SoberRunner

... but so does "The Drinking Life".

Either way, I'm not happy. Did I miss the memo!?

least

What are you doing to make yourself happy? Happiness doesn't just 'come', it has to be invited.

JD

I'm not a happy person either. I knew stopping drinking wasn't going to make me happy. But it does give me the chance to change other things in my life that will make me happy. I'd never able to achieve that drinking. Now I have hope.

Eddiebuckle

A good friend of mine is fond of saying there's only two things he hates:

Anna

Yeah, taking responsibility for your own happiness isn't easy. It's a journey, so stay focused and keep moving forward.

D122y

Being drunk during situations didn't make them any better for me.

Falling asleep at parties, during movies, at my kid's Xmas show...

Having my wife tell me...stop talking..you are drunk...not fun

Waking up and seeing my deep red eyes in the mirror and thinking, I hope I don't get arrested for DUI on the way to work...

Don't miss it...

SoberRunner

I feel like I've done a lot to attempt to be happy... I used to go to random places just to get out of the house and meet new people, even if I had to go solo; I signed up to take a class; I've moved to (and explored) new cities; I've signed up for adult sports leagues; I've tried new hobbies; I've tried to start fitness groups at my new job; Etc...

I've tried a lot of things but all of those attempts have been a dead end. I've found most people to be really flaky in our adult life, or too busy w/ their spouses and/or children to (significantly) invest in meeting new people. So, after about 3 years of trying, I just gave up...and ended up drinking b/c "bar people" were the only friendly people I could find.

SoberRunner

Oh well. Just ranting... Thanks for listening.

2muchpain

I don't have any answers for you but I felt a strong need to say something about what you're going through. I moved to a new city several years ago, and like you tried different things to get involved in, but nothing worked out, so I don't know what the answer is either. I try to find things to do by myself to give me reasons to not drink, but that can get old pretty fast. And you're right about trying to connect with other adults. When you get to a certain age, people already have their lives set and are just not interested or don't have the time to connect with new people. It can be a very painful place to be. But when I think about what it is like when I'm drinking and the pain it causes, what I'm dealing with now seems more bearable. I also have to accept things about life that I can't do anything about. I also try to stay hopeful that if I remain on my sober path things might get better. There's always a chance if I don't drink. And you know what hanging out at bars will eventually lead to, and it isn't good. It will end bad. If it didn't you wouldn't be on SR. Have you looked into meetups.com? Lots of group activities to choose from. Most involve drinking, but some don't. Just try to not give up on yourself. Ya never know what a new sober day will bring. John

Leana

In all honesty, I think the sober life is boring as hell. Doesn't make me want to drink but I'm still bored.

SoberRunner

@2muchpain:
Thank you for responding 2muchpain! It's nice to see I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I was beginning to think very few people agreed with me due to all of the views and very few responses.

But, you're right--I just need to hang in there!

@Leana:
Lol. I love your honesty! Thank you for that.

2muchpain

That's why I was compelled to respond to your post. I really do understand what you're going through. I think we'll both be fine. I think all we need is a big hug and someone telling us everything is going to be okay. Here's a big hug to you. John

Dallow

I feel like it's boring for now, yes. I am not many days in another attempt and this is what I wrote in another post:

"God knows many awful things happen - but at least it wasn't just a monotony of grey.
But somewhere along the line there I lost myself. I can hardly be sober doing anything anymore, and yet some part of me still romaticize this life. How do you get out of that? I can think of a million reasonable arguments, but it feel like if I don't have alcohol, my life is just quiet, lonely and full of days all looking the same."

So yes, I do think it's partly about romantizicing drinking, but at the moment I just think of my sober life as boring. Even though I know continue drinking is not an option.

And I've also moved around quite a bit and I agree about how hard it can be meeting people that want to talk and hang out, except, as you said - in bars. It will be a challenge for sure.

buk1000

..

SoberRunner

Yeah, living a sober life is definitely better for us but I feel like most people think it's taboo to say a sober life is boring at times. (I mean, if drinking wasn't fun--most people wouldn't drink right?)

That said, once we've been sober for a while, I'm sure we'll get used to your new lifestyle but I'm thinking the first 1-2 years of sober living is a huge adjustment; especially the first few months, which is why a lot of people relapse.

FreeOwl

If you feel the sober life sucks, have faith. Hang in there. You're on the right track.

Feeling like the sober life sucks is a normal part of the path.

Because feeling like the sober life sucks is just an indication you have yet to open into LIVING sober.

Trust and grow in that direction. You will be amazed.

ScottFromWI

Life itself can be boring at times, being sober vs drinkng really doesn't change that. Sure if you are drunk you might not notice as much, but getting drunk doesn't change your surroundings...just how you perceive them. Same thing with getting sober...it changes how you see things. I personally find most things more interesting now because I can focus in them rather than continually obsessing about where my next drink will come from.

DaisyBee

I'd rather be unhappy sober than unhappy AND hungover.

Chin up. Stay strong.

Time2Rise

Have you talked with your doctor SoberRunner? Perhaps you're suffering from a form of mild-depression? Would you consider therapy or medication?

Also, I've read that anhedonia (an inability to find pleasure in activities and things most people find pleasurable) is common among those who are newly sober and clean. Apparently, the brain has become so used to stimulation by alcohol and drugs that once the substance is removed, it takes time for the brain to heal and be stimulated by normal, sober activities. Some websites suggest certain supplements can help; however, I have no experience with them. But, you may want to take some time to research the condition.

Personally, I suggest seeing your doctor if the condition continues.

Soberwolf

Scott said it best I think & I agree with Anna also