Trying.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 3
Trying.
Hello all. I've always been the type to scroll through forums instead of posting but I am in dier need of advice. I'm seeking help with my addiction to alcohol and drugs today. I'm only eighteen but alcohol has taken a toll on my life since I was fourteen. I drank to be social but it quickly turned into a everyday occurrence mixed with drugs. At the end of June this year I overdosed. I was in the hospital for eleven days. A month or so before my last overdose I did it again but it wasn't as serious. I'm trying my hardest to be a man for my girlfriend and take this head on but it's so hard and I feel as if no one understands it. I don't drink everyday anymore but when I do I can't stop. I start doing things I wouldn't since I've been hospitalized like do drugs as I'm intoxicated. Driving drunk. Being out all night. I just would like some words of wisdom on how other people have tackled this problem. How they become fathers for the kids, husbands for there wifes and stop what is ruining there life. I am striving to be that and I know it starts with me. I just don't know how to start this journey...
Thanks
Thanks
Last edited by DuffNPuff; 11-19-2015 at 11:00 PM. Reason: Grammar
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome DuffandPuff.
In the end I had to accept that I could be the man I wanted to be...or I can drink - but not both.
Drinking turned m,e into someone I didn;t want to be, so I made the choice not to drink.
Looking back now, it was a simple choice - not easy for a while - but simple - and I'm glad everyday I made it.
Unfortunately I didn't make my choice until I was 40 so you're streets ahead of me.
There's a ton of support here for the tough times - glad you posted
D
In the end I had to accept that I could be the man I wanted to be...or I can drink - but not both.
Drinking turned m,e into someone I didn;t want to be, so I made the choice not to drink.
Looking back now, it was a simple choice - not easy for a while - but simple - and I'm glad everyday I made it.
Unfortunately I didn't make my choice until I was 40 so you're streets ahead of me.
There's a ton of support here for the tough times - glad you posted
D
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Welcome DuffnPuff. As Dee said, it's pretty simple but it's definitely not easy. There's a lot of support here you just need to stop using and lean on the support. You're still young but you're showing a lot of maturity. I'm also much older than you and wish I had the wisdom and foresight you do.
But, I'm guessing being young also makes it harder to stop using. You're surrounded by people your age, many who aren't thinking ahead to what all the using can lead to. Find people who don't use and hang around them. You'll probably have to give up current friends and find new ones. And we're always here for support. Good luck!
But, I'm guessing being young also makes it harder to stop using. You're surrounded by people your age, many who aren't thinking ahead to what all the using can lead to. Find people who don't use and hang around them. You'll probably have to give up current friends and find new ones. And we're always here for support. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi DuffnPuff, you sound like a pretty smart young man, and have admirable goals for yourself regarding being a man to your girlfriend and a good father to your children. It also sounds like you fit the definition of an addict. Addicts have two simple choices in life, one is to live in their addiction and be miserable and probably die, or prepare for the fight of your life and kick the addiction(s). I hope you choose the latter. This site is all I have used to help me, and it worked. I read here EVERY DAY. I recommend it. Keep us posted and I wish you the best.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, Duff!
You can get off this elevator that only goes down anytime you want and have a life far better than this.
Read what others are doing so you can come up with a plan of action for yourself. You may need to make adjustments along the way until you figure out what works for you, but stopping this downward ride almost always involves more than just not drinking.
My drinking started at 14 and I first sobered up at 21. I had to change my thinking and my attitude towards life. I lasted a long time sober until I took it for granted and stopped doing those things that were keeping me that way. Then I found out that drinking again after all those years was not any better than it was the first time.
I came back because I know that what I was doing before worked for me and I wanted my sober life back.
Best wishes to you. Stick around!
You can get off this elevator that only goes down anytime you want and have a life far better than this.
Read what others are doing so you can come up with a plan of action for yourself. You may need to make adjustments along the way until you figure out what works for you, but stopping this downward ride almost always involves more than just not drinking.
My drinking started at 14 and I first sobered up at 21. I had to change my thinking and my attitude towards life. I lasted a long time sober until I took it for granted and stopped doing those things that were keeping me that way. Then I found out that drinking again after all those years was not any better than it was the first time.
I came back because I know that what I was doing before worked for me and I wanted my sober life back.
Best wishes to you. Stick around!
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Hello. I am a young man who got sober when I was 23, and am 25 now. I can relate to trying to get sober when I was 18 because I was charged with my first OWI at that age. I went asked to go to AA and IOP from the courts. I had my friends sign my AA attendance sheets and convinced my doctors to prescribe me RX meds so I was never really sober at IOP. Bottom line, I just wasn't ready. One thing that kept me going was that I hung out with other drug addicts. The people i surrounded myself with didn't have a positive influence on my life. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Stay honest with yourself. You may have to drop some of your old friends and surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. I know someone in the AA program who has been sober since he was 17 and now has a wife and kids at 30. So it can be done. Have you considered AA? Message me on here if ya ever want to chat.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Take time please -- to read this simple book
Originally Posted by DuffNPuff 
I just don't know how to start this journey...
