Now or Never - w/Permission
"learning to just be me"
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: corner of sanity and ...
Posts: 66
Now or Never - w/Permission
Okay, I know there is a "sticky" Al-Anon liturature situation. As I read the "sticky" post I believe this is okay to post. It actually comes with 'permission to reprint on the internet' tagline in the magazine. This story is in the May 2004 issue. Have a read....
Reprinted with the permission of
The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group
Hdqts., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Now or Never
by TinaR., Arkansas
After years of active drinking, my husband found sobriety and I was thrilled. Finally I was going to have the husband and perfect life I always wanted.
To my surprise, that wasn’t what happened. My husband still spent a lot of time away. I was still the one taking care of the children, the bills, and everything else—poor me. After he had been sober for a while, he began to change—but not into what I wanted. He developed a mind of his own. I could no longer control him and I resented him. As he got better and better, I became sicker and sicker. I found myself alone, facing a divorce and custody battle—but how could this happen?
At my husband’s earlier request, I attended some Al-Anon meetings but I didn’t think I needed those people. I sure didn’t need a Higher Power. I could control my own life and make my own destiny. I did pick up some of the Al-Anon slogans, which I used enough in meetings to let everyone know I was doing great, but I would never really need them.
After 11 months on my own, my best thinking and planning brought me to the point where I sat at home thinking of suicide. Suddenly it all started coming back to me. I remembered things that were said in meetings, some of the slogans people used, and happy, caring faces. I realized I couldn’t fall any lower, so I reached my bottom. It was now or never and I was willing to do anything to ease my pain.
I decided to return to meetings without knowing if they would accept me or turn me away when they found out I had been lying. They didn’t run me off. Instead they greeted me with understanding and compassion.
This was a new experience for me. I admitted I was powerless and my life was unmanageable. I asked my Higher Power for help, found a Sponsor, and started working the Twelve Steps.
Almost a year later, my life has changed so much. Since I took that First Step, my husband and I are back together. My children are happy and I am happy. I truly have a wonderful life.
Even though there are still problems in my life, I now have the help of my Higher Power. I have my Al-Anon friends, meetings, literature, and a loving Sponsor. I am not alone and I can live a wonderful life, “One Day at a Time.” I have become what I heard so often at those early meetings—happy and full of joy. I will be forever grateful.
Again, to keep WSO happy…
Reprinted with the permission of
The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group
Hdqts., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Reprinted with the permission of
The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group
Hdqts., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Now or Never
by TinaR., Arkansas
After years of active drinking, my husband found sobriety and I was thrilled. Finally I was going to have the husband and perfect life I always wanted.
To my surprise, that wasn’t what happened. My husband still spent a lot of time away. I was still the one taking care of the children, the bills, and everything else—poor me. After he had been sober for a while, he began to change—but not into what I wanted. He developed a mind of his own. I could no longer control him and I resented him. As he got better and better, I became sicker and sicker. I found myself alone, facing a divorce and custody battle—but how could this happen?
At my husband’s earlier request, I attended some Al-Anon meetings but I didn’t think I needed those people. I sure didn’t need a Higher Power. I could control my own life and make my own destiny. I did pick up some of the Al-Anon slogans, which I used enough in meetings to let everyone know I was doing great, but I would never really need them.
After 11 months on my own, my best thinking and planning brought me to the point where I sat at home thinking of suicide. Suddenly it all started coming back to me. I remembered things that were said in meetings, some of the slogans people used, and happy, caring faces. I realized I couldn’t fall any lower, so I reached my bottom. It was now or never and I was willing to do anything to ease my pain.
I decided to return to meetings without knowing if they would accept me or turn me away when they found out I had been lying. They didn’t run me off. Instead they greeted me with understanding and compassion.
This was a new experience for me. I admitted I was powerless and my life was unmanageable. I asked my Higher Power for help, found a Sponsor, and started working the Twelve Steps.
Almost a year later, my life has changed so much. Since I took that First Step, my husband and I are back together. My children are happy and I am happy. I truly have a wonderful life.
Even though there are still problems in my life, I now have the help of my Higher Power. I have my Al-Anon friends, meetings, literature, and a loving Sponsor. I am not alone and I can live a wonderful life, “One Day at a Time.” I have become what I heard so often at those early meetings—happy and full of joy. I will be forever grateful.
Again, to keep WSO happy…
Reprinted with the permission of
The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group
Hdqts., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
Last edited by noifs2day; 09-08-2004 at 08:30 AM. Reason: paragraph breaks
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: somewhere safe
Posts: 103
So true for me. While I would like to think that if my AH would stop drinking, all of our problems would go away, I do know that that is not true. We have profound communication problems. Its hard to believe that we both speak English - must be that Mars, Venus thing. Anyway, I am trying to be more honest with myself and with my AH about my own deficiencies that cause stress in the relationship.
Thank you for the post.
Thank you for the post.
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