Scared sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
Scared sober
Well things took a bit of a turn for me. I recently lost my dad because of liver problems and that was an eye opener.
I decided to go ahead and scare myself even further by visiting the doctor and having some bloodwork done. Of course, enzymes are pretty high. So that pretty much scared me into doing this for real.
I know it may not be ideal for some, but I've been tapering off. That's never worked for me in the past but I truly impressed myself this time. I'm now on day 2 of nothing. I don't really like sweets, but I'm eating a bowl of ice cream now. I'm not sure if it's really me craving the sugar, or just bored and don't know what to do with myself.
I am still pretty nervous about my levels and have to go back to the doctor to see what to do next. I'm already having effects like edema, ascites, extreme exhaustion/fatigue and that's been going on for a while. You would think with the way I look, the way I feel, and my levels, that I would have been drinking for 10 years or more. I've only been drinkin somewhat heavily for 2-3 years. Crazy how that happened. Maybe it's a genetic thing, maybe it's because I'm (supposed to be) a small statured woman? Either way, I'm hoping for nothing but progress from here.
I decided to go ahead and scare myself even further by visiting the doctor and having some bloodwork done. Of course, enzymes are pretty high. So that pretty much scared me into doing this for real.
I know it may not be ideal for some, but I've been tapering off. That's never worked for me in the past but I truly impressed myself this time. I'm now on day 2 of nothing. I don't really like sweets, but I'm eating a bowl of ice cream now. I'm not sure if it's really me craving the sugar, or just bored and don't know what to do with myself.
I am still pretty nervous about my levels and have to go back to the doctor to see what to do next. I'm already having effects like edema, ascites, extreme exhaustion/fatigue and that's been going on for a while. You would think with the way I look, the way I feel, and my levels, that I would have been drinking for 10 years or more. I've only been drinkin somewhat heavily for 2-3 years. Crazy how that happened. Maybe it's a genetic thing, maybe it's because I'm (supposed to be) a small statured woman? Either way, I'm hoping for nothing but progress from here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
I haven't thought too much ahead I guess. I don't think I'm going to have a problem with the week. The weekend will be a challenge. Right now I'm just taking it one day at a time.
I find it ridiculous that I have to put SOO much thought into NOT doing something. Makes me ashamed of myself that I have to work so hard on self control.
I find it ridiculous that I have to put SOO much thought into NOT doing something. Makes me ashamed of myself that I have to work so hard on self control.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Here's some links I've helped to create which is an official SR sticky & some I created on my own to plan building, 101 hints & tips to stay sober
Very useful
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Very useful
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
Congrats on Day 2.
Yes, sugar cravings can be quite intense in the beginning. Changing your routine may help you to avoid feeling like something is missing.
Most of us had to re-learn how to live without a drink in hand, one day at a time. This is not a willpower, but recovery. And it is tough work. Please don't feel ashamed about the struggle to heal yourself from this disease.
What's coming up this weekend that may challenge your sobriety?
Yes, sugar cravings can be quite intense in the beginning. Changing your routine may help you to avoid feeling like something is missing.
Most of us had to re-learn how to live without a drink in hand, one day at a time. This is not a willpower, but recovery. And it is tough work. Please don't feel ashamed about the struggle to heal yourself from this disease.
What's coming up this weekend that may challenge your sobriety?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey FP
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. It is interesting how some succumb more quickly to the physical ravages of alcohol....maybe there are other issues as well. My father is 84. Late, late stage alchie (who actually can't drink much anymore...and wouldn't know the difference cause his brain is jello) and he is really pretty healthy. Other than drinking unbelievable amounts, he always ate well, remained lean and exercised. Maybe that helped.
Women are FAR less tolerant to the physical damage of alcohol than men. We are far more likely to develop liver disease and cancer from drinking, amongst other things. I know that exercise and eating right really helps me. The body is very resilient if we give it the time to heal. Hang in there.
