Sarahm

My dad is an alcoholic. Mainly whisky,but has recently been on rum,gin and vodka and wine. More or less anything. My mum threw him out 4 years ago as she didn't want to cope with him anymore,so my only option was to take him in,else he would be in the streets and would probably be dead by now. I have got past the "I can help you phase". I can't,he refuses to admit he has an issue and doesn't want help. I can't get rid of the disgust (when he just urinates at the drop of a hat up my car,on my drive, anywhere he feels like it) or the anger and shame when I leave the house and 2 hrs later he is rolling around my drive incoherent and unable to stand like some upturned turtle at 10am and the neighbours watch me pick him up and carry/drag him in) . He regularly falls now and he is now repeating questions and is generally offensive. He still hides the fact he drinks and denies it when I confront him. I have just caught him drinking mouthwash (again). How do I help me? How do I remain calm when all I want to do is hit him and scream at him? How do other people manage?

redatlanta

I am really, really sorry for what you are going through.

I am curious if your mother is still involved in the picture or if they are still married?

huntingtontx

I don't have any advice, but I just want you to know I care. My hubby was drunk every night for years, and I never knew what to do, so I ignored him. He quit getting drunk last June, because he wanted to. I don't know why. Maybe others will have a plan. I was just there for hubby if he needed me and I did not talk about how much he drank. He did not try to drink and drive, and we live in the woods, so what others thought was not a problem. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

AnvilheadII

is it possible he can be involuntarily committed? he sounds unable to attend to his own needs and has become a danger to himself. i can't think of anyway for the living arrangements to continue.....

LexieCat

I'd second Anvil's suggestion to look into commitment--it isn't something I'd recommend lightly, but it sounds as if your dad can't care for himself, is a danger to himself, and you are not capable of providing the care he needs. What you can do for YOU, as well, is to find an Al-Anon meeting.

This is a terrible burden for you to try to carry.

How old is your dad? Have you checked into social services for which he might be eligible?

Hugs, I'm sorry you are in this situation.