Over the Hump?
Resident Awesome Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Over the Hump?
Ok, I'm about to go on a rant so I apologize in advance.
So I am going on day 23 and I feel amazing! My wife and I set a goal of 21 days (the whole 3 week thing to create a new habit) and I hit that.
Since that day, I feel incredible. I am grateful for her, my kids, my family and friends, all of you and every ounce of support I have received. My eyes have been opened to the fact that life isn't all roses and rainbows but it is how you handle situations that matters. I can't think of one single situation that is made better by booze. Good or bad, being level headed and "experiencing the experience" is better for me than drinking it away. I am trying to make amends to all those I have shut out over the past several years as well. I found myself becoming more and more introverted the more I drank and cutting people out of my life that I shouldn't.
Although I don't have months or years of sobriety (yet), I can say this morning that I truly feel like someone who doesn't drink, not someone who drinks but realizes he can't. I don't smoke and I don't do drugs. The thought never crosses my mind that I want to. I am feeling that way about the booze as well. I really hope all this stays this way.
The reason I put a ? in my title of this thread is I am asking all those who have way more sober time than me some questions. Is this a correct way of thinking? Am I just blind and experiencing false hope? Does beating this affliction really have to be a daily battle or do you just get to a point where sobriety becomes your norm? Please be as harsh or encouraging as you want. I can handle it.
I hope my experiences encourage those who are just starting out on this path of sobriety, and I hope I am following in the footsteps of those strong individuals who have way more sober time than I do.
Thanks for listening,
Chris
So I am going on day 23 and I feel amazing! My wife and I set a goal of 21 days (the whole 3 week thing to create a new habit) and I hit that.
Since that day, I feel incredible. I am grateful for her, my kids, my family and friends, all of you and every ounce of support I have received. My eyes have been opened to the fact that life isn't all roses and rainbows but it is how you handle situations that matters. I can't think of one single situation that is made better by booze. Good or bad, being level headed and "experiencing the experience" is better for me than drinking it away. I am trying to make amends to all those I have shut out over the past several years as well. I found myself becoming more and more introverted the more I drank and cutting people out of my life that I shouldn't.
Although I don't have months or years of sobriety (yet), I can say this morning that I truly feel like someone who doesn't drink, not someone who drinks but realizes he can't. I don't smoke and I don't do drugs. The thought never crosses my mind that I want to. I am feeling that way about the booze as well. I really hope all this stays this way.
The reason I put a ? in my title of this thread is I am asking all those who have way more sober time than me some questions. Is this a correct way of thinking? Am I just blind and experiencing false hope? Does beating this affliction really have to be a daily battle or do you just get to a point where sobriety becomes your norm? Please be as harsh or encouraging as you want. I can handle it.
I hope my experiences encourage those who are just starting out on this path of sobriety, and I hope I am following in the footsteps of those strong individuals who have way more sober time than I do.
Thanks for listening,
Chris
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Congratulations on 23 days!
I'm glad you're feeling so positive in your recovery. And, no, for sure recovery is not a daily battle for me. After the first few months, it simply became my lifestyle. My recovery continues because to me that means being mindful and taking responsibility for what I say and do. Those are things I think about and that are important to me. There is no battle.
I'm glad you're feeling so positive in your recovery. And, no, for sure recovery is not a daily battle for me. After the first few months, it simply became my lifestyle. My recovery continues because to me that means being mindful and taking responsibility for what I say and do. Those are things I think about and that are important to me. There is no battle.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I don't think there's really a "correct" way of thinking. It's great that you are feeling so good at this point.
I think for me I had to be aware. I had to be mindful and not forget where I'd come from. I have to watch out that I don't get blindsided by strange feelings or situations. On the whole though, it does get easier over time. Sometimes quicker sometimes slower.
Keep it up. Good Cheer and a positive attitude help immeasurably.
I think for me I had to be aware. I had to be mindful and not forget where I'd come from. I have to watch out that I don't get blindsided by strange feelings or situations. On the whole though, it does get easier over time. Sometimes quicker sometimes slower.
Keep it up. Good Cheer and a positive attitude help immeasurably.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
No it isn't a daily 'battle'. That sort of perception gets perpetuated and I'm not sure why. Maybe it stems from the 'dry' drunk concept....that if you're not happy, joyous and free, flying on a cloud of your 'spiritual awakening' that somehow something is off. Ok that's a generalization, but you get my point.
