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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Oklahoma
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Back To Curly
As a child growing up until the past year I never knew the texture of my hair, due to having straightening chemicals applied from a young age. It was one of those things I never thought about. It was understood in my culture that if you didn't have what was considered "good hair," you should alter it. I found later that part of learning to love and accept myself was to know who I am. As months went by I cut a little of the straightened hair off until a year later I was presented with my real hair...curly! Hence the name CurlyGirl.
That was just a small symbol of how important it was for me to discover who I am, unaltered. I'm not against straightening hair, it's just what my personal journey consisted of.
After that, then it came time to discover who I am without alcohol. My first couple of times trying to quit I was angry and felt that I became a boring person. A person who lacked energy and vibrancy. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I could no longer rely on the effects of alcohol to make me a social flower. I went back to what seemed to make me "the person to be around," alcohol. What's funny is the friends I thought I was making during my alcohol abuse have all been run off by my behavior. This last whack at sobriety is a real treat as I am learning about myself, what makes me laugh like a child, what I detest, what my goals are, what kind of friends I attract, what my boundaries are, all kinds of stuff. I am embracing this new person, and I'm noticing that I have become a person that people like to be around by just being me.
That was just a small symbol of how important it was for me to discover who I am, unaltered. I'm not against straightening hair, it's just what my personal journey consisted of.
After that, then it came time to discover who I am without alcohol. My first couple of times trying to quit I was angry and felt that I became a boring person. A person who lacked energy and vibrancy. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I could no longer rely on the effects of alcohol to make me a social flower. I went back to what seemed to make me "the person to be around," alcohol. What's funny is the friends I thought I was making during my alcohol abuse have all been run off by my behavior. This last whack at sobriety is a real treat as I am learning about myself, what makes me laugh like a child, what I detest, what my goals are, what kind of friends I attract, what my boundaries are, all kinds of stuff. I am embracing this new person, and I'm noticing that I have become a person that people like to be around by just being me.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Great post, Curly. Finding the real me and feeling comfortable in my own skin has been the biggest struggle for me in sobriety. It is definitely a journey. At 4 months sober, I'm finally starting to feel better about who I am as a sober person.
Sounds like you're doing great, Curly. Happy for you!
Dlfin
Sounds like you're doing great, Curly. Happy for you!
Dlfin
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
Well...my head shape looks better than the pepper color and receding hairline so I did what Bruce Willis did (except mature, make a lot of money and divorce when it was clear it weren't working). Congrats CG!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Good for you, CurlyGirl! 
I too am a wavy/curly girl and can remember my mother and stepmother trying to "fix" my hair growing up. It was called "messy" and "unruly." My mom even made fun of it. When I was in high school, my last year, I decided to stop straightening, and just let it go ... people were pretty astounded at the result. I got some compliments for the first time! Hair seems to always look better in its natural state So, today, in my 30's I don't color it, and I mostly wear it curly.
I too am a wavy/curly girl and can remember my mother and stepmother trying to "fix" my hair growing up. It was called "messy" and "unruly." My mom even made fun of it. When I was in high school, my last year, I decided to stop straightening, and just let it go ... people were pretty astounded at the result. I got some compliments for the first time! Hair seems to always look better in its natural state So, today, in my 30's I don't color it, and I mostly wear it curly.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi CG - know what you mean. I have always, since early teens worn heavy make-up, and had a very specific 'style' which I felt was 'me' and that I needed to keep it maintained. At times pretty much else in my life had slipped (or subsided) but right to the end I still made sure that I was in full camouflage (make-up) and not a (dyed) hair out of place.
Since getting sober and embarking on my journey of recovery I have realised that this is what I DID - not who I was / am. My hair and make up is now much more subdued and natural. Occasionally people will say they 'miss' seeing me dressed up, but I no longer feel that I own it to anyone to look any particular way. I am who I am, and I'll look how I look. There's more important things to worry about in my day now And I'm much happier for it.
Since getting sober and embarking on my journey of recovery I have realised that this is what I DID - not who I was / am. My hair and make up is now much more subdued and natural. Occasionally people will say they 'miss' seeing me dressed up, but I no longer feel that I own it to anyone to look any particular way. I am who I am, and I'll look how I look. There's more important things to worry about in my day now
And I'm much happier for it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 268
I am so glad that many of you could relate whether it was hair, makeup, or simply being expected to be someone you're not. I believe the more self discovery you embark, the more self appreciation you'll develop, and the more fulfilling your life will be!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by CurlyGirl1978 
As a child growing up until the past year I never knew the texture of my hair, due to having straightening chemicals applied from a young age. It was one of those things I never thought about. It was understood in my culture that if you didn't have what was considered "good hair," you should alter it. I found later that part of learning to love and accept myself was to know who I am. As months went by I cut a little of the straightened hair off until a year later I was presented with my real hair...curly! Hence the name CurlyGirl.
That was just a small symbol of how important it was for me to discover who I am, unaltered. I'm not against straightening hair, it's just what my personal journey consisted of.
After that, then it came time to discover who I am without alcohol. My first couple of times trying to quit I was angry and felt that I became a boring person. A person who lacked energy and vibrancy. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I could no longer rely on the effects of alcohol to make me a social flower. I went back to what seemed to make me "the person to be around," alcohol. What's funny is the friends I thought I was making during my alcohol abuse have all been run off by my behavior. This last whack at sobriety is a real treat as I am learning about myself, what makes me laugh like a child, what I detest, what my goals are, what kind of friends I attract, what my boundaries are, all kinds of stuff. I am embracing this new person, and I'm noticing that I have become a person that people like to be around by just being me.
That was just a small symbol of how important it was for me to discover who I am, unaltered. I'm not against straightening hair, it's just what my personal journey consisted of.
After that, then it came time to discover who I am without alcohol. My first couple of times trying to quit I was angry and felt that I became a boring person. A person who lacked energy and vibrancy. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I could no longer rely on the effects of alcohol to make me a social flower. I went back to what seemed to make me "the person to be around," alcohol. What's funny is the friends I thought I was making during my alcohol abuse have all been run off by my behavior. This last whack at sobriety is a real treat as I am learning about myself, what makes me laugh like a child, what I detest, what my goals are, what kind of friends I attract, what my boundaries are, all kinds of stuff. I am embracing this new person, and I'm noticing that I have become a person that people like to be around by just being me.
Have a great day CG XO
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