Should've been "Bottle of wine, stat!", but...
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
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Should've been "Bottle of wine, stat!", but...
...it wasn't! My daughters car broke down on the highway Tuesday at 9pm about an hour from home. Her boyfriend "saved" her and the car was towed. Yesterday, the mechanic basically said it needs a new engine and will be quite expensive if true. So today, we're towing it to our local mechanic for a 2nd look but he said if the 1st mechanic was right, yes, it needs a new engine.
Lot's of stress. Lots of money (for us). After almost 3 months now of being sober, I was finally getting money back in my savings....but oh well.
I realized last night right before I fell asleep the most amazing thing....Having a drink didn't even enter my mind on Tuesday when it happened, up until last night. But its not that I wanted to drink last night. What I thought about was that I didn't even consider it.....Then I realized that this kind of thing would've "required" at least a bottle of wine 3 months ago to get through. I would've been all pissed off, angry at the world, whoa is me, my life sucks, I deserved it, God hates me and probably in my old drunken state even blame her for what happened, even though not her fault......Yep, that's how I rolled and it was never pretty.
I remembered that I forgot to think about alcohol as the "cure".....which to me is the most awesome thing in the entire world!
It'll be a little struggle financially to get through, but we will. We are healthy, happy, and I am not that drunk lazy slob on the couch anymore, which is a blessing. I was able to pick her up last night at 9pm from work without a worry because I am sober. But not once until I got into bed last night, did I think about any of this. I was just living, functioning, you could say even on auto pilot doing what had to be done.....there was no AV in my head at any point. I was just me, the real me maybe....and I sorta like me now.
I'm on day 88 and could not be happier about my decision on Aug 10th, 2015. A big thanks to SR for always being here.
Lot's of stress. Lots of money (for us). After almost 3 months now of being sober, I was finally getting money back in my savings....but oh well.
I realized last night right before I fell asleep the most amazing thing....Having a drink didn't even enter my mind on Tuesday when it happened, up until last night. But its not that I wanted to drink last night. What I thought about was that I didn't even consider it.....Then I realized that this kind of thing would've "required" at least a bottle of wine 3 months ago to get through. I would've been all pissed off, angry at the world, whoa is me, my life sucks, I deserved it, God hates me and probably in my old drunken state even blame her for what happened, even though not her fault......Yep, that's how I rolled and it was never pretty.
I remembered that I forgot to think about alcohol as the "cure".....which to me is the most awesome thing in the entire world!
It'll be a little struggle financially to get through, but we will. We are healthy, happy, and I am not that drunk lazy slob on the couch anymore, which is a blessing. I was able to pick her up last night at 9pm from work without a worry because I am sober. But not once until I got into bed last night, did I think about any of this. I was just living, functioning, you could say even on auto pilot doing what had to be done.....there was no AV in my head at any point. I was just me, the real me maybe....and I sorta like me now.
I'm on day 88 and could not be happier about my decision on Aug 10th, 2015. A big thanks to SR for always being here.
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Location: ottawa
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I remembered that I forgot to think about alcohol as the "cure".....which to me is the most awesome thing in the entire world!"
That phrase is exactly what I need to learn, and hope to realize! Alcohol doesn't CURE my boredom, my loneliness, my sadness, my unhappiness with weight issues, my arguments with my family, nothing... it doesn't cure anything. It only puts a different problem in the way, or stalls my attention for awhile. Knowing it doesn't help will allow you/us to find something else that will, or turn to something MORE positive. Bravo!
That phrase is exactly what I need to learn, and hope to realize! Alcohol doesn't CURE my boredom, my loneliness, my sadness, my unhappiness with weight issues, my arguments with my family, nothing... it doesn't cure anything. It only puts a different problem in the way, or stalls my attention for awhile. Knowing it doesn't help will allow you/us to find something else that will, or turn to something MORE positive. Bravo!
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You remind me of me
Originally Posted by InTheEnd 
Then I realized that this kind of thing would've "required" at least a bottle of wine 3 months ago to get through.
For many times in sobriety when something goes wrong, irritates me, disappoints me, get's me mad etc. etc. -- I would or will think to myself, back in my drinking days this event would have been a six packer -- or 18 packer -- or just plain drunk and stoned out of my mind.
This has worked very well for me, realizing that today no matter what -- I don't drink over it. It feels good to take life as it comes in a more healthy way and deal with it, rather than to just instantly act out with the escape to the old bottle.
Good luck and keep sober thoughts on the mind
MountainmanBob
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
Originally Posted by soulpower89
I remembered that I forgot to think about alcohol as the "cure".....which to me is the most awesome thing in the entire world!"
That phrase is exactly what I need to learn, and hope to realize! Alcohol doesn't CURE my boredom, my loneliness, my sadness, my unhappiness with weight issues, my arguments with my family, nothing... it doesn't cure anything. It only puts a different problem in the way, or stalls my attention for awhile. Knowing it doesn't help will allow you/us to find something else that will, or turn to something MORE positive. Bravo!
That phrase is exactly what I need to learn, and hope to realize! Alcohol doesn't CURE my boredom, my loneliness, my sadness, my unhappiness with weight issues, my arguments with my family, nothing... it doesn't cure anything. It only puts a different problem in the way, or stalls my attention for awhile. Knowing it doesn't help will allow you/us to find something else that will, or turn to something MORE positive. Bravo!
