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Old 11-08-2015, 10:27 AM
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Help!

I feel so defeated. I was only sober 11 days and was doing well, but my family was away and I knew they wouldn't know if I drank so I did. Now I feel so horrible and I don't know what to do. 😭
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Old 11-08-2015, 10:36 AM
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I understand that.. I use to think if no one knew it was ok to drink the truth is for me it's never ok to drink because Iam harming myself more than anybody.. Stop for yourself and then you could be on a desert island surrounded by booze and you would still not drink..

As for feeling horrible, dont beat yourself up jump back into recovery and chalk it down as a lesson learnt!

Good luck. Peace
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Old 11-08-2015, 10:39 AM
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Look at it all as practice. If something doesn't work, examine what you did and look into what you could add to that, or even do differently. Keep trying until you find something that's working for you.

I find that it helps me a lot to have some kind of recovery program to follow as well as face-to-face support from other people. Just stopping drinking all by itself didn't work for me.

Feeling horrible and having the ability to clearly remember just how awful that was also helps me to not pick up that first drink today.
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Old 11-08-2015, 10:48 AM
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As lionhearted said, chalk it up to a learning experience for next time. It's pretty typical for the AV to tell you "you're alone, no one will know, just have one" So next time you're alone have a plan on how you'll cope with that situation.
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Old 11-08-2015, 10:54 AM
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Yea, we cheat on ourselves - that's really the issue. No one will know, except for me....

In your other post you mentioned meetings - is this AA? Do you have numbers to call, people to talk to when you feel this way - a sponsor??

These are some of the human "tools" we refer to , along with the spiritual took kit in AA.

Get to a meeting - share what happened and listen to others experience, strength and hope. We have to make calls, post and use our plan before we pick up.....

Glad you're back, you're not alone!
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Old 11-08-2015, 11:00 AM
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Only thing you can do is learn from it , you can select some positive aspects from your 11 days and move on NOW , capitals deliberate as we only can live in the now , the past is past end of .

A day at a time living our life and keeping away from the 1 st drink is advice every recovery movement on earth recommend , I am sober over 9 years and yet I am on the same footing as you ,we are both one drink away from a drunk , ok I have more experience than you at present but I did exactly the same as you , I was sober 22 months and lifted a drink so you can give me credit for ''knowing how you feel to lose some sobriety time '' most of the successful people on earth made many mistakes , but learned from them ,so toughen up start again with new found determination , take care .

Regards .
Stevie.
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Old 11-08-2015, 11:15 AM
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Yea, we cheat on ourselves - that's really the issue. No one will know, except for me....

In your other post you mentioned meetings - is this AA? Do you have numbers to call, people to talk to when you feel this way - a sponsor??

These are some of the human "tools" we refer to , along with the spiritual took kit in AA.


I do have a sponsor and I should have called her, but made the choice not to. Will she want to hear from me now or do I need to find a new sponsor? Thanks to all of you for your support. I really thought I had this weekend without the family under control, but once I got the idea I didn't even try to fight it and that's what has me so frightened!
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Old 11-08-2015, 11:47 AM
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JD
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Call your sponsor. It'll be hard and embarrassing but she'll want to know and can help you next time.
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Old 11-08-2015, 12:08 PM
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Pick yourself up & try again

Take alcohol off the menu
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Old 11-08-2015, 12:08 PM
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I don't know about the sponsor, but I know drinking while at home alone was a great temptation for me, too. I decided that I would make myself get out of the house or do something special for myself when I was alone, to help get over that initial desire to use alcohol when I was on my own.

Try to come up with a plan for next time this happens and stick with it. Recovery is a learning process and you should be proud of the 11 days sober that you had.
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Old 11-08-2015, 01:17 PM
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Thank you Anna

I knew that keeping busy was super important, but I was stuck at home because I had a little outpatient surgery. It was the "perfect storm" ....Hubby and son were away for the weekend and I was alone without the "wine police". Bad move on my part. I think what scares me the most is that as soon as the thought popped in my head I caved instead of reaching out. I really let myself down. But it's time to pick myself up and start at day 1 again. I hope I never do this again.
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Old 11-08-2015, 01:25 PM
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Keepnitreal at least you reached out now, you know? You could have let this take you under but you didn't. Just call day 11 as a bump in the road and get it movin! Congrats on 11 days!
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Old 11-08-2015, 01:53 PM
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Sponsors are just other folks with problems they too are working on - their responses will be as such varied. But talking to someone before we pick up can help us through the speed bumps!

Desire, willingness with an open mind and heart are the keys.
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Old 11-08-2015, 01:59 PM
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Hi keepnitreal

try not to be too discouraged - this is a hard fight.

Do you think you're resentful at your family for being the 'wine police'?

Maybe it's better to focus on yourself and look at why a part of you still sees drinking as a viable option?

By asking yourself the hard questions, maybe you can work out a better recovery plan for yourself?

D
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
I knew that keeping busy was super important, but I was stuck at home because I had a little outpatient surgery. It was the "perfect storm" ....Hubby and son were away for the weekend and I was alone without the "wine police". Bad move on my part. I think what scares me the most is that as soon as the thought popped in my head I caved instead of reaching out. I really let myself down. But it's time to pick myself up and start at day 1 again. I hope I never do this again.
That's the spirit. Get right back at it. My worst drinking was done when I thought I could get away with it and no one would find out. Thought is would be "freeing". It ended up being a living hell.
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:58 PM
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I get it - on the plane the other day I was like "oh I can have just one and no one would know" and I had to stop myself and remind myself what it will lead to and that I'm doing this for me. That's the nasty addiction talking - next time ignore him.
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Old 11-08-2015, 09:29 PM
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Dee, Thomas, OnmyWay and all. Yes, I think I have resented my hubby for being the "wine police" because what always seemed like harmless fun turned out to be an issue because he would call me out...not every time I drank but at least once or twice a month and then we would get into a fight. Bottom line...while most times I was fun, sometimes I would get mean and that's a horrible situation for everybody. I knew I could hide a binge weekend from him because he was gone, but I also knew I couldn't lie to my sponsor or the people who had been so kind in AA the past couple of weeks. Anyway, I did tell my sponsor. I was terribly humiliated, but she was amazing. I'm now writing about why I want to be sober, why I drank, and what I was looking for etc.... She made a comment that made a lot of sense..."Alcoholics drink, that's what we do. If it was easy to quit there wouldn't be AA." I will just start working the steps and remember to thank god for every sober day that I have!!! I'm also grateful for each of you!
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Old 11-08-2015, 09:34 PM
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Sounds like a great new start

D
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Old 11-16-2015, 04:50 PM
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Day 8 of "new start" complete. I can't wait to get to 30,60,,90!!!!!
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Old 11-16-2015, 10:51 PM
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One day at a time my friend have a great day today
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