself, and no pleasure in knowing you've settled for something less than you could be.
I decided I could be the man I wanted to be, or drink...but not both.
Best wishes, but don't screw up your 20s and 30s like I did, man.
If you ultimately decide to leave, know that the door is always open here for a return.
D
That's just AV BS and if you look back at some of your posts here you'll see I'm right,
There's no romance in slowly killing yourself, and no pleasure in knowing you've settled for something less than you could be.
I decided I could be the man I wanted to be, or drink...but not both.
Best wishes, but don't screw up your 20s and 30s like I did, man.
If you ultimately decide to leave, know that the door is always open here for a return.
D
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
GWTF,
-if your friend is an A, as you say, he's not limiting himself to two drinks a day.
-If his wife is against his drinking then he has harmed the family. He is not the only victim, just a selfish A.
- dying from over drinking is a nasty progressive decline. It's usually not the pretty picture of having a beer after work then dropping dead. And premature death (or slow suicide) affects those left behind too.
- You love drinking because you're addicted, and it feeds the chemical and psychological craving. You can fall out of love with drinking, live a healthy life, and do your duty by your loved ones.
-if your friend is an A, as you say, he's not limiting himself to two drinks a day.
-If his wife is against his drinking then he has harmed the family. He is not the only victim, just a selfish A.
- dying from over drinking is a nasty progressive decline. It's usually not the pretty picture of having a beer after work then dropping dead. And premature death (or slow suicide) affects those left behind too.
- You love drinking because you're addicted, and it feeds the chemical and psychological craving. You can fall out of love with drinking, live a healthy life, and do your duty by your loved ones.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
So I just have to say this. Have you ever seen someone die from drinking...aka alcoholism? Not the catastrophic death.....a car accident or actual overdose, but an alcoholic death? I don't have statistics but most don't die sitting on a beach, margarita in hand, or riding off into the sunset after a shot of whiskey at the saloon. It's slow. It's horrible. And I've seen it, am seeing it. And it destroys those that have to witness it.
I don't really understand your post and I am most definitely not trying to be hurtful. But when entertaining death, understand the reality of it. Alcoholism also contributes greatly to many horrible cancers. Have you seen someone die of cancer? I have. My husband. It took a year and 9 months.
Your friend is a delusional alcoholic. Nothing cool or happy about that.
I don't really understand your post and I am most definitely not trying to be hurtful. But when entertaining death, understand the reality of it. Alcoholism also contributes greatly to many horrible cancers. Have you seen someone die of cancer? I have. My husband. It took a year and 9 months.
Your friend is a delusional alcoholic. Nothing cool or happy about that.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
One of the biggest surprises sobriety gave me was how much I "loved" alcohol. Turns out alot of it was just b.s. I was telling myself. -and I see people do it all the time now.
I think of the phrase "empty calories" as an analogy. Empty calories have no nutritional value. Just something you can stuff in your face to try to fill a bottomless void, to ill effect.
I remember just enough about the good times drinking to know all that giggling and "I love you man" shite was EMPTY. None of it meant anything the day after.
I think of the phrase "empty calories" as an analogy. Empty calories have no nutritional value. Just something you can stuff in your face to try to fill a bottomless void, to ill effect.
I remember just enough about the good times drinking to know all that giggling and "I love you man" shite was EMPTY. None of it meant anything the day after.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Sorry to say that this is extremely twisted thinking. I'm almost embarrassed that I need to point out that there's a significant difference between dying while doing something that you love and dying as a result of doing what you love.
When I know that doing what I claim to love elevates the probability that I'll die as a result of doing it, either in an horrific or a slow and painful way, while destroying everything that's dear to me in life, including living a good life, and I continue to do it, then all I'm doing is running away from life and never discovering what I truly love in the process. I don't see this at all as a matter of debate or perspective other than in some undiscovered parallel and utterly fatalistic universe.
Why do anything at all if I'm going to kill myself anyway?
An alcoholic in search for an excuse to drink is an unlovely creature. No matter how intense, indulging in despair and desperation is not living.
We always have the freedom to choose.
When I know that doing what I claim to love elevates the probability that I'll die as a result of doing it, either in an horrific or a slow and painful way, while destroying everything that's dear to me in life, including living a good life, and I continue to do it, then all I'm doing is running away from life and never discovering what I truly love in the process. I don't see this at all as a matter of debate or perspective other than in some undiscovered parallel and utterly fatalistic universe.
