Went to a new AA meeting last night
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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Went to a new AA meeting last night
We're in a rural area, so my home Alanon group and most of the meetings I go to are in a city 1 hr 15 minutes away from where we're living, 1 hr 45 minutes from work... and 2 to 3 1/2 hrs from my summer job and where we usually are on the weekend. Sometimes we listen to Alanon speaker tapes during the driving time.
Last night DS8 and I went to an AA Big Book study meeting 30 minutes from us. For a long time, I had excuses to why I couldn't/didn't want to make it to that one. Too late, too far for on a school night, no one for DS to stay with, etc. Other AA meetings in our area are often at 8pm and that far or further.
With DS being in Alakid, he often has gone to Alanon meetings and now has friends in the program who he can play with at their homes while I'm at meetings. Every excuse I've ever had gets blown out of the water as I'm willing and work on the next right actions. Things open up. Ways to do things become clear, but only AFTER I start somewhere.
So at this AA meeting last night, there was a smallish group of men with good recovery going on. Studying the 6th step. I'm on the 4th, and could still relate in many ways. Heard things that helped get me forward on a day where I was feeling alone and not knowing how I'd get things done this week. I realized I'm turning things over to my HP and then still grabbing many areas of my life back. Heard to act "as if", which I've heard so many times before, but it struck me differently this time.
This morning DS8 asked if we could go back to that group again. It's great to have this kind of influence and modeling in his life. Men talking about their thoughts and behaviors, and how good changes come. DS also asked if we could go to a local Alanon group that's tonight. It's not on the official list of meetings and one of the men told us about it. I actually had ran into his wife at a meeting in another small town 1 1/2 hrs away and had heard of this one, but didn't write down the info before. So wonderful how things come together as I look for them.
Yesterday I was so missing my husband and had all these memories pushing forward of how we were, once upon a time. We aren't those people anymore. We aren't currently able to do what we once could.
Grieving that, yet better days are ahead! Working my program, one day at a time. Easy does it. Let it begin with me.
On the ride home, DS8 wrote in the back of his Alateen book -- notes from what he related to with the discussions, how his own actions can work against or for him. Wow. His dad has recently been in the ER, in mental health treatment and is again starting early sobriety, and DS is having fun, letting emotions out in healthy ways and having sincerely good days with moments of recognizing sad thoughts instead of the "cover-up-the-bad-days-with-pretending-they're-good"! (Um... yeah... me, too
) What a difference. Nail biting still, yet not the melt downs and being scared like what has happened in the past.
I heard again last night, "Keep coming back...."
So thankful for that.
Last night DS8 and I went to an AA Big Book study meeting 30 minutes from us. For a long time, I had excuses to why I couldn't/didn't want to make it to that one. Too late, too far for on a school night, no one for DS to stay with, etc. Other AA meetings in our area are often at 8pm and that far or further.
With DS being in Alakid, he often has gone to Alanon meetings and now has friends in the program who he can play with at their homes while I'm at meetings. Every excuse I've ever had gets blown out of the water as I'm willing and work on the next right actions. Things open up. Ways to do things become clear, but only AFTER I start somewhere.
So at this AA meeting last night, there was a smallish group of men with good recovery going on. Studying the 6th step. I'm on the 4th, and could still relate in many ways. Heard things that helped get me forward on a day where I was feeling alone and not knowing how I'd get things done this week. I realized I'm turning things over to my HP and then still grabbing many areas of my life back. Heard to act "as if", which I've heard so many times before, but it struck me differently this time.
This morning DS8 asked if we could go back to that group again. It's great to have this kind of influence and modeling in his life. Men talking about their thoughts and behaviors, and how good changes come. DS also asked if we could go to a local Alanon group that's tonight. It's not on the official list of meetings and one of the men told us about it. I actually had ran into his wife at a meeting in another small town 1 1/2 hrs away and had heard of this one, but didn't write down the info before. So wonderful how things come together as I look for them.
Yesterday I was so missing my husband and had all these memories pushing forward of how we were, once upon a time. We aren't those people anymore. We aren't currently able to do what we once could.
Grieving that, yet better days are ahead! Working my program, one day at a time. Easy does it. Let it begin with me.
On the ride home, DS8 wrote in the back of his Alateen book -- notes from what he related to with the discussions, how his own actions can work against or for him. Wow. His dad has recently been in the ER, in mental health treatment and is again starting early sobriety, and DS is having fun, letting emotions out in healthy ways and having sincerely good days with moments of recognizing sad thoughts instead of the "cover-up-the-bad-days-with-pretending-they're-good"! (Um... yeah... me, too
) What a difference. Nail biting still, yet not the melt downs and being scared like what has happened in the past.I heard again last night, "Keep coming back...."
