The Language of Letting Go, November 23

Old 11-23-2015, 05:56 AM
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The Language of Letting Go, November 23

NOVEMBER 23

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Healthy Sexuality

Many areas of our life need healing.

One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our codependency.

Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love - for others or ourselves.

Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors - compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.

Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual codependency: not paying attention to what we wanted, or didn't want, sexually; allowing ourselves to get involved sexually because it was what the other person wanted; shutting off our sexuality along with our other feelings; denying ourselves healthy enjoyment of ourselves as sexual beings.

Our sexuality is a part of ourselves that deserves healing attention and energy. It is a part of us that we can allow to become connected to the whole of us; it is a part of us that we can stop being ashamed of.

It is okay and healthy to allow our sexual energy to open up and become healed. It is connected to our creativity and to our heart. We do not have to allow our sexual energy to control our relationships or us. We can establish and maintain healthy, appropriate boundaries around our sexuality. We can discover what that means in our life.

We can enjoy the gift of being human beings who have been given the gift of sexual energy, without abusing or discounting that gift.

Today I will begin to integrate my sexuality into the rest of my personality. Higher Power, help me let go of my fears and shame around my sexuality. Show me the issues I need to face concerning my sexuality. Help me open myself to healing in that area of my life.

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Old 11-23-2015, 06:03 AM
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Some of us were sexually abused as children.
That would be a yes, and directly connected to the next thing:

For some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love - for others or ourselves.
And since sex was something to be used, then it led to this part:

Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual codependency: not paying attention to what we wanted, or didn't want, sexually.
Having run around in circles on that little track from the age of about 12 to maybe somewhere in my early 50s (don't even know for sure when the last time was, and haven't much cared, honestly), I'm here:

Our sexual energy may be blocked.
And honestly, this is soooo far down on my list of concerns. Maybe if I was younger, I'd care more? Maybe in a different situation, it would matter? All I know is that it's not even on my radar, not even a blip.
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Old 11-23-2015, 10:00 AM
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I'm right there with you on this one. Being a survivor of SA has been a big factor in my teen/YA/adult relationship behavior. I never learned about having appropriate or healthy boundaries in that regard. I learned that sex was a weapon and also something secret and shameful. I learned that I existed for the pleasure of others. I learned from the people who were supposed to be protecting me that the things that had happened to me on their watch were my fault and meant that I was a "bad girl" and unworthy of real love.
And I'm also with you on the whole "blocked sexual energy" thing. I've fulfilled my biological destiny, and my sexuality is so twisted up with shame and fear and weirdness that it might take me another lifetime to untangle those emotions.
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