learntofly

Well, that was an epic failure. I'm on Day 16 and I almost convinced myself to go to my first AA meeting tonight. I want to push myself outside of my comfort zone, and I know it would be such a huge benefit to me if I could.

I worked up the courage to drive to the meeting, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. I was just a ball of nerves and I started thinking about how on earth I let myself get to this point and started crying, and then I figured I couldn't go in there while I was a sobbing mess so I drove back home.

I also only saw older men going in there, so that didn't make me feel very comfortable. (Not that it should matter. I just think I would have been more comfortable if I saw women going in.)

Anyway, how did you all work up the courage to attend your first AA meeting? I'm going to try my very best to get to my first meeting this week, but I feel a bit silly right about now.

LexieCat

I'd been around AA for a long time because my first husband had been sober for 28 years, and I'd been around him and his friends and gone to tons of meetings over the years. It was still tough for me to walk in FOR MYSELF and say I was an alcoholic (nobody HAS to say that, BTW, but I sure did).

Here's a terrific article on What to Expect at Your First AA Meeting. Read it. It will answer a lot of those questions you have swirling around in your head.

And incidentally, some of those older men in AA have a lot of wisdom to share. Trust me, you'll be fine.

Casey56

I had a very hard time getting up the courage to go to my first meeting. I just sat in the car the first couple of times, then drove away. Eventually, I walked through the doors and sat down. After I got a head nod, and a smile from someone I felt a sense of relief.

Good luck to you. I hope you go to meeting.

Lucie29

I've been to a few meetings now, and i understand your feelings of ,"how did my life get this bad?" Once you are there, you will see how welcoming everyone is, and you will for sure be able to relate to at least one person's story. You also do not have to speak at all if you don't want to. If they ask you anything, even your name and you don't want to say anything, simply say, "pass". They will. If you go to an open meeting, that means anyone can go, even if you are not an alcoholic. I've seen many people get emotional during a meeting, myself included. It's normal. An all women's meeting might make you feel more comfortable as well. I do agree that a lot of the older men have great advice and actually do make you feel comfortable, like a parent figure. One thing is for sure about every meeting I've been to, I leave feeling much better, and have a sense of relief that I am not alone in this. I think you should try again!

Girlie928

For me, it felt a lot like holding my nose and jumping off the high dive when I was a kid. It has never again been that difficult. There's a lot of acceptance waiting for you in that room. You can do it.

Berrybean

I did the same 'almost getting in the door' routine as you for three meetings. Then I had a nice conversation with someone on the hotline which made me feel better. If I had wanted he could have got a local lady to contact me, but at the time I felt the chat I'd had (via e-mail) would be enough to get me in the door, and I was right.

Why not try the helpline and ask to be put in touch with a local lady - that way they can meet you outside the meeting and you can go in together.

You can do this.

PS Lots of people are sobbing messes at their first meeting - me included. It felt momentous. But then, it was. I was about to change my life (for the better).

PPS Ummm - have presumed in this response you are (like me) a female. Apologies if this is a false supposition.

Soberwolf

My sponser/brother first rang me when I was on a hospital bed unable to talk as I kept vomiting

I rang AA as the ambulance was on its way to get me

When after I left hospital I rang him & he kindly said do you want a lift to your first mtn I said its not a lift I need I said I'm scared as heck he replied that's what I mean so I said ok thanks man

He took me to my first mtn gave me a pack to look over and afterwards I hugged him

The ppl I was expecting to see was down & outs like myself but to my shock & surprise ppl were introducing themselves to me offering tea & awesome biscuts they were dressed nice & presentable

I kept thinking ok I have truly entered the twilight zone it was surreal & it helped me so much

Although I'm no longer part of AA if it wasn't for spending a grand total of 3 months & then 11 months so in total 14 months at AA I doubt I'd be sober today

SR is my goto source of recovery