THippy

AH was gone all last week for work. He did come home for one evening. The week was peaceful and quiet.
On Thursday I went to my second Alanon meeting. This one was the one for beginners, the one I drove to a month ago but left without going in. I wish I had gone in!!! This one was so much better than the first one I did go to. And I'll be returning every week. The reading from One Day at a Time broke through my month long fog. For the past month all I've done is read, listen, study, watch every thing Alanon that I could get my hands on. You'd think I was studying for my Masters degree in it. And I did pretty much nothing else. At all. So that message of first things first really hit home. And almost every person who shared at that meeting seemed to say something that I needed to hear. So I woke up and started tending to my life again on Friday, with an allotted time for Alanon study. It felt great! Energizing!
Yesterday was a game day, morning game again. (I can't wait for the season to be over!) so I made a plan for the day and my kids and I went out all day and just had a great time together.
There is still sadness that he doesn't want to be a part of our fun family days. And there is some worry about how the future will unfold. Will I be able to accept a life without the kind of love and marriage that I had hoped for? But for the most part, I'm doing pretty well at just staying in today, as it is.

FeelingGreat

Hi T, wonderful to read such a positive post, and that you found Al-anon so helpful. Your family days sound like fun and it is a pity he won't participate. You're concentrating on things you can control and I'm sure the kids will benefit from the easing of tension.

honeypig

THippy, it's amazing how different it can feel at different Alanon meetings, isn't it? I'm glad you found one that feels good.

It sounds like you're learning a lot, and even more important, you're putting it into action. Good for you. I wish you strength and clarity as you move along your path.

slowclimb

Lol....that same reading hit me similarly. I also had a pretty good weekend. Practice and game yesterday for DS, clinic today for DD. DS is already bathed, homework done, saxophone practiced. DD is slaving over homework - rather crankily but I'm detaching hehehe...being empathetic - am going to offer up some ice cream soon.

But honestly I have also been reading and have made 3 meetings in the past week and half. The whole staying in today and taking care of first things first (to the best of my ability) has been helping me immensely. I went for a walk today and started future tripping on some issues my dad is facing and was able to reign them in and put them aside as things are ok for now and I have other priorities at the moment.

I even had some motivation to do the floors and stairs.

THippy

I'm glad you're having some peace too, slowclimb.
I've been thinking of you.

slowclimb

Thanks - I've been reading a lot - posting sporadically. Glad we are both finding and using tools that work. Trying to get enough sleep, decent food and taking a walk help me a lot too.