KiKi0615

So I went to an AA meeting today. It was a discussion meeting & halfway through the meeting I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack because everyone was talking (in great detail) about alcohol, drugs & relapse.

Sooooo many people said they had relapsed after 6 months to 20 years & then they were talking about all the AA funerals they had been to. They said "relapse is part of the process and we can't get sober until we hit bottom & for most that means death!" It really got me discouraged.

To top it off the meeting was extremely disorganized & 2 guys got in a fight.! I ended up leaving 5 minutes early, getting in my car & buying a 6 pack of beer! I know...bad choice.

Anyway, what should I do? I felt so good when I went IN to the meeting and was an anxious mess who was massively craving a drink when I left.

Feeling very discouraged. :-(

doggonecarl

Maybe talk to your sponsor.

48heath

I agree with doggonecarl.Call your sponsor.

BixBees505

Kiki--I have had similar experiences. Each AA/Recovery meeting and each AA/Recovery group is only as good as the sobriety that shows up for that meeting. I would say "do something" :
- Try a different AA meeting, and another...
- check out some other types of recovery groups that may be in your area
- treat an SR forum as your home group until you find local support

There is no doubt alcoholism is a deadly and dangerous disease, and you will hear tragedy in those rooms. But I had to "find my tribe". People I can relate to. You don't have to relate to every person and every story. Don't let one crazy meeting/group keep you from finding what you need.

BixBees505

48 and Doggone... Am I right?

doggonecarl

+1

KiKi0615

Thanks 48 & Carl...she was there at the meeting with me & said if she didn't have 39 years of sobriety she would have run for the hills too...

:-(

Ruby2

Agreed with BixBees. I'd check out a different AA meeting. A meeting is only as good as the participants.

I disagree that relapse is part of the process. I disagree that death has to be bottom. It can be disheartening, I agree. Bottom is where you decide to stop digging. I got off relatively easy - no arrests, never fired, family intact, etc. etc. But it certainly was a miserable existence. I stopped digging, put down the shovel and started climbing out of the hole. Posting here and attending AA meetings. Reaching out on a daily basis - because I drank every day. You'll get there.

BixBees505

Bottom is where you decide to stop digging...exactly.

Dee74

I'd check out a different meeting too

I don;t know about anyone else but if there's one thing I need to keep straight in my head, it's that relapse is a part of my addiction, not part of my recovery.

Relapse is in no way inevitable - people prove that here everyday

D

gonzo51511

Find another meeting, get a big book, read from cover to page 164.. try and find a big book study meeting and a step discussion meeting.. good luck, there are great meetings and not so great meetings but dont give up

KiKi0615

Yes, I need to just try another meeting I guess. It was just pretty discouraging to see 2 grown men with decades of sobriety fight. Hmmmm....

I hate conflict so it just makes me nervous to go to another meeting....,

Girlie928

Welcome to AA - the imperfect fellowship for imperfect people.

2muchpain

Sounds like that meeting was pretty much fear based (death, funerals). I doubt if fear ever kept anybody sober for long. Sure, those things happen, but to stay sober just because you are afraid of the ultimate consequences is a terrible way to stay sober. Finding positive reasons to stay sober is a much better way to go IMHO. I totally agree with the other posters that said find a different meeting ASAP. I don't think the people at that meeting have anything you want. John

KiKi0615

True John. Those people at that meeting had nothing I want...except my sponsor. She's great. I will try a different meeting tomorrow.

LexieCat

The other thing to remember is that even great meetings have "off" nights. I know there have been times when someone in the program has died and people get sort of sad and maudlin. Even people who are normally upbeat and inspirational can get that way. You could go next week and get a completely different vibe.

One of my favorite sayings around the rooms is that if you like everyone you meet in AA, you aren't going to enough meetings.

Venecia

Hi, Kiki -- I just have to chime in with the fellow journeyers here and reject that notion that "relapse is a part of recovery." I'm sorry that you heard that at the meeting. Those are the most irresponsible words uttered in the recovery community.

Lots of good counsel here. Sobriety is within reach for all of us. You can do this!

breath

Keep coming back(just not those kinds of meetings) it works!

Don't drink(that doesn't work)!

Berrybean

Does she usually go to that meeting?

I have found that there are a few meetings where people love to live in the problem, and seem strangely resistant to any talk of the solution. Thankfully there are far more meeting s (around here anyway) where people want to engage in discussion about The Steps; Working the Programme; And sharing their strength and hope. When there is a main share, that person generally touches on (some more than others) about how it was before, and then goes on to talk about what happened and how things are now, but that's more to put some perspective in there.

Did your sponsor say that meeting is generally like that one? If it is, find some that focus more on the solution and leave them to it.

Hope you're feeling better today and that you poured away the beers.

Soberwolf

This 1billion %