Keep up the good work! It is a new feeling for me (NOT thinking about drinking) and I do believe it will happen with you!
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That was the turning point for me - no longer expecting it to make me feel better or to relieve my anxiety. In fact, it just made me less able to cope, more emotional, and unable to make appropriate decisions. InTheEnd - I love this post. I'm glad you're part of us. 
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Hi Dee! Good to see you back!
Thanks everyone! Well, new engine it is. I think she had her hopes set on a new car but that's not happening!
And another step forward! I was talking to my dad today(who was a flaming alcoholic till about 2003) about the car then for some reason, I told him I quit drinking. It just came out. He was so happy about my decision. I started out saying that I did it mainly to see if that was affecting my sleep and by not drinking, maybe I'd sleep better.....then admitted to drinking every night. He's always been a tough, hard man and his not drinking has not changed that....but to hear his voice, the way it sounded when we were talking about it, made me feel like I was a little girl again but with a much better outcome.
When I was younger, I did everything and anything to make him notice me. I was the best at any sport, did well at school, and tried my best to get just a "Good job" from him. It never came. He was too busy, he didn't know what do to with girls (he spent lots of time with my brother) and he was drinking ALOT! I never put together his lack of interest in me and his drinking but after my years of drinking, I finally got a glimpse into where his head was at during my childhood. My Mom was always there for me and she was like the buffer between us. I remember very little about my Dad as far as affection went. Wait! I do remember coming home one night buzzed (I was about 20 or so) and I was crying (don't remember why) in the kitchen. My Mom came out and asked what was wrong, and I said Dad didn't love me. Of course she reassured me and explained he really wasn't good at showing it. So I said "If he loved me, he'd be out here too and wondering whats wrong. He can't even give me a hug ever!!!!!" Well, little did I know he DID hear me in the kitchen, got up out of their bedroom, walked in the kitchen, hugged me, and went back to bed! No words were spoken at all.
I remembered that as if it was yesterday.....all because of his voice today. He does love me, though you have to read between the lines to see it. He shows differently than most but it's there. Love is all around, you just have to look a little harder or differently for it sometimes.
If anyone out there thinks they can't quit drinking, they should talk to my father. If you'd of asked me before he quit, I would've said he would die a drunk. But he didn't. He sobered up in 2003, my mom got cancer in 2005 and was gone in 2006. He sobered up just in time to be her knight in shining armor. He took care of my Mom 24/7 towards the end at home. (there he is, showing his love again!). It was such an awful time in our lives. I can't imagine how it would've gone if he were still drinking. God knows I wasn't in my right mind either.
Anyway, sorry for going off track and thanks so much for the responses. But with the bad news of the car, the money it's gonna cost and the stress of the next two weeks getting my daughter around.....something wonderful came out of it. Another glimpse of my fathers love.
Thanks everyone! Well, new engine it is. I think she had her hopes set on a new car but that's not happening!
And another step forward! I was talking to my dad today(who was a flaming alcoholic till about 2003) about the car then for some reason, I told him I quit drinking. It just came out. He was so happy about my decision. I started out saying that I did it mainly to see if that was affecting my sleep and by not drinking, maybe I'd sleep better.....then admitted to drinking every night. He's always been a tough, hard man and his not drinking has not changed that....but to hear his voice, the way it sounded when we were talking about it, made me feel like I was a little girl again but with a much better outcome.
When I was younger, I did everything and anything to make him notice me. I was the best at any sport, did well at school, and tried my best to get just a "Good job" from him. It never came. He was too busy, he didn't know what do to with girls (he spent lots of time with my brother) and he was drinking ALOT! I never put together his lack of interest in me and his drinking but after my years of drinking, I finally got a glimpse into where his head was at during my childhood. My Mom was always there for me and she was like the buffer between us. I remember very little about my Dad as far as affection went. Wait! I do remember coming home one night buzzed (I was about 20 or so) and I was crying (don't remember why) in the kitchen. My Mom came out and asked what was wrong, and I said Dad didn't love me. Of course she reassured me and explained he really wasn't good at showing it. So I said "If he loved me, he'd be out here too and wondering whats wrong. He can't even give me a hug ever!!!!!" Well, little did I know he DID hear me in the kitchen, got up out of their bedroom, walked in the kitchen, hugged me, and went back to bed! No words were spoken at all.
I remembered that as if it was yesterday.....all because of his voice today. He does love me, though you have to read between the lines to see it. He shows differently than most but it's there. Love is all around, you just have to look a little harder or differently for it sometimes.
If anyone out there thinks they can't quit drinking, they should talk to my father. If you'd of asked me before he quit, I would've said he would die a drunk. But he didn't. He sobered up in 2003, my mom got cancer in 2005 and was gone in 2006. He sobered up just in time to be her knight in shining armor. He took care of my Mom 24/7 towards the end at home. (there he is, showing his love again!). It was such an awful time in our lives. I can't imagine how it would've gone if he were still drinking. God knows I wasn't in my right mind either.
Anyway, sorry for going off track and thanks so much for the responses. But with the bad news of the car, the money it's gonna cost and the stress of the next two weeks getting my daughter around.....something wonderful came out of it. Another glimpse of my fathers love.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by InTheEnd
But with the bad news of the car, the money it's gonna cost and the stress of the next two weeks getting my daughter around.....something wonderful came out of it. Another glimpse of my fathers love.
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