jimmyhow

I was doing OK and feeling better, being productive and generally enjoying life. I met up with that 'old friend', the one you've been drinking with for years, and it all went downhill. I got in at 8a.m when all the booze was gone. I can't keep doing this to myself. I feel totally sick and tired of it today, it's like hell. I'm so sick of it and no one seems to get how trapped I feel.

biminiblue

I'm sorry you're having to start over, but this can be the last time.

No one will understand, it is a very personal battle. An inside job, as they say.

*edit to say - that's not really true. We understand. We so understand. ((hug))

BixBees505

No one who hasn't struggled and tried to fight alcohol will understand. Not really. But SR is full of people who have been trapped, struggled, and have succeeded in becoming free. Read, post, reach out, stick around.

jimmyhow

Thanks

I really don't want to drink any more, I can tell it's beginning to screw me up and making existing issues worse.

Anna

I'm glad you're back.

You might need to make some changes regarding people and places in your life to help your sobriety. You can do this!

FreeOwl

I get how trapped you feel....

Been there.

I changed that, though.

You can, too.... start right NOW.

soulpower89

Feeling trapped is something I can relate to. I always think I'm better than my problem, and I won't give in, or I can handle it, but I can't... and it blows up in my face. I cried this morning after a really stupid outing. It's damaging my relationships, and it's been happening for years. I know what trapped is. I think the key is having people to talk to, having other outlets. If you feel alone, that's the real issue. Reach out. Seems like there's a lot of us here.

Soberwolf

Have you got a plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

jimmyhow

Hi Soberwolf, I haven't got a plan. In fact, I haven't got a clue how I'm going to do this. I don't have any sober friends and everywhere I turn there's people drinking.

Thanks for the links. I'll take a look when I feel a bit more human.

biminiblue

There may be people drinking, but not many who drink a lot. The numbers say 10% of people who drink have a drinking problem. That means 90% of people who even drink at all, do so sparingly.

I always found the heavy drinkers to be friends with, because that's what we do. There are many people who don't use alcohol as a life crutch, like I did.

I don't find heavy drinkers to be very reliable as friends, do you? They aren't usually able to be present in conversations, they just want to over-talk you, and it's pretty much the same stories over and over or a bunch of BS that makes no sense. They aren't reliable as support in difficult times because they have to drink or recover from drinking. Plus they usually have some pretty serious personality issues like anger, anxiety or depression.

jimmyhow

Thanks for the replies everybody.

jimmyhow

Biminiblue, you've hit the nail on the head where drinking friends are concerned. I spent most of last night going over the same old ground and having the past dredged up for the 1000th time. I can't listen to it anymore. I've tried explaining that I want to stop drinking, but that of course is the last thing a drunk person wants to hear.

BixBees505

Jimmy...follow the link Soberwolf gave above. There are great materials and info there, that you can use now, today. Just reading and thinking through what will help in your own day and week...just doing that will occupy your mind and when you are too tired to think about it more, you will at least have a start on your own plan.

I found this link especially helpful when I first saw it described in action by Helpimalive several weeks ago: https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

I created my own version of this plan. I can add, delete, hang other ideas on it. I review it every day, even though I know it word for word in my sleep now. But at only day 9, I USE things in my plan every day. So in reviewing it, I am thinking about what applies, or may apply , TODAY, in today's circumstances, mood, etc.

D122y

If you don't need a Dr. For meds to quit then I can offer my help.

If you are at the point where you need to drink to feel normal, that's me.

Eat clean when you crave, stay hydrated. You are going to feel like crap for a few days. Then the anxiety kicks in. That will drive you mad. But....it gets a little better every day. Just don't drink.

Tell your friends you quit. If they are your real friends, they will support you. If not, make new friends. Where? AA meeting is a great start. Even if you are not sure you are an alcoholic. Just make new non drinking friends.

Last night, Halloween in the US, was the biggest trigger for me yet.

I powered through because I am proud of my sobriety. I dreamt I got drunk. In my dream I was so mad at myself. 6 months clean...starting day 1...then I woke up. Nightmare.

I prayed for help. It worked.