Fly N Buy

Ran into myself today, from not long ago. I thought, wow - I look bad. Bloated, bleary eyed, red faced with a pervasive sickly smell of vodka and Marlboros.

I looked at old me and thought of giving myself some advice, but I was certain I wouldn't listen. Old me was having a hard time focusing, poor guy - and I wasn't certain he recognized me anyhow.

I took a chance - Hey, old me......listen up! You're a drunk and need help. You have done enough harm, don't you think it's time? You promised us one day you'd stop, remember?

Aw.......go away new me. You're just a self righteous arse and no fun anymore. You're boring and plainfully uninteresting. Go hang out with the tea and crumpet crowd - leave me alone.

Old me, listen - there is a better life out there. One filled more with joy, purpose and hope than ever imagined! It's not boring at all, it's amazingly diverse with opportunity, peace and freedom. You'll feel so much better, your health will improve and others will smile at you, once again. A light will be reflected in others eyes - It's not too late to change old me........you can do this???

I hugged old me and we both had tears in our eyes - ok, he whispered - I will try today. I don't know about tomorrow, but I'll try today.........I told him that would be good enough for now..



If you ran into old you, what would ya tell them!?!

Soberwolf

Excellent thread I too have thought about this


I run into old me's all the time the first time it happened I was on a plastering course and there was this guy well dressed just out of prison it was one lunchtime the subject of alcohol came up

I said yeah I'm a sober alcoholic (cue the record scratch & where to look faces lol)

They asked loads of questions knowing I was serious about what I was saying a couple things happened over the 2 weeks I was there

One guy said I'm alcoholic still drinking I can't be as open as you I said you don't have to be open (the seed was sown... I hope)

Another guy started talking about how bad the amount of money he spent on his 'alcohol tab' & that because of what I had said he isn't prepared to carry on like that (this is all true btw & I genuinely hope he happier not spending as much or at least not thinking of spending so much on alcohol)

Another guy said I'm proberly alcoholic I drink a lot (il be honest he kinda said this laughing again I hope he's well)

The last guy the one out of prison he said do you really think it helps (he meant AA as I spoke about that to him personally) I said is alcohol your demon ? he replied everything but he said alcohol gets him into trouble

So I gave him my mobile number & told him il come with you to a meeting he was like yeah definitely

The meeting we were supposed to go to didn't materilise but he kept phoning and I said if it helps phone me anytime & when your ready we can go

He asked for meeting info in his area (my course was around 20 miles away) so I sent him tons of meeting info & hes now part of AA

All from me not being anonymous and saying im a sober alcoholic... i told my sponser who i could tell didnt agree with my reveal but was genuinly happy at the ripple effect it had

Thats 5000% true all of it Fly

So what would i say to the old me well first id introduce myself & then id say SR is a fantastic site for support glad you found us

Nearly everyone i meet who is an alcoholic & looking for support is the old me

bradly22

I'd tell me: "Don't listen to the advice that others give you. You don't need twelve step, you don't need counseling. You need to do things your way."

Carver

"Being sober isn't as scary or as boring as you think. It's going to be ok."

tursiops999

I talked with someone this morning very much like the old me. Among other things, I told her...

I get that you're angry and afraid, and you're worried how bad things will feel if you stay sober. When I faced my anger and fear, I found it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and now I am free from it. I have a way of living that keeps me free. And I'm not alone anymore. And I couldn't have found this freedom without some help.

Venecia

Old Me: Something has to change.

New Me: Yes, you've known that for a long time now.

Old Me: I'm scared. I don't think I can quit.

New Me: Yes, you can.

Old Me: But I still love wine (right?). Can I have one from time to time?

New Me: Get a clue, sweet cheeks. You love this? Take a look in the mirror.

Old Me: Ouch. But I deserve one from time to time, right?

New Me: You deserve better.

Old Me: Will it be hard?

New Me: Yes, but your life now is much harder.

Old Me: So I just stop?

New Me: Well, yes and no. Yes, you just stop. Put a stake in the ground. You will no longer drink.

Old Me: You said "yes and no." Explain, please.

New Me: The work doesn't end when you stop drinking.

Old Me: Oh oh.

New Me: You filled a void with alcohol. Then the addiction took over. You still have to figure out what to do about the void.

Old Me: That sounds hard.

New Me: It's not easy. There's help available. Go to soberrecovery.com.

Old Me: I'm pretty much out of excuses, aren't I?

New Me: It's time.

Two years, three months and one week later.

Old Me: I'm not the same person anymore. Old Me is gone. Thank heavens. Thank you, New Me.

