Nowsthetime

We are leaving on our vacation tomorrow early am and my mother is already upsetting me. This morning we were facetiming and she got mad and dropped an F-bomb and yelled at me in front of my 4.5 year old daughter. Grrrrrrrr! Now that I read I it sounds silly, but it's a raw subject.

I'm trying to let it go, channel my inner Elsa... Last vacay we went on with her she tried to give me booze, offered it several times eventhough I told her I quit. I mentioned the following on a thread from a year ago. Back then when I told her that I was almost to seven months she responded by asking me when I was going to stop keeping count. That's when I decided to never mention it to her again. The vacay when she offered booze was after that... We'll see how it goes this time.

I posted a few days ago about my AV being really active. I'm going to use this anger to definitely not drink and show her that I'm doing this for life. She might have her own drinking issues but she's grown and I stay away from that. I love her and she is great in other ways. I need to back away and keep laser focus on my sobriety through this stress. I will not be here much but I do have access so if it's desperate I can always reach out here.

Stay sober SR fam. You guys will be with me.

OnMyWay7

I'd be really upset also. You're an adult and don't need to be yelled out by your Mom or anyone else. Stay strong and show her you mean business.

SoberLeigh

I hope that your Mom comes to realize on this trip how happy and strong you are in your sobriety, Nowsthetime.

Have a great time.

OpenTuning

I hope you manage to enjoy your trip. I've done the holiday thing with parents and in-laws before and all I'll say is that when we got back I needed a vacation

C23

Using your anger as a way to stay sober is a good idea, but don't lose sight of the fact that you are staying sober because you don't drink, not because you want to prove anything to her. I have learned that the people who usually give you a hard time about not drinking wish they were as strong as you were and could quit. Take solace in that. Good luck!

Dee74

C23 makes a great point - remember the positive life affirming reason why you're sober too

you're a good person - and noone can make you feel inferior without your consent

D

Frank14

Wow, there's a lot here. My comments are coming from personal first hand experience, so I'm going to be a little straightforward, if that's ok:

-You cannot, under any circumstance, allow her to talk to you that way in front of your child. This is absolutely a "non starter." You need to tell her this once. If it happens again you should hang up the phone/computer, whatever immediately. Once this happens she gets the black face time screen. Tell her this. This is exactly what's going to happen if you try this crap again.

-She doesn't respect you, and you're partially to blame. You can only be treated like this if you allow it. Make sense?

-You need to be clear that you don't drink, you never will drink, and if she offers you something to drink again, you will immediately extract yourself from the situation (you will get up and leave). I don't care if you're in a restaurant. You pay the bill and walk out.

-I realize she's your mom, and all that good stuff, but you need to put her in her place and stand up to her. You set the ground rules, which are strikingly fair (don't disrespect me in front of my little girl, and don't attempt to make me drink as I'm an alcoholic).

You're going to have to go into this knowing you're going to have at least one very uncomfortable encounter to let her know you mean business.

Soberwolf

Remember you always have us Nows

Meraviglioso

Try to enjoy the trip and the good things about your mother. Do stand up to her if you need to. You can do this, we will be here for you.