Thanks
Mountainman
Alcoholics Anonymous- Big Book 4th Edition
The fourth edition includes twenty-four new stories that provide contemporary sharing for newcomers seeking recovery from alcoholism in A.A. during the early years of the 21st century. Sixteen stories are retained from the third edition, including the "Pioneers of A.A." section, which helps the reader remain linked to A.A.'s historic roots, and shows how early members applied this simple but profound program that helps alcoholics get sober today. Approximately 21 million copies of the first three editions of "Alcoholics Anonymous" have been distributed. It is expected that the new fourth edition will play its part in passing on A.A.'s basic message of recovery. This fourth edition has been approved by the General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the hope that many more may be led toward recovery by reading its explanation of the A.A. program and its varied examples of personal experiences which demonstrate that the A.A. program works. - See more at: Alcoholics Anonymous - Big Book 4th Edition (Alcoholics Anonymous) | Used Books from Thrift Books
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
I made a lot of choices when I was drinking or high. None of them were any good.
I drove drunk/high.
I picked up my kids from daycare/school drunk/high.
I watched my kids when my wife was gone drunk/high (what if something had happened to them and I was passed out?).
I didnt care about what my family was doing because I was drunk/hgih.
I was only concerned about my next puff or pull from a bottle.
I was distant, uncaring, unappreciative etc.
But I never got a DUI, never got questioned if I was drunk/high at family times, or picking kids up etc. Never went to the hospital etc, so I thought I was fine.
But then one day, I realized I needed to man up before I seriously effed up myself, my kids, my wife, my friends or someone I didnt know. It took me a while to realize that I was walking down a path that I couldnt easily get out of. I wasnt a bad father or husband because I beat my kids or wife, mentally abused them etc. One day I noticed my daughter was distant to me and I thought about why. Well it was because I was distant as well. If I was home alone with her, the TV would be one, I would be on the computer doing whatever, making a TV dinner and not really saying anything to each other. She was watching TV so she was occupied and I didnt care because I wanted to drink and get high.
I am glad I realized this. I am glad that I have been able to correct this. I am glad that my daughter seems to want to interact more with me but all is not to the point I want it to be yet. I couldnt back pedal fast enough, and am still trying to come back from those days. But the best I can do is to keep on doing what I am doing and hopefully some day soon it will all get better.
I drove drunk/high.
I picked up my kids from daycare/school drunk/high.
I watched my kids when my wife was gone drunk/high (what if something had happened to them and I was passed out?).
I didnt care about what my family was doing because I was drunk/hgih.
I was only concerned about my next puff or pull from a bottle.
I was distant, uncaring, unappreciative etc.
But I never got a DUI, never got questioned if I was drunk/high at family times, or picking kids up etc. Never went to the hospital etc, so I thought I was fine.
But then one day, I realized I needed to man up before I seriously effed up myself, my kids, my wife, my friends or someone I didnt know. It took me a while to realize that I was walking down a path that I couldnt easily get out of. I wasnt a bad father or husband because I beat my kids or wife, mentally abused them etc. One day I noticed my daughter was distant to me and I thought about why. Well it was because I was distant as well. If I was home alone with her, the TV would be one, I would be on the computer doing whatever, making a TV dinner and not really saying anything to each other. She was watching TV so she was occupied and I didnt care because I wanted to drink and get high.
I am glad I realized this. I am glad that I have been able to correct this. I am glad that my daughter seems to want to interact more with me but all is not to the point I want it to be yet. I couldnt back pedal fast enough, and am still trying to come back from those days. But the best I can do is to keep on doing what I am doing and hopefully some day soon it will all get better.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
I'm so glad you decided to post and seek support.
You are 18 and you have your life ahead of you. You have an opportunity to make your life be the way you want it to be. You can stop drinking and be the person you want to be.
I'm so glad you decided to post and seek support.
You are 18 and you have your life ahead of you. You have an opportunity to make your life be the way you want it to be. You can stop drinking and be the person you want to be.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 3
Thank you all.
Thank you all for the support and references. It's been three days since I've done anything. I feel as if it's getting out of my system a little bit. Temptation was strong last night but I figured out why my heart was hurting, I believe. High blood pressure and I think I pulled a muscle in my bicep, going through my chest if that makes since. Right over the heart. I just have to keep trucking through this and all the motivation helps. Sorry for taking so long to reply.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya duff! im very glad ya seeing the problem and looking for solutions at your age.
"I just would like some words of wisdom on how other people have tackled this problem. How they become fathers for the kids, husbands for there wifes and stop what is ruining there life. I am striving to be that and I know it starts with me. I just don't know how to start this journey..."
for me it was through the program and fellowship of alcoholics anonymous. the program helped me get rid of baggage i was carrying around for a long time- got to the underlying issues alcohol and drugs were a symptom of- cleared away my wreckage, gave me peace and serenity, and removed the problem with both alcohol and drugs. the fellowship helped me learn how to live life.
an added benefit is seeing young people(and of any age) come in, get and stay sober, and become active, productive members of society.
"I just would like some words of wisdom on how other people have tackled this problem. How they become fathers for the kids, husbands for there wifes and stop what is ruining there life. I am striving to be that and I know it starts with me. I just don't know how to start this journey..."
for me it was through the program and fellowship of alcoholics anonymous. the program helped me get rid of baggage i was carrying around for a long time- got to the underlying issues alcohol and drugs were a symptom of- cleared away my wreckage, gave me peace and serenity, and removed the problem with both alcohol and drugs. the fellowship helped me learn how to live life.
an added benefit is seeing young people(and of any age) come in, get and stay sober, and become active, productive members of society.
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