OnMyWay7

Last night I had another business dinner event (I have a fair amount of these) Of course everyone was having a few drinks before dinner at an outside room. I found myself standing alone with not much of a desire to talk or engage. I used to use alcohol to grease the wheels I think it helped to talk to others in this situation. I don't mind not talking but I'm concerned that others are seeing me as boring.

Anyone else have this?

Dee74

I'd rather be boring than the obnoxious and embarrassing drunk I used to be

No, I don't think I'm boring - and neither do those friends and loved ones who's opinion counts.

Some acquaintance? If they want to think me boring there's nothing I can do about that.

I am quieter, but that's the authentic me.

That old loud party hearty me was a persona designed specifically to drink to excess with a degree of social approval.

Maybe it was the same for you too?

I love my life and I love who I am now. Those are great gifts to have.

Give yourself a little time to find out who sober you is OMW

D

D122y

Yep, we are boring to drinkers. But, we are amazingly stronger than them.

Our body and minds are free of any toxin. Our abilities are better.

Something caused all of us to seek internet help for an alcohol problem.

I have anxiety that was being nullified by alcohol. Others might have insatiable alcohol craving. Etc.

As we heal, me 180 days alcohol/drug free, some start to wonder if they can drink again.

We are educated now and know moderation is a myth for us. The alcohlic pathways, once created, are irreversible.

Be very proud of your sobriety. Alcohol is poisen.

I vote hit the gym. Your partner or future partner will love that way more than being a drunk.

I might be ugly, but now I am not drunk, fat, and ugly.

FeelingGreat

Yes, yes, yes I do feel bored and boring, but I'd never go back to drinking.

I should have the energy to make more of an effort to put my personality out there, so I can't just blame sobriety.

trachemys

Yes, I am boring. Not nearly as boring as the old drunk me.

Carver

Yeah, maybe! But I was pretty boring as a drunk.

You're not ugly, di22y

Meraviglioso

I have found that there is a right number of people for me to be around to not be boring. If I am just with my boyfriend, I am not boring, I can chat and engage fine. If I am at a dinner with another couple, total of 4 people, I can engage and involve myself in the conversation. When there are about 6-8 people, I tend to feel boring and lost. I am not as outspoken and others take over the conversation and I hold back and I feel it is noticed as the group is small. Once the group is over 10-12 people I AM boring, but I feel it isn't noticed as much because there is other stuff going on. Otherwise I can find one or two people to chat to more quietly.
I agree with the others though, I'll take boring any day over loud and embarrassing.

mns1

I brifly felt that way about myself. Then I realized that I wasn't boring, I was BORED. So I stopped hanging around people who drink and found more fulfilling ways to occupy my time.

thomas11

Hi Onmyway, yes, I have felt exactly the same way. I absolutely can not engage in small talk sober. I have no interest in it. I can engage in something of substance for hours sober, and enjoy it. But that's who I am, and I have learned to accept it. As others have said, its far better than the alternative which is being drunk and acting like the village idiot.

GhostFace

Thank you for this post. I do feel like I'm boring also when I don't drink and I don't engage in to much conversation. But I rather be quiet than a drunken fool.

As I sober up, I'm starting to identify with the real me. I've done things that I'm not proud of in my intoxicated state of mind.

Question I still ask are , how I'm I going to enjoy myself now that I'm sober and most of my friends like to get f $!# up on the weekend? How will I aproach a female now that I don't have that liquid courage in me?

Only time can tell..

bodymindheart

I never felt entertaining while drunk, just more willing to seek attention. Now I am so relieved that I can contently and quietly listen. I also like that I'm the first one to leave a party nowadays. The one sad thing is that I left a party of girls recently after dinner and they decided to take a really cute picture later in the night and post it on facebook. It hurts, but it's worth it. I probably would've hated the way I looked in the picture had I been drinking with them anyway.

tomsteve

yeah, im boring..... to some people.
better than passing in the day after a good drunk and either remembering or hearing about the chaos i created the day before.

theres boring
and bored

i no longer get bored. but i can sometimes do lazy real good!

Nowsthetime

Hello:

I don't feel boring at all but I'm just out there. I do get annoyed at people once they start getting buzzed and start slurring and repeating themselves. I think THAT is boring.

All of us have a lot to offer. It's the notions that have been drilled into us that give us these ideas. AV loves these notions.

Thanks for the post. Made me think

SoberInCLE

I feel that way sometimes but it comes and goes. Sometimes we have more energy than others. I wouldn't make too much of it. It probably has nothing to do with the fact that you are not drinking.

Nonsensical

The cure for boredom is creativity.

There is no cure for creativity.

ScottFromWI

I strongly feel that i'm exactly the same person I was while I was drinking in regards to my personality and social engagements, I'm just not drunk all the time anymore. I don't think that makes me boring..I think that makes me smart and responsible for making a decision that positively effected my life. I really couldn't care less if other people think I'm "boring"- that is their problem to deal with, not mine.

Bird615

No I don't feel boring at all anymore. Like the other commenters here, I was way more boring when drunk.

I did feel that way a little at first until my sister told me she really loved talking to me now that I was sober again.

And the thought that I might be boring completely went away once I accepted myself. I tend to be shy and reserved until I get to know people and if someone might think I'm boring because I'm not a chatterbox at first, then maybe they're the one with the problem. I don't feel the need to make a bunch of small talk if I don't really have anything to say.

learntofly

I don't feel like I'm boring, but I'm definitely not as social. I always used alcohol to make social situations less awkward. I am the type of person who absolutely can't stand small talk. I'd prefer to discuss the mysteries of the universe! I am completely my weird and quirky self with people who know me well, but meeting new people is horrifying to me and fills me with anxiety. I honestly think it all stems back to me being overly concerned with what people think of me. It's been hard for me to try to overcome that.

Soberwolf

Nope if ppl think I'm boring there entitled to think that what somebody thinks of me is none of my business

On the real tho ? I am awesome

Dallow

ah yes, I remember those days when I would have a couple and turn in to a professional mingler. And I did that because I thought others were boring - at least in groups.

In those situations I really think I was more fun to talk to after a few drinks. I would engage in a conversation, make jokes, do the small talk routine and not think critically about what was being said.

Then I would wake up afterwards with phone numbers to people I was not interested in and found myself involved in social activities I did not want to engage in. I felt like a split persona and in the end my social competences while drunk has often put the sober me in trouble.

So I guess the cynical conclusion is that I am more boring while sober, and others seem more boring in my eyes. Without drinks I prefer one-on-one conversations with few selected people, but at least it's genuine. And not everyone has to be a professional mingler.