I need a drink
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 699
I need a drink
I've left my home I shared with my girlfriend, she tried to keep me there but I just went quickly, gathered some stuff for a few days at least.
I'm on the car now, I suppose the initial plan is to go to my mum and dads, they are away at the minute and I'm going to an empty house.
I'm really unhappy, I look back at my posts on here over time and all I really see is me going on about being unhappy whether it be through work, issues with my girlfriend or situations with my daughter.
I'm a little bit embarrassed to be honest, I got told to try and get things out in the open and it would help depression but whenever I do, it just comes out like I'm complaining all the time.
I don't think I've had a happy sober relationship, I've been at least part drunk in all, rest of the time dealing with the depression.
Don't know where to start to help all this, I would not post here if I felt I had someone to go to about this. I think maybe if I go back to being the beer drinking Stewart I can get a bit of my old self back again, let's face it, if my girlfriend says I'm miserable, it's been mentioned how unhappy I am on here and I feel completely flat now on a daily basis, getting wasted won't hurt
I'm on the car now, I suppose the initial plan is to go to my mum and dads, they are away at the minute and I'm going to an empty house.
I'm really unhappy, I look back at my posts on here over time and all I really see is me going on about being unhappy whether it be through work, issues with my girlfriend or situations with my daughter.
I'm a little bit embarrassed to be honest, I got told to try and get things out in the open and it would help depression but whenever I do, it just comes out like I'm complaining all the time.
I don't think I've had a happy sober relationship, I've been at least part drunk in all, rest of the time dealing with the depression.
Don't know where to start to help all this, I would not post here if I felt I had someone to go to about this. I think maybe if I go back to being the beer drinking Stewart I can get a bit of my old self back again, let's face it, if my girlfriend says I'm miserable, it's been mentioned how unhappy I am on here and I feel completely flat now on a daily basis, getting wasted won't hurt
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I don't have the answer to your current troubles, Stew, but I know (and you know too) that the answer isn't to be found in drinking.
You left home. That's escape enough. Don't escape to alcohol.
You left home. That's escape enough. Don't escape to alcohol.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
First things first stewy: Drinking solves nothing. In fact, it will make it all worse. You wouldn't have come here if you didn't know that too.
So take stock of where you are at...take a breath and relax. You'll be able to find your parents soon and they will be able to help. The relationship issues can also get worked out later too, even if you don't go back.
But please, whatever you do, don't think that getting wasted won't hurt. It will hurt worse than you can possibly imagine, and not just today.
So take stock of where you are at...take a breath and relax. You'll be able to find your parents soon and they will be able to help. The relationship issues can also get worked out later too, even if you don't go back.
But please, whatever you do, don't think that getting wasted won't hurt. It will hurt worse than you can possibly imagine, and not just today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
I am sorry that you haven't yet worked out things with your girlfriend, Stewy.
As doggonecarl and Scott said, drinking won't solve a thing and will only increase your anxiety. Don't let your addiction convince you otherwise.
As doggonecarl and Scott said, drinking won't solve a thing and will only increase your anxiety. Don't let your addiction convince you otherwise.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If you're miserable not drinking, the answer isn't to drink--it's to learn to be happy living sober.
Why not take a break from relationships other than the one you have with yourself (and your Higher Power)? Get yourself on solid ground and you'll have something to bring to the table in a relationship.
Why not take a break from relationships other than the one you have with yourself (and your Higher Power)? Get yourself on solid ground and you'll have something to bring to the table in a relationship.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I think you've made great progress actually Stewy. Go back and read your earliest posts if you need a reminder of where drinking bought you.
Bottom line time.
Clearly you're not happy in this relationship as it is.
If you want to save it, then work to save it.
If you want to end it, end it.
If it's complicated or you're not sure - you need to find a better way to cope than going back to drinking.
D
Bottom line time.
Clearly you're not happy in this relationship as it is.
If you want to save it, then work to save it.
If you want to end it, end it.
If it's complicated or you're not sure - you need to find a better way to cope than going back to drinking.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 319
A lot of us drink in an attempt to escape depression. Unfortunately, the only thing you end up with is a more depressed drunk at the end of the day.
Have you tried to get professional help regarding your depression? I would make an appointment with a professional who specializes in depression and can prescribe medication. Your depression is not your fault, and not something to be ashamed of. Real deep rooted depression is not something you can simply "snap out of." There are complicated chemical, biological, and genetic factors that contribute. (I've had a history of depression in my family tree, so trust me on this one).
Eating well, exercising, etc., that's all good stuff, but you need to really take this seriously and plan to tackle the depression head on. Please make an appointment today and do not drink! You'll numb yourself for a few hours, then have to deal with more depression and guilt tomorrow. Just remember, you're suffering a temporary setback regarding your current situation. It can and will get better if you take the necessary steps.
Have you tried to get professional help regarding your depression? I would make an appointment with a professional who specializes in depression and can prescribe medication. Your depression is not your fault, and not something to be ashamed of. Real deep rooted depression is not something you can simply "snap out of." There are complicated chemical, biological, and genetic factors that contribute. (I've had a history of depression in my family tree, so trust me on this one).
