Nowsthetime

Hello:

I have a coworker that is always late. She is having some personal problems and she was always late even before that. Last week she was terribly late twice. I let our supervisors know. I know that I am not the only one that has complained but on Friday they emailed her saying that they will not hire her anymore until that find a solution for her tardiness. She was 1.5 hours late, 1.5!!!! And we work in an industry where being on time is paramount. She forwarded the email to me, not writing anything on it, just what the bosses wrote her.

Now I'm freaking out thinking that I am that one who threw her under the bus and my AV just woke up and is trying to get me because I feel like a piece of $hit. But why, I didn't lie, she is chronically late. Now I'm feeling lots of anxiety about it and I want a drink! It won't solve anything but at least it will help me forget what an a$$ I am. But I'm not! It is what it is and something had to be done about it.

She is going through a hard time but when is it enough? Everyone has problems but the job still has to be done. Folks: she is always late, count on it. I'm not a supervisor but always have to deal with people getting a hold of me asking where she is...

Am I a terrible person? I am having a battle in my head about it. Is she upset at me? But what am I supposed to do?

Arghhhh! Shut up AV!!!!

JD

First thing, as you know drinking isn't going to make anything better so take that option off the table. Second, bosses and supervisors also have their insecurities. They sometimes will say so and so complained so they don't have to look like the bad guy. Not right at all but happens a lot. So be careful in the future if you feel compelled to bring something like that up. It's today unfair and shouldn't happen, but it does.

OpenTuning

No, you're not a bad person for pointing out a simple fact that's clearly having a negative impact on your workplace. Sometimes people's personal lives mean they can't continue in work, or have to make changes, temporary or permanent. That's just how it is. Your colleague should have gone to management herself and explained her situation and tried to work out a way to deal with it in a way that gives her the time she needs and allows the business to know whether they need to bring in a temp worker to cover for her, or change her hours, or whatever option makes the most sense. Simply not turning up, or coming in hours late and expecting everyone else to just do her job as well as their own, and potentially harm the business which puts everyone's jobs at risk, isn't fair on anyone.

So don't let your AV seize on this as an excuse to try and get you drinking. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. And of course, as you know, drinking won't in any way, shape or form, improve matters.

entropy1964

Have you talked to her directly about it? Just asserting yourself diplomatically, without emotion?
And of course drinking won't help. That will just make you the late one

Soberwolf

Hi Now's if you feel the AV creeping its a great time for gratuitude & some urge surfing

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

I doubt you threw her under the bus its the bosses who look after these matters it was proberly coming don't beat yourself up for saying something if your job depended on it I wouldn't let myself get fired because of somebody else's mistakes

Life's a bitch sometimes I've been in the position your co worker was in & been let go & bar 1 incident (my mothers cancer) the 2 times I was late it was my own fault & I was rightly fired

If I'm late to work its not up to the employer to give 2 ***** about me is it nice No ? its life though

leviathan

You're not a bad person. = no reason to drink.
Or,
You are a bad person. = no reason to drink.

Nowsthetime

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling better.

I have spoken to her several times (I'm NOT a supervisor) and have actually taken a personal day off to help her out. I replied to her email asking what happened in the conversation and she hasn't responded. I don't know if she is upset at me or what but I can't control that.

I'm not drinking over this.

Carver

There's never really a good reason for being late repeatedly, it's their own fault.

No need to drink or even feel bad. If this person can't be there, then they shouldn't be there. Millions of people out there who can get in on time.

Roxyblues

Beware of the veracrive alcoholic mind. It always goes to worst case scenarios because it is driven by fear. Realize what your thinking is not true most of the time and that the problem is you not the other person when we are uncomfortable in such situations. Time alcohol and the alcoholic mind goes wild. Mine is doing the same since Friday over work bs. This too shall come to pass and everything always works out if we stay out of the way and don't drink.

OpenTuning

So happy to hear you say you won't drink over this.

Be prepared, by the way, for her to blame you. The other alternative for her is to take personal responsibility for her own actions, and not many people are prepared to do that. Blaming others, no matter how irrational or unfair that is, is much easier.

Nowsthetime

I have reached out to her to ask what happened and if she is ok. No response so far. I have a feeling that she is mad but what else could I do?

I'm not going to lie for someone and enough is enough.

We shall see...

OnMyWay7

First - breath.

Second - it's good you let your boss know. It's not fair if she's chronically late and not letting people know. I'm sure she could have taken the time and explained to her boss what she was going through and what they could do about it. If she didn't that's on her - then the expectation is that she be on time and do her job. We all have to deal with stuff throughout life. Bosses care - they adjust - but only until it's not hurting others in the department - then something has to be done.

So - If she's mad at you she can approach you and get it off her chest. You did nothing wrong - just made someone aware.

Now with that said I'm sure it's stressful and I understand your feelings. Just let each day go by and it will get better.

Nowsthetime

Yep... Supervisors told her that I complained. I told her that I had told them what I knew when asked. I can't believe that they would do that (actually I can) ... But: it has been affecting me and my work, having to cover for her, always answering about her whereabouts, and I'm not a supervisor. I am regretting having said something. I should have just not involved her in anything anymore...

I don't know how to feel...

But I will NEVER again reach out to them...

Girlie928

I don't think you did anything wrong. The truth is the truth. However, ever since I recognized and admitted my own defects of character, I find I am much kinder when dealing with the defects of others. As a result, I am involved in much less drama, which serves my sobriety well. Don't give her any more of your serenity/sobriety and move past this incident.

Dee74

Sounds to me like you're a good honest and caring person, Nowisthetime

Don't beat yourself up. Your coworker got herself into this mess - you didn't put her there.

D