Life is up, life is down. People that don't get blasted have good days and bad days....long stretches of sunshine, sometimes long stretches of clouds. They just don't get wasted over it. And, the alcoholics, by getting wasted, ensure that there will be far more trouble than peace. I think when I first get sober (especially the first couple of times) I have screwed myself up so thoroughly that things that non alcoholics take for granted (feeling decent, everyone not hating me, being, um responsible) I'm god smacked "WOW". Then I find after I adjust to just being, well, kind of normal, life begins to get more dynamic emotionally. At that point (5-6 months usually for me) I have to remember to be mindful, stay in the moment. No, not one day at a time, but learning that the present is all I have and what I do with it is up to me. Battle? Only if I start to fight what I can't control, and forget what I can. Me.
Life is up, life is down. People that don't get blasted have good days and bad days....long stretches of sunshine, sometimes long stretches of clouds. They just don't get wasted over it. And, the alcoholics, by getting wasted, ensure that there will be far more trouble than peace. I think when I first get sober (especially the first couple of times) I have screwed myself up so thoroughly that things that non alcoholics take for granted (feeling decent, everyone not hating me, being, um responsible) I'm god smacked "WOW". Then I find after I adjust to just being, well, kind of normal, life begins to get more dynamic emotionally. At that point (5-6 months usually for me) I have to remember to be mindful, stay in the moment. No, not one day at a time, but learning that the present is all I have and what I do with it is up to me. Battle? Only if I start to fight what I can't control, and forget what I can. Me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 6
Well done for 3 weeks, it takes courage and effort to stop at all, never mind 3 weeks.
I felt much the same as you early on, I was very excited I had my new sober life, I was getting congratulations from a lot of people, life was good.
Somebody said I was on pink cloud, and that is how I felt, on a lovely pink cloud.
Unfortunately, it didn't last for ever. I found that my sobriety started to become more 'normal' and as such people stopped congratulating me. The pink cloud disappeared. I started to think that maybe I could have just one... I fought it for a while, then I relapsed. The relapse wasn't the wonderful experience I had planned, it was straight back to the hell of drinking with the added disappointment of knowing I had failed early on. My family were very upset with me too, after all, for weeks I had told them of my new found life and how sorry I was for the past and how I had changed.
Cravings went for me after about 3 months.
I'm only a year sober but I now no longer crave alcohol one bit. I do still think about having that 'perfect drink' though, I just have to talk it through and not allow my classic 'poor me' thoughts ( Its so unfair, everyone else can have a drink....) get a grip.
As someone said, if a bird lands on your head shoo it away, don't let it make a nest !
Good luck, keep going, you WILL get there.
I felt much the same as you early on, I was very excited I had my new sober life, I was getting congratulations from a lot of people, life was good.
Somebody said I was on pink cloud, and that is how I felt, on a lovely pink cloud.
Unfortunately, it didn't last for ever. I found that my sobriety started to become more 'normal' and as such people stopped congratulating me. The pink cloud disappeared. I started to think that maybe I could have just one... I fought it for a while, then I relapsed. The relapse wasn't the wonderful experience I had planned, it was straight back to the hell of drinking with the added disappointment of knowing I had failed early on. My family were very upset with me too, after all, for weeks I had told them of my new found life and how sorry I was for the past and how I had changed.
Cravings went for me after about 3 months.
I'm only a year sober but I now no longer crave alcohol one bit. I do still think about having that 'perfect drink' though, I just have to talk it through and not allow my classic 'poor me' thoughts ( Its so unfair, everyone else can have a drink....) get a grip.
As someone said, if a bird lands on your head shoo it away, don't let it make a nest !
Good luck, keep going, you WILL get there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Sobriety has become a part of who I am, C23. It has become second nature.
It is no longer a daily struggle or stressor and has not been for quite a while.
Congratulations on 23 sober days; really glad to hear that you are enjoying its benefits.
It is no longer a daily struggle or stressor and has not been for quite a while.
Congratulations on 23 sober days; really glad to hear that you are enjoying its benefits.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
Hi C23 -- congratulations on 23 days!
I also felt really great after a few weeks, and that has continued (with some mild ups and downs) over the next year. In my experience it definitely does not have to be a battle or a struggle.
