BellJar7

Spurred on by another thread on here, I got to wondering, what do you all do to reward yourselves after something hard, something time-consuming, maybe something troubling that you got through if not booze?

There's a whole world of things I used to enjoy doing before I started drinking, half of which I can't even remember. I used to like to quilt, to craft, to read, to write...Other stuff....? I'm sure there were other things on that list. I just don't remember what.

Right now, on day 3, I just now finished up graduate school forever. Turned in my last paper about an hour ago. And then the cravings hit. I want to buy a bottle of wine for the evening to relax and reward myself. I realize this is NOT an acceptable reward for me, but I honestly don't know what to do instead.

Alcohol's relaxing effects hit so quickly. I'm so irritable right now, quilting makes me want to scream. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I like to do anymore.

How did you all rediscover that? What do you do instead of drink? In those early weeks of sobriety, how'd you stay dry?

DobieGirl09

I'd love to hear some ideas too! This is one thing I miss about wine...having it to reward myself.

Soberwolf

Belljar it can be anything from a new pair of shoes to a new book I got myself some nice food after a couple weeks like a steak

After 90 days I got myself some clothes stuff like that but that was for me

What do you enjoy ?

jryan19982

Not being hung over is reward to me!

FarToGo

Delicious soft drinks with lots of ice, posh bubble bath, box set you've been saving for yourself, a great book. Contact an old friend, internet or actual shopping.......... work out at the gym, dance around the house, an afternoon snooze. Plan and do something really nice for somebody else...........
Happy discovering what floats your boat as a reward!
xx

Anna

This is a really good thread and it should give you some ideas for getting through the early days:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Dallow

I am also wondering! I can't find anything that can replace that "reward" I was giving myself.

I've tried with ice cream, food, buying something...but nope. Doesn't feel the same, still crave something else.

So now I am trying to convince myself I don't deserve a reward anymore, I must go out running or go to the gym. And sometimes that actaully feels like a reward afterwards. but hey, let's be honest, not always and absolutely not before going...

Anyway, yes I am also struggeling and as was said - I just need to get that thought of alcohol as a "reward" out of my head. Not going to well at the moment.

dwtbd

Congrats on your grad work!
It seem weird, but is there any tangible way to connect with the work you can do in the future in that field? Visit a building associated with field, hang out with visit someone in the field ? And then take the money for the wine and treat yourself to some overpriced ice cream ? or a meal and think about what lies ahead , beats the crap out of the detachment of foggy buzz , no ?

JD

Booze offered us instant gratification. There is nothing in real life that does that like booze. It's best not to look for that because you won't find it, at least anything healthy. Concentrate on other things you like. One of the hardest things for us alkies to learn is patience. Life moves at its own pace, not ours.

secretchord

I'm kind of wondering the same thing. I used to write and do photography but I haven't done that at all. Maybe I'll start journaling. I don't think anything can really take the place of the instant relief that wine gives me. I think I'm going to have to learn that somehow. I think from what I hear with time it gets easier. I work full time so that makes it easier for me. This weekend is going to be the real test for me. I plan on being glued to my screen here. lol Private message me if you want to talk privately. I'm on day 4 (so close to 3)

SoberLeigh

Going to bed sober knowing I can be proud of my day and waking up hangover-free is all I need.

Early on, though, a special meal, a special dessert, a nice walk or even an accomplishment - a clean room, a car wash, a new plant.

doggonecarl

Not everything deserves a reward. The accomplishments of some things, like completing grad school, should be reward enough...you DID it! Take pride in that.

But if you must reward yourself, cake is always good.

LBrain

Actually, I never rewarded myself with booze.

My reward without it is the same as many others. Satisfaction is enough.

happyandfree

I can relate to thix...I'm sure most of us can. I like what fargo saiid. Some kind of a treat or indulgence. Bubble bath helps me relax. But for me also...the best reward is a good night's sleep and waking up without a hangover. It's a change in thinking. ..you don't need alcohol and are better off without it. Think it through. ..the momentary relief it provides is not worth the negative consequences.

DefconOne

I felt that way too. Time to reward myself with some good times after some hard work! Its a mindset change. Booze is no longer a reward to me, its a penalty. It made make me sick in body, mind and spirit. I try to avoid looking at life as a series of rewards (pleasure) and work (pain) like I did in the past. I try to take joy in everything I do.

newpage119

When I first stopped, I would have tremendous cravings during my usual drinking time, which was right after work. The moment I walked in the door as a matter of fact!
I was irritable, and crabby, and wanted SOMETHING!
What really helped was to have a big, tall, fruit juice with club soda, with fresh lemon/lime and a snack of some sort. Handful of nuts, cheese and crackers, anything really!
That took the edge off and the cravings passed. Amazing!

That became a ritual, and after a few months the after work cravings faded away......

I treated myself a lot just to make life more fun.
I would order food delivered, which was a special treat for me....when I was drinking I couldn't afford it. Voile' now I can.....

Books, movies, classes in anything that interested me, 5 flavors of ice cream in the freezer, essential oils to be diffused, new clothes in a size smaller as the weight came off, Exercise DVD's, new yoga clothes, more treats for the dogs.....stuff for the house. A professional massage, acupuncture. New hair-do.

I am almost a year into the quit now. Feeling good all the time has become the reward. Don't need to bribe myself so much anymore!

BlissWithin

I like video games, so I got really excited when I bought myself a Playstation Vita, now I'm thinking of buying a Nintendo 3DS or a Wii U.

InTheEnd

Being sober is a reward in itself for me....but,

I'm gonna buy some clothes! I work from home....so drinking and working from home for so many years, I've got quite the collection of sweats!!!!!

I've lost 10lbs since my quit, 5 more to go and then time to reward myself with a real nice pair of jeans, boots and other cute stuff.

Materialistic? YES! And I don't care! But it's been forever since I really cared about myself and not tried to "hide" myself inside and out!

Solarion

I'm not a dog.

jazzfish

I was just going through this for doing some painting around the house. At the end, I was tired, sore, and proud of the job I did. My immediate reaction for to go for the reward...but I don't drink.

What I did was sit down, put my feet up, and just relax. After about 20 minutes or so, I realized that I could unwind naturally by just stopping what I was doing. I started putting the reward in perspective: all I did was paint a stairwell. That's a normal adult activity, does it really deserve a reward? After working hard, then I rest. That's all.

For big achievements, I will reward myself with something that further that progress. When I completed my Couch to 5K program, I bought a good pair of running shoes. When I bought a house, I also bought some new furniture.