paula a.

Good grief you guys when do you ever get good at this?? We had another lovely weekend that stretched into most of the week. Went to a wedding reception Sat. night which went pretty well as I mingled alot and stayed away from the AH most of the evening, but alas, I couldn't avoid him on the ride home. It turned into a fun filled screaming match during which I finally said enough, and walked away. At that point my unlisenced AH decided he would drive his drunk self home. UGH! Needless to say by the next morning it was my fault that he chose to drive and he didn't speak to me for three days. I couldn't take it anymore and finally told him it was all my fault and please, please forgive me. Now I am mad at myself for giving in, and madder at him for not taking any of the responsibility for this.
I need a codie group hug to help get rid of some of this anger, I know I can't be perfect all of the time and it will get better but I am having a hard time letting this go.
Thanks gang,
Paula

Gabe

Yep, exactly.
((((((Paula))))))

splendra

(((((paula)))))-

Cap3

Hi paula a,i can so relate.Many times i would say ok, its all my fault,your right dear,,just to have peace,in our home.I take full responsibility,...But ya know paula this did not feel good inside of me to do.You say your having a hard time letting this go.When i addmitted fault,not just MY,part,,but all of it,,i too couldnt let it go.It didnt feel right for me to accept all of this..I couldnt figure it out.Thought i was doing it to keep peace,in our home.That peace was at my expence.Until i came to recovery.In recovery they talk about..willingness.open-mindness,,,and honesty..Honesty.....had to think on this.I wasnt able to get go,when i took all the responsibility,,because i wasnt being honest with myself...Bingo..I was lying to self,,and others.Thats why i couldnt let go.The truth,sets me free...So i started to be honest,with self and others.I admit MY,part in the scudduffles.MY,part no on elses.I let him figure them out ,his part.There are conquences to everyones actions.I stop standing in the way of his.Now he didnt like when i started to be honest.He didnt like that i stoped taking full responsibility for,all of our woes,,but,,truth sets me free.And truth,is where changes begin.And when i stoped getting involved in his part,he had to look at himself.I never and still dont tell him what his part is.For deep down,he knows...
Thanks for letting me share,what works for me,,
keep on keeping on,,.

Magichappens

(((((((Paula)))))))
I don't know when we get good at it. It's progress. Give yourself some credit. Living with active addiction is craziness in the making. You have come a long way. It is hard to learn detachment. But you are making progress. Don't go beating yourself up because you had a slip. Look at it, learn from it, and let it go. It will get better. Just don't give up and you will get better at it. Give it time. My old habits have been very hard to break. I just keep trying and it seems to get better. Hugs, Magic