Uncle passed away due to cirrhosis.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 390
Uncle passed away due to cirrhosis.
Yesterday I went to his funeral with my parents. I was never close to him because he always hated my father (they were brothers, both alcoholics, but he also had schizophrenia).
It was sad, though. I remember seeing him just 15 days ago at the street getting out of an alcohol store.
Not many people attended the funeral. Perhaps.. Only 10 people were there, including myself.
His last words, one day before he died, were that he felt alone and that no one cared for him, that no one ever asked him how he was doing....
During the funeral other aunts and uncles would say how he died because of his disease (alcoholism) and how that was a shame..
Then my dad said: "if you want to stop drinking, you just do it".
It kinda made me upset to hear him say that. It was just his denial and lies (he still drinks). Of course, my mother got mad because of what he was saying, but she only told me that it was his choice. Maybe she is getting better? I hope so. I am very tired of her hoping that she has made him/will make him a better man. He isn't all bad, but he isn't a healthy person, and I know that.
And again, after the funeral finished and we got inside our car we saw my ex (also alcoholic) driving his car, he was with a friend. As soon as I saw him I looked another way, but my mom said that he saw me.
She said he looked drunk.
It's sad. At least I no longer feel like I love him. At least now I accept that it wasn't great of me to stay getting back together with him if he treated me like crap. Yes, he was very manipulative, but it was my choice to get back together with someone I couldn't fully trus.
And at least, now I know that my father's choices aren't my fault or responsibility.
It was sad, though. I remember seeing him just 15 days ago at the street getting out of an alcohol store.
Not many people attended the funeral. Perhaps.. Only 10 people were there, including myself.
His last words, one day before he died, were that he felt alone and that no one cared for him, that no one ever asked him how he was doing....
During the funeral other aunts and uncles would say how he died because of his disease (alcoholism) and how that was a shame..
Then my dad said: "if you want to stop drinking, you just do it".
It kinda made me upset to hear him say that. It was just his denial and lies (he still drinks). Of course, my mother got mad because of what he was saying, but she only told me that it was his choice. Maybe she is getting better? I hope so. I am very tired of her hoping that she has made him/will make him a better man. He isn't all bad, but he isn't a healthy person, and I know that.
And again, after the funeral finished and we got inside our car we saw my ex (also alcoholic) driving his car, he was with a friend. As soon as I saw him I looked another way, but my mom said that he saw me.
She said he looked drunk.
It's sad. At least I no longer feel like I love him. At least now I accept that it wasn't great of me to stay getting back together with him if he treated me like crap. Yes, he was very manipulative, but it was my choice to get back together with someone I couldn't fully trus.
And at least, now I know that my father's choices aren't my fault or responsibility.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
My ex father in law passed away from cirrhosis almost three years ago. At the funeral home was my ex and all his buddies guzzling beer before the rosary-and after the service at the church where everyone talked about what a great guy he was and that he was a war hero (yes, he was...absolutely, but the last abusive 30 + years weren't discussed)....everyone went back to my ex mother in laws house and you guessed it, drank more. Woohoo! Alcoholics run in crowds-I should know. Dysfunction and denial also run in families. All this to say that yes, this is no longer your life if you don't make it your life. I'm sorry to hear of your loss and happy that you know your exs choices and your fathers have nothing to do with you. Nada. Thank you for sharing this story of growth and awareness!!
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