So thankful for that.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
One of the men shared several times and ended each share with a comment similar to what my husband says often. As I'm learning in 12 step programs, I can listen to others without comment (or judgement), since what they share is true for them.
What a wonderful thing to get to practice the things I want to change my own thoughts and responses. EVERYTIME my husband says this, it's so very irritating. I can't change him, yet I've tried again and again in so many little ways. Bout time to stop doing that, eh?
If someone tries to control and change me, I don't like it. So why do I continually want to do this to others? Sigh. Progress. I'm seeing it more. I listen more. I enjoy life more. I laugh more.
And somehow, in the rooms, I learn how to treat my family, friends and myself with a lot more respect and compassion.
What a wonderful thing to get to practice the things I want to change my own thoughts and responses. EVERYTIME my husband says this, it's so very irritating. I can't change him, yet I've tried again and again in so many little ways. Bout time to stop doing that, eh?
If someone tries to control and change me, I don't like it. So why do I continually want to do this to others? Sigh. Progress. I'm seeing it more. I listen more. I enjoy life more. I laugh more.
And somehow, in the rooms, I learn how to treat my family, friends and myself with a lot more respect and compassion.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I love how the answers arrive in unexpected packages sometimes & how we've grown enough to recognize it when it happens. I don't like that our kids have to deal with any of this, but the truth is that they ARE dealing with addiction whether we give them tools to work with or not. I love how centered & self-assured your DS sounds at his age; way to go Mama, that's to YOUR credit!
I can listen to others without comment (or judgement), since what they share is true for them.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...en-alakid.html
I'm in Montana and have only found one AlaKid group. Our meeting listings generally show if babysitting is available. DS tried going to another Alateen meeting in a different city, but they keep theirs to 13+.
Looks like most list Alateen by name in their listings. There are usually phone numbers to call for more info. If your area doesn't have any numbers, try calling another area.
http://texas-al-anon.org/meetings/
Went to the meeting place tonight and no meeting. Talked to one person and I may try again next week.
I'm in Montana and have only found one AlaKid group. Our meeting listings generally show if babysitting is available. DS tried going to another Alateen meeting in a different city, but they keep theirs to 13+.
Looks like most list Alateen by name in their listings. There are usually phone numbers to call for more info. If your area doesn't have any numbers, try calling another area.
http://texas-al-anon.org/meetings/
Went to the meeting place tonight and no meeting. Talked to one person and I may try again next week.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 91
Your recent posts are really motivating me to get to a meeting. Thanks for that!
How does one find meetings that are not on the official list? I'm so frustrated that there is only one daytime weekday meeting listed for my area. That can't be right. I live in a HUGE city. There has to be more.
How does one find meetings that are not on the official list? I'm so frustrated that there is only one daytime weekday meeting listed for my area. That can't be right. I live in a HUGE city. There has to be more.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
THippy, is there a phone number listed? If you don't get anywhere with that, ask for another number to call, like your District Representative (DR) or alternate DR.
I would guess that most meetings would be on a list somewhere. I was disappointed there wasn't an Alanon meeting last night, but that's probably why it's not an official meeting... maybe they don't always meet. When I talked to the one woman, she was willing to call another member and have the meeting. I said no. Progress.... NOT perfection!! I could have said yes.
Some days, especially when it's late, I'm tired, it'd be really good to connect with others, etc. I still revert to old habits and say no to life. It's okay. Baby steps.
Just for today.... I'm saying yes to life. Enjoying snow on the ground, sunshine and blue skies, and digging just a bit into a back-log of work. There's only so much I can do today, and that's enough.
I would guess that most meetings would be on a list somewhere. I was disappointed there wasn't an Alanon meeting last night, but that's probably why it's not an official meeting... maybe they don't always meet. When I talked to the one woman, she was willing to call another member and have the meeting. I said no. Progress.... NOT perfection!! I could have said yes.
Some days, especially when it's late, I'm tired, it'd be really good to connect with others, etc. I still revert to old habits and say no to life. It's okay. Baby steps.
Just for today.... I'm saying yes to life. Enjoying snow on the ground, sunshine and blue skies, and digging just a bit into a back-log of work. There's only so much I can do today, and that's enough.
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