I am living proof that you can change your life.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 485
I am living proof that you can change your life.
This post might come across as dramatic but I don't care today because it is dramatic what is happening to me.
I woke up this morning feeling so grateful that I found this board 7 years ago when I was a very miserable and traumatized woman. It took me years to really take the advice I received here, but when I found this place it was the first time I had spoken to another person who understood what kind of chaos I was living in and how afraid I was. I couldn't have told anyone in my life at that time, not even my family, how bad it was.
My husband is a periodic binge drinker who becomes aggressive and violent when drunk. The final straw came in March of 2014 when he put his hand around my neck and pushed me up against a wall. I left and never went back. I moved into a one bedroom apartment with my two little boys. I was depressed and sad and terrified that I was going to worsen his drinking and he would die and it would be my fault that my kids didn't have a father. I ended up having a 2-hour each way commute for nearly a year. It was a rough time.
Here I am, months later. I am living in a beautiful coastal town. My husband's (soon-to-be-ex) drinking is nearly non-existent. The kids are happy. I'm happy. My husband and I are amicable. I have a job that I LOVE where I met a girl my age who is now one of my closest friends. I'm surrounded there by supportive, awesome people. I feel like the universe has opened to me. The extra weight I had on is falling off. People keep telling me I'm glowing. Men are interested in me (including a very handsome fireman haha) but I am no longer looking for love to make me happy. I am building a full life and I'm not waiting by the phone like the old me.
Yesterday, I went to see my father in rehab. My mom finally took him in for his pain pill addiction and yesterday was his fourth day. I went in and saw my strong daddy sit there and admit that he is an addict. I watched 40 men of all ages support my dad and talk about their addictions and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. My mom and sister and I for the first time in years, talked about our feelings. We cried and cried and it was hard, but a weight has been lifted. We are going to give our children a chance to not live this cycle.
None of this would have happened if I hadn't found this board. That is a fact.
THANK you. Others who are miserable, I promise you it can get better. Make one change. Don't be afraid, it can't get any worse than it is now.
I woke up this morning feeling so grateful that I found this board 7 years ago when I was a very miserable and traumatized woman. It took me years to really take the advice I received here, but when I found this place it was the first time I had spoken to another person who understood what kind of chaos I was living in and how afraid I was. I couldn't have told anyone in my life at that time, not even my family, how bad it was.
My husband is a periodic binge drinker who becomes aggressive and violent when drunk. The final straw came in March of 2014 when he put his hand around my neck and pushed me up against a wall. I left and never went back. I moved into a one bedroom apartment with my two little boys. I was depressed and sad and terrified that I was going to worsen his drinking and he would die and it would be my fault that my kids didn't have a father. I ended up having a 2-hour each way commute for nearly a year. It was a rough time.
Here I am, months later. I am living in a beautiful coastal town. My husband's (soon-to-be-ex) drinking is nearly non-existent. The kids are happy. I'm happy. My husband and I are amicable. I have a job that I LOVE where I met a girl my age who is now one of my closest friends. I'm surrounded there by supportive, awesome people. I feel like the universe has opened to me. The extra weight I had on is falling off. People keep telling me I'm glowing. Men are interested in me (including a very handsome fireman haha) but I am no longer looking for love to make me happy. I am building a full life and I'm not waiting by the phone like the old me.
Yesterday, I went to see my father in rehab. My mom finally took him in for his pain pill addiction and yesterday was his fourth day. I went in and saw my strong daddy sit there and admit that he is an addict. I watched 40 men of all ages support my dad and talk about their addictions and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. My mom and sister and I for the first time in years, talked about our feelings. We cried and cried and it was hard, but a weight has been lifted. We are going to give our children a chance to not live this cycle.
None of this would have happened if I hadn't found this board. That is a fact.
THANK you. Others who are miserable, I promise you it can get better. Make one change. Don't be afraid, it can't get any worse than it is now.
Wow that is the best news. I was really concerned for you with that long commute but it was worth it in the end. Your parents are fantastic support aren't they?
Interesting that your tough response could force your husband to sobriety, and I hope it lasts. You can have years of talking, but taking action is sometimes the only thing they understand.
Interesting that your tough response could force your husband to sobriety, and I hope it lasts. You can have years of talking, but taking action is sometimes the only thing they understand.
I don't think it's our actions that "force" someone to do anything. Plenty of people here have done the same thing with zero effect on the alcoholic's drinking. I have seen people who were essentially ready to be done with it respond to the prospect of losing their family or relationship. It was maybe what shook them up and got them moving, but if they don't have their own internal desire it doesn't last for long.
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