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. It is interesting how some succumb more quickly to the physical ravages of alcohol....maybe there are other issues as well. My father is 84. Late, late stage alchie (who actually can't drink much anymore...and wouldn't know the difference cause his brain is jello) and he is really pretty healthy. Other than drinking unbelievable amounts, he always ate well, remained lean and exercised. Maybe that helped.
Women are FAR less tolerant to the physical damage of alcohol than men. We are far more likely to develop liver disease and cancer from drinking, amongst other things. I know that exercise and eating right really helps me. The body is very resilient if we give it the time to heal. Hang in there.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
The first few month after quitting I definitely ate a lot of ice cream. You will even out over time, never to soon to come up with a plan because the weekend will be here before you know it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Powerflower 
Well things took a bit of a turn for me. I recently lost my dad because of liver problems and that was an eye opener.
I decided to go ahead and scare myself even further by visiting the doctor and having some bloodwork done. Of course, enzymes are pretty high. So that pretty much scared me into doing this for real.
I hope that you are truly one of the fortunate ones.
I got scared many, many times only to do it yet again.
MB
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I wasn't scared of dying, I was terrified of living - sober. I did not know how and thought, well it's over now and I might as well move to a monastery........
That's the big lie! Life is so very different with sober opportunities. I am not referring to anything of monetary fashion, but peace, joy and serenity. I tried to find joy in bottle. Now I find it in prayer and a grandchild's smile
Ice cream! Yes!
Glad you're here with us - make a plan that start with Today I don't drink even if my butt falls off....
That's the big lie! Life is so very different with sober opportunities. I am not referring to anything of monetary fashion, but peace, joy and serenity. I tried to find joy in bottle. Now I find it in prayer and a grandchild's smile
Ice cream! Yes!
Glad you're here with us - make a plan that start with Today I don't drink even if my butt falls off....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
Thank you all for your response. I felt pretty good today at work. I can tell this has take a toll on my body because of the exhaustion I feel as soon as I get home. I can't do anything but lay around. I'm sure it has something to do with my liver values. Scared to go back to the doctor to find out what kind of damage has been done, but I have made an appointment to go.
Tonight was harder than I thought. I guess that day 3 is always where I fail. But I didn't fail this time!! I just kept thinking of two things: 1- How I would feel tomorrow morning. 2- My liver enzymes! I even had someone ask me, "So you're never going to drink again? I mean, are you sure that you want to do that?" Uuhh, of course I want to drink. But I like living also. I now know I can't do both...well, for long. I have to choose life or booze. I choose life. I have a wonderful husband and children and just a really nice life if I can get my head out of my arse long enough to see it.
I had some very depressing feelings tonight. I felt alone and like I was missing my friend...alcohol. Reality kicked in. I have started losing weight along with kicking the booze. That is something I love and want to keep going. I have so much water weight and edema from my liver...it's starting to come off now. I'm praying I haven't done irreversible damage.
I don't have a plan for this weekend other than to take it one day at a time. Not sure what to do or plan since I always drink later after all the kids are in the bed. One day at a time.
Tonight was harder than I thought. I guess that day 3 is always where I fail. But I didn't fail this time!! I just kept thinking of two things: 1- How I would feel tomorrow morning. 2- My liver enzymes! I even had someone ask me, "So you're never going to drink again? I mean, are you sure that you want to do that?" Uuhh, of course I want to drink. But I like living also. I now know I can't do both...well, for long. I have to choose life or booze. I choose life. I have a wonderful husband and children and just a really nice life if I can get my head out of my arse long enough to see it.
I had some very depressing feelings tonight. I felt alone and like I was missing my friend...alcohol. Reality kicked in. I have started losing weight along with kicking the booze. That is something I love and want to keep going. I have so much water weight and edema from my liver...it's starting to come off now. I'm praying I haven't done irreversible damage.
I don't have a plan for this weekend other than to take it one day at a time. Not sure what to do or plan since I always drink later after all the kids are in the bed. One day at a time.
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