For me it has been important to keep working my plan -- doing a number of things every day that support my sobriety and growth. When I slack off, I can start to feel more negative and less comfortable in my sobriety. As long as I keep doing the things that work, I feel really well, and it doesn't feel like a struggle.
That's the paradox ... for me it's not a struggle, but neither does it "just happen" without some gentle effort.
I also felt really great after a few weeks, and that has continued (with some mild ups and downs) over the next year. In my experience it definitely does not have to be a battle or a struggle.
For me it has been important to keep working my plan -- doing a number of things every day that support my sobriety and growth. When I slack off, I can start to feel more negative and less comfortable in my sobriety. As long as I keep doing the things that work, I feel really well, and it doesn't feel like a struggle.
That's the paradox ... for me it's not a struggle, but neither does it "just happen" without some gentle effort.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Anna 
Congratulations on 23 days!
I'm glad you're feeling so positive in your recovery. And, no, for sure recovery is not a daily battle for me. After the first few months, it simply became my lifestyle. My recovery continues because to me that means being mindful and taking responsibility for what I say and do. Those are things I think about and that are important to me. There is no battle.
I'm glad you're feeling so positive in your recovery. And, no, for sure recovery is not a daily battle for me. After the first few months, it simply became my lifestyle. My recovery continues because to me that means being mindful and taking responsibility for what I say and do. Those are things I think about and that are important to me. There is no battle.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
hi CS23, great job on 3 weeks. I think its different for everyone. If you are a person that finds routines and structure something you gravitate towards, the not drinking part of your day simply becomes part of the day. I agree with others, it doesn't have to be this big all out war with drinking, its just a new way of going about your day. I hope that is the case for you, and if it is, I wouldn't question it, just go with it and never look back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
3 weeks is great - keep going.
For me it's not a daily struggle but every now and then I'll have a few hours where I'm having some bad cravings. Just power through them - I keep telling myself I don't drink because when I did I would drink and not pay attention to my kids.
I'm a better me when I'm not drinking at all.
So - you have the right kind of thinking - for 95% I feel the same way - "this is great I could not drink forever" and then every once and awhile a craving. Realize they pass and you go back to feeling great.
For me it's not a daily struggle but every now and then I'll have a few hours where I'm having some bad cravings. Just power through them - I keep telling myself I don't drink because when I did I would drink and not pay attention to my kids.
I'm a better me when I'm not drinking at all.
So - you have the right kind of thinking - for 95% I feel the same way - "this is great I could not drink forever" and then every once and awhile a craving. Realize they pass and you go back to feeling great.
Resident Awesome Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Originally Posted by thomas11
hi CS23, great job on 3 weeks. I think its different for everyone. If you are a person that finds routines and structure something you gravitate towards, the not drinking part of your day simply becomes part of the day. I agree with others, it doesn't have to be this big all out war with drinking, its just a new way of going about your day. I hope that is the case for you, and if it is, I wouldn't question it, just go with it and never look back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Everyone is different, but for me the first few weeks WAS a battle. The urge to drink was strong and seemingly ever-present. Then, at about the stage you are at, I would catching myself living like a normal person, without the constant, gnawing internal dialogue I had been having with myself about whether I should drink, why can't I drink, haven't I proven the point, etc., etc.
Then, for the next several months, my urge to drink would be occasional, sudden, unexpected, but fleeting. Like an unexpected wave of cold water. But thankfully, it would go away, just as quickly as it came.
Now, 2+ years into sobriety, the cravings are less severe, and quite infrequent.
Are you over the hump? You may be. But that doesn't meant that there aren't going to be temptations and traps that await you. There most certainly will be. You don't have to look far to find stories of people who, 4 months or 4 years into sobriety, suddenly pick up drinking again.
So, if you are feeling good, enjoy it. Count your blessings.
But stay vigilant. The AV is a patient, conniving thing.
Then, for the next several months, my urge to drink would be occasional, sudden, unexpected, but fleeting. Like an unexpected wave of cold water. But thankfully, it would go away, just as quickly as it came.
Now, 2+ years into sobriety, the cravings are less severe, and quite infrequent.
Are you over the hump? You may be. But that doesn't meant that there aren't going to be temptations and traps that await you. There most certainly will be. You don't have to look far to find stories of people who, 4 months or 4 years into sobriety, suddenly pick up drinking again.
So, if you are feeling good, enjoy it. Count your blessings.
But stay vigilant. The AV is a patient, conniving thing.
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