Why do anything at all if I'm going to kill myself anyway?
An alcoholic in search for an excuse to drink is an unlovely creature. No matter how intense, indulging in despair and desperation is not living.
We always have the freedom to choose.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
"At least he died doing what he loved (ALHDDWHL)" ranks right up there with "you only live once (YOLO)" as one of the most popular logical fallacies and justifications for bad choices out there. Have you ever heard a good decision supported by "come on, you only live once?" Come on, let's go to the library and study tonight, you only live once! Yeah, I didn't think so. It's invariably used to support short-term pleasures at the expense of long-term well-being. And what is ironic is that if you do only live once, do you really want to live the life which results from shortcuts and poor decisions? I frequently see ALHDDWHL stated when somebody dies from some ultra reckless sport like diving from cliffs wearing a wingsuit, where you are basically playing Russian Roulette. Never mind that the jumper had a wife and child at home or parents that spent decades raising him. I guess it's nicer than saying what a selfish and foolish way to go.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I'm glad you changed your mind.
I know it's hard to dissociate yourself from drinking when it's been a major part of your life, and of who you are.
I'm guessing it might even have a part to play for you in ideas about being a man?
I was so wrapped up in that foolishness it took me much much longer than it should have to quit
In the end, you need to stand tall and own your decision Be smart and stay quit now - noone ever said 'gee I wish I'd drunk some more' but lots of us here wish we'd stopped way before we did
D
I know it's hard to dissociate yourself from drinking when it's been a major part of your life, and of who you are.
I'm guessing it might even have a part to play for you in ideas about being a man?
I was so wrapped up in that foolishness it took me much much longer than it should have to quit
In the end, you need to stand tall and own your decision Be smart and stay quit now - noone ever said 'gee I wish I'd drunk some more' but lots of us here wish we'd stopped way before we did
D
Last edited by Dee74; 11-23-2015 at 11:17 PM.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
GWTF, so great to see you responded..sobriety is worth it, please don't let a clique sway your resolve.
While I was reading your initial post I was thinking your friend sounds like the alcohol is do the walking, talking and thinking for him...IMO, he sounded beyond hedonistic, foolish and self indulgent.
If he loses "His Girl"due to the betrayal of her trust, will he say, "Oh well. I lost her doing what I love."
That is the problem with cliques, there is no thinking involved. Just statements that can be lazily used to justify certain behaviours.
The toll alcoholism takes on us, our society and loved ones is awful. .....and certainly not worth dying for.
While I was reading your initial post I was thinking your friend sounds like the alcohol is do the walking, talking and thinking for him...IMO, he sounded beyond hedonistic, foolish and self indulgent.
If he loses "His Girl"due to the betrayal of her trust, will he say, "Oh well. I lost her doing what I love."
That is the problem with cliques, there is no thinking involved. Just statements that can be lazily used to justify certain behaviours.
The toll alcoholism takes on us, our society and loved ones is awful. .....and certainly not worth dying for.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: LBC, CA
Posts: 203
It was a moment of weakness or complete stupidity. I really was going to quit on quitting... I was wrong and you guys helped me see it. Love you guys for taking the time to write to me whether it came from anger or love, thanks. You helped out a perfectly good stranger.
I really wish I could get to meet and know all of you but we hide behind our names because the world doesn't like us. Know that I would love to meet you and know you but this will do.
My love and thanks.
I really wish I could get to meet and know all of you but we hide behind our names because the world doesn't like us. Know that I would love to meet you and know you but this will do.
My love and thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
When a police officer is killed in the line of duty, or a fire fighter dies tackling a house fire, and the tributes say they died doing what they love, it moves me deeply. My admiration knows no bounds for them, and know it must be at least some consolation for their families as they grieve their loss.
When an alcoholic dies a long, slow agonising death of cirrhosis of the liver, or in a car crash that kills someone else's friend, parent, or child as well, and people say they died doing what they love, I feel something very, very different.
I'm glad you've not allowed yourself to be completely seduced by what are very romantic words to justify a reality that's a far, far cry from the delusion they're peddling.
When an alcoholic dies a long, slow agonising death of cirrhosis of the liver, or in a car crash that kills someone else's friend, parent, or child as well, and people say they died doing what they love, I feel something very, very different.
I'm glad you've not allowed yourself to be completely seduced by what are very romantic words to justify a reality that's a far, far cry from the delusion they're peddling.
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