New Me: You're welcome. Keep living.

strategery

I was thinking a lot about this today. On one hand, I think I'd give myself a big hug. I can remember where I was at a year ago. Sometimes I get sad thinking that was me and the space I was in mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

On the other hand, I'd let myself know that it was possible to get to the other side. That I can have a life without alcohol being at the forefront of what I thought was fun and that it was possible to have a life that was richer and better without alcohol in it. I'd also let myself know that a good majority of the stress I was dealing with, was due to alcohol. Also the hair problems and not being able to lose weight, all due to alcohol. I'd also let myself know that without the alcohol, the self-confidence comes back and that I'd never have to be embarrassed or ashamed after drinking again. Nor would I have to watch another Intervention episode wondering why I couldn't get sober. It was all within my power with the help of SR.

I still remember reading Revival by Stephen King. I thought the main character was so lucky to be able to have the obsession with their DOC removed. I wished I had something like that at the time since I was 4 months sober. However, over the past several months, the obsession has been removed. I look at alcohol now and just shrug since I don't want it. It no longer holds any power nor does it have the allure it once had.

zombob

I would say "attaboy!, you're doing exactly what it takes to get Here!"

SportsFan15

^^^^^^Now THIS, is freaking AWESOME soberwolf!!!

SportsFan15

I'd hug the old me and say:

"You are worthy of love. Stop hurting yourself. Heal the hurt inside. You deserve sobriety and freedom!"

leviathan

This is something I've thought about many times. The first problem would be that the old me was extremely keen in sensing any type of recovery or "cutting back" talk. I had a whole bag of tricks including disappearance, redirection, projection and creative rationalization.

IF I COULD get an audience with the old me, I'd tell him "if you quit, it will revolutionize your whole life. When you drop this weight you've been carrying around, its gonna feel like life is dropping blessings in your lap. Your best drug experience EVER is going to be giving them up. It's gonna defy your imagination. -and, oh yeah, I got up at 7am today laughing and joking around. How you feelin?"

Carpathia

Honestly, at this point in sobriety, I'd tell old me it's no cake walk.

You're going to feel like crap. You're going to be tested over and over again. You're going to realize the alcohol helped you tolerate how poorly you cope with life. You're going to attend meetings where you'll hear people talk about how amazing their lives have become and you'll wonder if they're selling you a line. You'll find you can't do some of the things you used to love. You'll find the world triggers you and you can no longer drink to keep from exploding. You'll wish you could lie to yourself like you used to do when you were drinking. You'll see the cellar you climbed out of is multi-leveled and you don't know what level you're currently on. You'll keep going to meetings and applying the principles of the program hoping eventually to emerge into a better way of living, but sometimes you'll really just want to say f-it, I want to go back.

It is a strange juncture for this alcoholic, being sober, awake and lucid, but still lacking the appropriate coping and interpersonal skills that, I imagine, make recovery worthwhile. One day at a time.....

MelindaFlowers

You never have to be hungover again.........ever.

People truly won't care that you don't drink alcohol. Not even a little bit.

Carpathia

Addendum to my previous spew.

I would also say to old me:

Keep plugging along your journey.

It may be simple, and now you understand it's not easy.

It's definitely not fun.

It's necessary. If you stay teachable and rigorously honest with yourself, better days will dawn. Also, keep in mind that others went along a similar path as you and if they were able to get through it, so can you. Keep your chin up!

badger257

I'm only on day 6, so it's still early on. But it would be: " hey jack a**, you could really use that 500 bucks you spent on your last week's bender! "

SereneEdition

To old me: Honey, stop drinking. You know you're a shadow of yourself and things need to change. Yeah, all the things that you wanted from life but seemed out of your reach....It's just the alcohol standing in your way. But what you don't know is:

You'll start loving yourself, connect with friends, family, and those who love you, meet your future husband, start to REALLY live rather than survive, and find daily happiness living in shame.

And Yes, you CAN do this even though you failed to keep your daily process for 5 years that 'I will not drink today.' And that day is today.

Soberwolf

This thread is INCREDIBLE

alphaomega

That I will never ever ever reach my life's potential if I continue to choose alcohol.

You will never know what you can do. Never know what you came here to do.

Fly N Buy

As I read both your insightful posts I thought of the second (oft forgotten/overlooked)part of the serenity pray - the third line - Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.....

Many feel exactly as you do!

Thanks for the great contribution to our thread......I have to always remember to not be too hard on myself - be fair and even handed, perhaps

Soberwolf

Venecia you know I already think your awesome but this was poetry lady

Fly awesome post aswell btw & excellent idea on making this thread