Liveitwell

Elizabeth Klein divorced an addict and her honest portrayal of losing herself and who she became in her addict marriage is stunning and accurate-I bet most if not all of us can say this about ourselves:

"When I was married the first time, I was the word that rhymes with witch-I really wish I could come up with a better word, but that sums it up. Now, not all the time of course. But I was controlling. I was a nag. I was a codependent enabler who both lived in denial and laid out guidelines I didn't enforce. My predominate emotions in my then husbands presence were deep sadness, loud anger, profound disappointment and utter disapproval. (I was a joy to be around, you can imagine)."

Elisabeth Klein It's All His Fault (of course it is, dear) - Elisabeth Klein

Point of her post is that no matter what our spouses did or continue to do to us, the only thing we can and should focus on is ourselves-our lives-following what God asks of us....and stopping the blame! I spent so many years living the wày she described in her first paragraph-I was turning into my mother and his mother throwing myself a victim party and martyr ing myself and not doing a damn thing about anything I was complaining about-the abuse and neglect in my home-and was blaming him. Those were on him, yes. But I grew from the person that I was in that paragraph bc I didn't want to be that person any more. I didn't want him to steal any more of my joy or my kids joy. Not only am I glad to be free of his antics, I'm more glad to be free of the me I turned into.

Three years ago was the beginning of recovery for me and at that point the paragraph above absolutely described me-I'm glad to say it no longer does. I have joy, in owning my actions, and I'm strong.

Peace to y'all today!

honeypig

FOG, this looks great--I can't wait to read it when I get home this evening. Thanks for the post.

armartin

For our girls, I love reading your posts. They always inspire me!