Resetti

Hi everyone, sorry for another sad post.

Today I woke up and thought of reasons not to kill myself, then stared at the wall for an hour while I gathered the willpower to get up. I have a month left of my job where I've been bullied to the point I am legitimately afraid to go back. If they knew how much it upset me, maybe they would stop, then again, maybe not. I have financial and health worries, plus I have to be a witness in court and I'm afraid of that too. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, if I could I'd find somewhere to hide and never come out.

I have not being drinking, that's the only good thing I can say about me right now.

I'm going back to the doctors today, have a chat and see if he can help, later I'll try and eat something, this cup of tea is all I've had since toast yesterday morning. I was once this depressed before and I survived and I did it sober, that gives me hope.

Recovering alcoholics with depression, how do you cope? I feel like I'm hanging onto my sanity by the fingernails.

JK130

Good for you to check in here and good for you in staying sober. You are stronger than you think! Right now you are winning and the bullies are just going to have to do their thing without you. Make yourself get out to buy some healthy delicious foods so you can have the energy to keep going. You are important!

Dee74

Hi Resetti - I'm sorry you're so low.

when I was down, and I felt like there was no point in going on, I got some help.
I'm glad you're seeing your Dr.

I thought that my life would never change and my sadness would only grow - I've proven both those things not to be true

There is a future after depression, just like there's a future after addiction. It's perfectly ok to get and use a little help if you can't quite see that future now.

There quite a number of us who know how you feel. You're not alone with this Resetti

There's some really good reading in this link, and some international crisis line numbers.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

and there are some local UK links here. Other members probably know of more.

There are numbers you can call:

CALM, the campaign against living miserably
Helpline – Nationwide
Call 0800 58 58 58

Our national helpline is open 7 days a week, 5pm to midnight. Callers can talk through any issue, we’ll listen and offer information and signposting. Calls are anonymous & confidential and won’t show up on your phone bill. Calls are free from landlines, payphones and O2, Orange, Virgin & Vodafone mobile networks. Other mobile networks and supermarket brand sims may charge.


Papyrus:
Call HOPELineUK 0800 068 41 41

or email: [email protected] *

or text: 07786 209697* *You do not have to give your name or whereabouts.

Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 * (UK)

Let us know how you get on at the Doctors

D

soberpanda

Hey Resetti,
Sorry to hear how you are feeling
I really struggled when I got sober as drink and drugs were the ONLY thing that made me feel Ok and without them I wasnt Ok. At 4 months sober i begged to go to a psychiatric hospital haha (they would admit me)

I laid on my couch, smoked and went to meetings for the first six months. I just didnt get that Yay lifes amazing now Im sober thing everyone else seemed to get!

I felt like I was on the edge of sanity all the time, alcohol was my only way of coping with life, eventually after I had healed a bit I learned how to cope with stuff, and life has a lot of stuff! I had a ton of counselling and that really helped me.

Now 2 years in my life is good, Im growing all the time its been a bumpy ride but the thing that saved me was asking for help and I had to do that over and over again.

You will survive its just part of the journey, be kind to yourself and trust the process of getting better.

Giving you a big virtual hug right now x

Resetti

I hope it gets better. My other half made me laugh about it "Doctor I am depressed and I don't know why" "Ok, well what has been happening in your life?" "Well It seemed to get worse after the several decades of taking dangerous amounts of a depressant" "I think I've figured it out".

48heath

Sorry you are struggling Resetti.

I have suffered with depression on and off all my life.Including during sobriety.

It has always got better with the right treatment from my GP.

Glad you are seeing the Doctor today.

Carver

Sounds like you've got a good person on your side there. I'm struggling with depression at the moment too...but it WILL get better 😀

Soberwolf

Totally agree with the posters I suffer with depression some days are better than others seeing my Dr really helped while you feel like this stick close & lean on us

I'm so glad you posted today & reached out

teatreeoil007

Yes! Big amen.

BixBees505

In my own experience, clinical depression predated my drinking career. I absolutely had to get appropriate treatment for the depression. Be honest with your doctor about your mood and desperate thoughts... and of course stay off the drink.

You can get through this dark time, Resetti. Please keep posting as you go.

Verdantia

I'm sorry you are hurting, Resetti. I've fought with depression my whole life and am going through some issues now; so many of us understand. It's a good thing to reach out. I'm glad you will see your doctor today.

Jsbodhi

(((( hug)))) I hope you feel better xx

Resetti

The doctor has booked me on cbt therapy so hopefully that will help, I'm feeling physically sick with anxiety. He advised me that my brain is readjusting to being without alcohol and to stay the course with sobriety and recognise depression as a symptom of the withdrawal process.

I suppose that's how I need to look it it, temporary pain that will pass so I can live my life sober. I need to get through it or I'll drink until I die. Only two choices.

Time to get a bath and soak away a little of the pain.

Thanks for your support everyone, It's been a real lifeline.

beeme

Hugs to you, Resetti.

Try to get into nature if you can--it is so uplifting to be with plants and animals.

courage2

Hi Rosetti -- I was in your shoes although for me I didn't have external problems much, just alcoholism and mental illness

I dealt with the alcoholism first, as thoroughly as possible, getting all the support I could. Part of your depression is probably the circumstances of your life right now, and counseling or group support (like AA) will help you get through those things one thing at a time, and cope with your feelings.

I also suggest you should be very honest with your doctor about your depression, and work with your doctor until you find treatment that helps. I don't think I could have stayed sober, personally, without that kind of help.

Best wishes to you, and please keep posting!

SoberLeigh

Hope that you begin to feel better soon, Resetti.

Many people here have talked about CBT and its benefits.

Your other half sounds like a very good ally.

Glad you posted.

Meraviglioso

Hi Resetti, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. I am really sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time right now. You sound like a strong person though, good for you for reaching out here and to your doctor. Stay the course. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.

ardy

Hi Resetti - I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.. sounds like your better half is there for you.. we all need that one way or the other..
do you have a fav movie that is silly.. when ever I get that sad. I watch on old Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.. laugh untill I cry. hahhaha.. work is the pits.. sorry that they are treating you so badly.. people like that always make me think Hey when did I miss the Class called bitch 101.... hugs and prayers from Wisconsin USA

LoveYouBye

I suffer from chronic depression and I was using alcohol and cigarettes as "self-medication". Very counter-intuitive but I tricked myself into believing it helped for years. I have been on several different SSRIs since I was a teenager. I am only on Day 3, but I grew up in an alcoholic and depressed home. The last few days I have survived by making lists. Lists of reasons not to drink, reasons not to kill myself, reasons life is worth living. Lists of things I enjoy doing, things I can't do if I drink, things I wanted to do before I became a daily drunk....

and tea...I drink a lot of herbal tea and I say ONE DAY AT A TIME about every half an hour....

Glad you're still here

Anna

I felt that way at the outset of my recovery and I wasn't sure I could face everything I had to deal with. But, I got through it and you will too. It's great that you took action and went to the dr. Your plan for therapy sounds like a good one.