GerdMuller

My auntie had a massive heart attack yesterday and it doesn't look like she'll pull through (her heart stopped for 30 mins). I've been in the hospital pretty much constantly for over 24 hours now.

The reason I'm posting here is that my AV just kicked in from nowhere yesterday. The usual ********:

- you deserve a drink to get you through this
- you need to blot the pain out with a nice drink
- you should raise a toast to your brilliant auntie

It was the worst it's ever been. I think I fought it off, I say 'think' because I ended up staying with her all night, if I'd have gone home the outcome may have been different?

I'm posting this because I'm 19 days sober and had no real urges the last few days, and then out of nowhere an event happens and BANG - the AV kicks in like its never been away.

Not only that but in a scenario where I should be using 100% of my strength to support my family, I reckon I used most of my strength fighting that f***ing voice in my head. And that's the real shame...

I'm proud I'm sober today though standing shoulder to shoulder with her as she suffers.

So to cut a long story short: no matter what the circumstances are, if your AV kicks in STAY STRONG. You can beat the horrible, whining little b***ard.

kamm

So sorry to hear about your aunt. Sending prayers your way. Good for you for staying sober through this tough time.

PurpleKnight

Very sorry to hear about your aunt Gerd!!

What she needs now is someone clearheaded to be there for her no matter what happens, don't let alcohol take that away, be the nephew that she deserves in this difficult time!!

JD

Just all yourself if having a drink would make your life better.

Soberwolf

GerdMuller were here for you

SoberLeigh

I am sorry to hear about your aunt, GerdMuller.

You did a good thing staying with your aunt all night.

Be kind to yourself; you are going to a stressful time; drinking will only add to the anxiety and stress. Maybe try some deep breathing. Talk a walk when you can.

Great job on shutting your AV down last night.

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

Berrybean

Well done on recognising your AV for what it was, and making the decision to say sober, and be emotionally, and physically present for your Aunt. This is what sobriety is about: Being willing and able to be someone that behaves in a way that doesn't cause others pain, or ourselves shame and remorse.

Well done

GerdMuller

Brilliant cheers guys. Home tonight but I'm absolutely knackered so straight to bed. Back in the hospital at 6am to be by her side again.

Omelettes and a cup of tea and (why not) a load of chocolate on the menu tonight x

SoberLeigh

Hope you get some good rest, GerdMuller.