Divorce Care Takeaways-Forgiveness
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Divorce Care Takeaways-Forgiveness
Wow guys-another great session tonight. Forgiveness....I know I struggled with this for a long time....forgiving myself and him, and others. Let me break down tonight's study:
Why do we choose to hold on to resentments and not truly forgive? Pride, we feel justified and it fuels the entitlement for further bad behavior.
Forgiveness is NOT:
1) Minimizing the hurt or offense-it doesn't make what happened ok; it makes you okay.
2) trust-if there is no repentance, and the other party continues to sin, it would be irresponsible of US to trust them (those of us with kids know this one too well sometimes)
3) reconciliation-just bc you forgive does not mean you want to reconcile. Nuf said.
4) forgetting-forgiveness does not mean you forget.
5) a one time thing-forgiveness is a choice, an action, God commands of us-we may not feel we want to forgive, but feelings are not facts-we just are to forgive, as God forgave us for our sins.
We all fall short of the glory of God-to not forgive means we place ourselves higher than God Himself. Not a good choice in my book.
Forgiveness IS:
1) a promise to cancel a debt-meaning I promise to not bring it up with you again, I won't gossip about it and I won't seek revenge. However, it also means one can seek justice (via legal means or others).
2) liberating and healing-if you don't let go of the emotions, they live inside of you abd end up ruling you ready to erupt.
3) a very hard thing to offer-nuf said.
4) first a decision, not a feeling-when we trust God with all we are, our beliefs change, then our thoughts change, then our actions change.
How do I forgive?
1) look at what God has done for you! Even if the offending party continues to sin, we are commanded to forgive to not let bitterness and anger in our hearts.
2) don't give up! Keep making the choice to forgive day after day.
3) take the forgiveness challenge step-pray: "lord, teach me how to be willing to change and forgive. I want to do what you want me to do and humbly live by your rules, not mine".
Experiencing Gods forgiveness:
1) all of us are broken, incomplete sinners-humbling ourselves to that basic fact opens us up to be built back in Him. It's amazing.
2) but I can't forgive myself, surely God can't forgive my sins! Yes-He can and does, when we humbly ask Him to. If we don't think He can, we are arrogantly making our sin bigger than God and His mercy.
3) god loves to forgive and show mercy-it's who He is. BUT God us also righteous, so He will not overlook our bad behavior.
If we want God to forgive us we must:
1) fully and humbly admit our wrongs/sins
2) believe that Jesus died in our place to pay the penalty of these sins
3) be WILLING to make changes to follow Jesus's instructions on how to live.
4) be willing to follow Him and live a life that pleases Him.
Okay, so my biggest takeaway was something that I think most of us in recovery can totally relate to...but it bears repeating over and over bc it's so simple but also very profound:
"The first step to be where you want to be is to acknowledge where you are-broken, helpless and in need of mercy".
Seriously-that may be my tag line-like for forever. This class is amazing. When I received Jesus as my savior three years ago and fully started wanting to walk in His ways-but my own-it allowed me to begin to fully heal-and without fear and anger (work in progress!) look at the offending party and know he/she is someone just like I was-someone in pain, someone in desparate need of Gods love and forgiveness. It also allowed me to stop playing God! I have no control-He is in control. Give him to God-let God handle him. Romans 12:19 states-"do not take revenge, my dear friends, leave room for Gods wrath; for it is written: "It is mine to repay; I will avenge" says The Lord".
Anyway, thought this may be helpful for those of us struggling with how to forgive and also why we should and what forgiveness means.
It truly is a powerful thing.
Peace y'all.
Why do we choose to hold on to resentments and not truly forgive? Pride, we feel justified and it fuels the entitlement for further bad behavior.
Forgiveness is NOT:
1) Minimizing the hurt or offense-it doesn't make what happened ok; it makes you okay.
2) trust-if there is no repentance, and the other party continues to sin, it would be irresponsible of US to trust them (those of us with kids know this one too well sometimes)
3) reconciliation-just bc you forgive does not mean you want to reconcile. Nuf said.
4) forgetting-forgiveness does not mean you forget.
5) a one time thing-forgiveness is a choice, an action, God commands of us-we may not feel we want to forgive, but feelings are not facts-we just are to forgive, as God forgave us for our sins.
We all fall short of the glory of God-to not forgive means we place ourselves higher than God Himself. Not a good choice in my book.
Forgiveness IS:
1) a promise to cancel a debt-meaning I promise to not bring it up with you again, I won't gossip about it and I won't seek revenge. However, it also means one can seek justice (via legal means or others).
2) liberating and healing-if you don't let go of the emotions, they live inside of you abd end up ruling you ready to erupt.
3) a very hard thing to offer-nuf said.
4) first a decision, not a feeling-when we trust God with all we are, our beliefs change, then our thoughts change, then our actions change.
How do I forgive?
1) look at what God has done for you! Even if the offending party continues to sin, we are commanded to forgive to not let bitterness and anger in our hearts.
2) don't give up! Keep making the choice to forgive day after day.
3) take the forgiveness challenge step-pray: "lord, teach me how to be willing to change and forgive. I want to do what you want me to do and humbly live by your rules, not mine".
Experiencing Gods forgiveness:
1) all of us are broken, incomplete sinners-humbling ourselves to that basic fact opens us up to be built back in Him. It's amazing.
2) but I can't forgive myself, surely God can't forgive my sins! Yes-He can and does, when we humbly ask Him to. If we don't think He can, we are arrogantly making our sin bigger than God and His mercy.
3) god loves to forgive and show mercy-it's who He is. BUT God us also righteous, so He will not overlook our bad behavior.
If we want God to forgive us we must:
1) fully and humbly admit our wrongs/sins
2) believe that Jesus died in our place to pay the penalty of these sins
3) be WILLING to make changes to follow Jesus's instructions on how to live.
4) be willing to follow Him and live a life that pleases Him.
Okay, so my biggest takeaway was something that I think most of us in recovery can totally relate to...but it bears repeating over and over bc it's so simple but also very profound:
"The first step to be where you want to be is to acknowledge where you are-broken, helpless and in need of mercy".
Seriously-that may be my tag line-like for forever. This class is amazing. When I received Jesus as my savior three years ago and fully started wanting to walk in His ways-but my own-it allowed me to begin to fully heal-and without fear and anger (work in progress!) look at the offending party and know he/she is someone just like I was-someone in pain, someone in desparate need of Gods love and forgiveness. It also allowed me to stop playing God! I have no control-He is in control. Give him to God-let God handle him. Romans 12:19 states-"do not take revenge, my dear friends, leave room for Gods wrath; for it is written: "It is mine to repay; I will avenge" says The Lord".
Anyway, thought this may be helpful for those of us struggling with how to forgive and also why we should and what forgiveness means.
It truly is a powerful thing.
Peace y'all.
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