Butterfly

I'm due to meet my stbxah on Monday with both our legal teams to try and sort out all the finances. My solicitor rang me on Monday to request further financial documentation that his solicitor has requested and explainations for amounts of money that have been paid into my account since he walked out. Yet his solicitors haven't submitted his financial documents because according to them they have had them but haven't been able to copy them and forward them onto my solicitor!!!!!!

Stbxah response to my petition for unreasonable behaviour was to suggest that we wait until March 2016 when we will be separated for 2 years then he can submit another petition to the court for divorce. Still wanting everything on his terms!!! I don't think he wants his first petition to be submitted to a judge, which was all lies!!

My solicitor told me this on Monday and I did have a bit of an emotional breakdown, feeling very stressed at the minute especially with work so this on top of it just felt too much. I know it was just getting hold of a few months financial documents but it's all the hassle of arranging it on top of everything else. Anyway I rang my friend had a good cry and rant and have been able to think a bit more clearly.

His solicitor are using delay tactics they have had plenty of time to go through all my financial information before Monday but we haven't even had his!! I feel that I'm going in on Monday unprepared. I'm going to speak to my solicitor today about rescheduling it, if she feels that she won't have time to go through it all, if they've even sent it yet!!

I did tell my solicitor on Monday that I wouldn't accept his offer of him submitting another petition in March and I wanted to proceed under mine. She has applied to the court for a hearing for the decree nisi?!

I feel he's still trying to control everything, have the divorce on his terms, but I will not wait about for him to submit his petition when he's ready. It took me a long time to come to terms with the cross petition and I submitted it when I felt strong enough. I will not back down, I may not be feeling great at the minute but I am going to take control of this and will no longer let him control me or anything else and especially not the divorce!!

Thank you for reading

FeelingGreat

Hi Butterfly, great to hear from you again, and sounding strong too. Divorce is such a frustrating pain, especially when one party isn't playing ball. It will be over one day, and it's worth lowering your expectations so you won't get too frustrated.
It take it the meeting isn't a court sponsored one, in which case re-scheduling might be a good idea. However even if you don't have the documents you need, it might move things along.
How are things with the kids? Is your DD behaving herself?

Butterfly

Thanks feelinggreat. I'm still faking it until I make it lol but definitely feel stronger about the divorce. Took me long enough eh?

No it's not court directed it was an invitation for us all to meet to discuss finances. I'm waiting on my solicitor coming back to me to discuss Monday and to make sure she has submitted my petition for the divorce hearing!!

DD is doing great she's so much more pleasant to be around and I don't stress over if she hasn't done her dishes or washing. That's her responsibility not mine. Our relationship has improved!!

DS I'm worried about as u know he didn't get the grades in his exams to finish his last year so he went to college. But he has now dropped out. He doesn't go out except for the gym has split with his gf as he cant b bothered to be in a relationship. He just seems to be hiding in his room playing X box. Il keep an eye on him.

LexieCat

You sound GREAT, Butterfly! Let your lawyer deal with any foot-dragging by his lawyer. Make sure your lawyer knows what your goals are, and let her handle the strategy. You're paying for her knowledge, experience, and expertise about how to accomplish what you want to accomplish, so unless you have good reason not to, follow her advice.

hopeful4

Good for you Butterfly. Stand your ground. I agree with Lexie, tell your attorney your terms and let her work that out for you, that's what she is earning money for.

Many, many hugs. Stay strong!

FireSprite

I'm sorry he's putting you through all this unnecessary BS but way to stand your ground! I agree with letting the attorneys hash it out & staying removed from it as much as possible. SO nice to see this strong side of you, you wear it well!!

Butterfly

Thanks everyone.

Hawkeye13

You're amazing Butterfly--I think you'll also be surprised at what he's been hiding financially. . .
Maybe a holiday is in your future after all--

Butterfly

Thanks hawkeye. I am worried that I will end up having to give him money as I earn more than him! But il worry about that if it happens. And yes after all this a holiday is definitely deserved

Butterfly

So spoke with my solicitor today and she feels that it is best to proceed with Monday as it will be good to have him in the same place to be able to pin him down, given he doesnt respond to anything. She is hoping that he will at least complete his response to my petition so we can proceed to the decree nisi part and have it listed before a judge.

So I will go ahead with Monday and hopefully this can be moved forward!!

Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement, feeling a lot calmer today.

LexieCat

Your solicitor sounds very smart, and that sounds like a good strategy. If it were me (not practicing divorce law, myself), that's what I would do.

Glad you're feeling calmer. This WILL come to an end eventually--just keep moving forward.

Lilro

Deep breath my friend.....you've got this!! Good luck and keep us posted!
BIG HUG
Ro xo

FireSprite

Great update - LOVE the new avatar.