Eating well, exercising, etc., that's all good stuff, but you need to really take this seriously and plan to tackle the depression head on. Please make an appointment today and do not drink! You'll numb yourself for a few hours, then have to deal with more depression and guilt tomorrow. Just remember, you're suffering a temporary setback regarding your current situation. It can and will get better if you take the necessary steps.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,475
Stewy, I think you've made a lot of progress.
You've gotten back to work, and now you've separated from your girlfriend. I think you should give yourself credit for doing those things. Whether or not things work out with your girlfriend, I think the time alone for you to regroup will be valuable.
You've gotten back to work, and now you've separated from your girlfriend. I think you should give yourself credit for doing those things. Whether or not things work out with your girlfriend, I think the time alone for you to regroup will be valuable.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
Not really an answer stew but I've been there. Had to prove it to myself and did--usually in the first few days. Trouble is it once took me 14 yrs. to quit again. I don't have that kind of time anymore and neither do you bud. Best wishes on getting back here sooner than later.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Stewy, I doubt this will help you resolve much, but at least being sober the feeling you feel are genuine. That is important because it can better help you analyze your situation and try and devise a realistic solution. Being drunk you'll come up with all kinds of brilliant (yet probably doomed to fail) ideas and inevitably you follow through with them anyway because of drinking. Does that make any sense?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by thomas11 
Stewy, I doubt this will help you resolve much, but at least being sober the feeling you feel are genuine. That is important because it can better help you analyze your situation and try and devise a realistic solution. Being drunk you'll come up with all kinds of brilliant (yet probably doomed to fail) ideas and inevitably you follow through with them anyway because of drinking. Does that make any sense?
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Stewy84
I need a drink
If you're going to go off the rails, don't try to lie to yourself (or us) about it.
You want a drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Life sucks sometimes. But always a new day to make changes or rethink things. At times my mind told me your miserable and complain alot. Just have a drink.
A drink wont solve anything. It wont change your issues. Time to life on its terms. Miserable or not you can't change it drinking. You can change it be being sober. We all have our days, weeks, months and moments.
Sometimes we just suck it up. Its not fair and it sucks but we move foward regardless.
I have been doing the same things. Posting my thoughts and feelings. Coming at my wife like a freight train at times. Its better then drinking through it though.
Well friend I hope you find someone that understands you and respects your feelings.
I wish you well.
A drink wont solve anything. It wont change your issues. Time to life on its terms. Miserable or not you can't change it drinking. You can change it be being sober. We all have our days, weeks, months and moments.
Sometimes we just suck it up. Its not fair and it sucks but we move foward regardless.
I have been doing the same things. Posting my thoughts and feelings. Coming at my wife like a freight train at times. Its better then drinking through it though.
Well friend I hope you find someone that understands you and respects your feelings.
I wish you well.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
If you need a Dr....see one...otherwise...here is my 2 cents...
How long have you been clean? Are you on any meds?
The AV takes many angles to get you to drink.
Sometimes you just need to hug it out. Sounds like you still have a girl and family you can count on.
I hardly go to Church, but I always try to do the right thing. It is in my heart. I am not a religious nut....but...
If you have tried everything, have you tried God? If you don't have God, you have the other guy. The other guy does horrible things to you...e.g...make you irrational and want to do awful things.
Find a Christian and get saved. Learn the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary.
If you believe in Jesus, as the son of God etc., you can be saved.
If not, just have a teeny bit of blind faith that He could have possibly existed. Give Him a chance and it will crack your funk. I am positive.
From there, it gets easier.
Trying to offer religion to someone is challenging.
That is a reason i love this forum. Offering this face to face is always awkward.
Hope this helps.
How long have you been clean? Are you on any meds?
The AV takes many angles to get you to drink.
Sometimes you just need to hug it out. Sounds like you still have a girl and family you can count on.
I hardly go to Church, but I always try to do the right thing. It is in my heart. I am not a religious nut....but...
If you have tried everything, have you tried God? If you don't have God, you have the other guy. The other guy does horrible things to you...e.g...make you irrational and want to do awful things.
Find a Christian and get saved. Learn the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary.
If you believe in Jesus, as the son of God etc., you can be saved.
If not, just have a teeny bit of blind faith that He could have possibly existed. Give Him a chance and it will crack your funk. I am positive.
From there, it gets easier.
Trying to offer religion to someone is challenging.
That is a reason i love this forum. Offering this face to face is always awkward.
Hope this helps.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 699
Hey guys,
I thank each and everyone who has posted advice and support.
I didn't drink, I'm not going to drink, like previously said I don't "need" alcohol whatsoever.
Dr on Friday, reboot, recover, reset and try and work to improve my immediate environments to work better in my favour
I thank each and everyone who has posted advice and support.
I didn't drink, I'm not going to drink, like previously said I don't "need" alcohol whatsoever.
Dr on Friday, reboot, recover, reset and try and work to improve my immediate environments to work better in my favour
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 268
Stewy I am rooting for you to stay strong, stay on top of your feelings, allow yourself to feel them, and coast on through without a drink. Things will get better. I remember sitting in my Jeep in 2007 packed with all my stuff, not sure what's next, only thing is I made a bad choice to drink. You however, don't have to!
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