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cant deal with life

Old 10-27-2015, 02:03 PM
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cant deal with life

I see my psych tomorrow at 11 am
unsure what he going to say about the OD i had a few weeks ago
unsure i should be called clean after i bruised my arm on as it was the only way i can now self injure since i have nothing else to hurt myself with
i want to drink and i want drugs my husband never gives me money and am never out on my own due to my mental health

me and my husband have been arguing a lot over the most stupid of things

i cant deal with life right now
i have no sponsor yet even though i go to AA witch i havent been to in 3 weeks as my nieces have been here for the last two weeks because of family stuff i cant go this saturday as it would mean my nieces would have to come with us and we dont trust them enough to be in the house on there own
unsure what to do
but am safe for the time being
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:13 PM
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What kind of OD did you have, DeathMental?

I don't remember you talking about a recent OD.

Please don't harm yourself; your husband loves you and we care, too.

Being honest with your therapist is so important for him/her to be able to effectively help you.
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:14 PM
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Hurting yourself solves nothing it does cause stress and damage as you know

I'm sorry you feel like that when you do, I stopped self harming over 10 years ago and i am still horribly scarred il never be able to change that & I regret I ever done it DM

As for your psych apt I suggest you be brutally honest about everything, your husband has been a rock for you & he's proberly stressed out

My best advice is keep the apt be honest be brutally honest as you have said before your husband has to keep meds from you there is self harm and you mentioned a recent OD

I don't mean to hurt you or sound harsh believe me when I say your husband loves & cares about you but he needs help from you & you keeping your apt is a good thing

Try to meditate, do you read ? do you exercise ? these things put my head in a better space I wish you the very best & hope your apt goes well tomorrow
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:16 PM
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I hope that you get enough time to bring all of this up with your psychologist DM as I am sure it would really help if he/her was given the full picture including all the background info.

Tell me if I am speaking out of turn here but it seems to me that you have enough on your plate without having to be responsible for your nieces who are ultimately someone else's children. I don't mean it in a horrible way - it just seems unfair on you and your husband

Maybe you could assert yourself in that area of your life at least

I wish you all the best for tomorrow - it can be a good idea to physically write down on paper all the things you want to say - nothing worse than coming out of something like that thinking "why didn't I mention....."
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:35 PM
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Best of luck tomorrow DM, as others have mentioned please share everything you have with us here. Glad to hear you say that you are safe for now too, you now that there are good and bad days and that you have a caring husband and lots of support here too.
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:55 PM
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The OD' wasa few weeks ago it was painkillers they where in my bag as my husband bought some as he had a headache but forgot about themsi should restart my sober day starting from today .
going to talk to my Psych tomorrow tell them am struggling and i need help
my husband says he can cope i can go to an AA meeting tomorrow at 8pm my husband can take me there
with my nieces its the only time we have access to them
my mother is there guardian because my sister is unwell we hardly talk to my mum unless it about the girls

Am scared all the time that something is going to happened to my husband like what happened to my step dad ( my step dad killed himself and we knew nothing about him being suicidal he showed no signs of wanting to kill himself )

am starting clean again no more doing things to hurt myself with no more making my husband more stressed

thank you all for replying to my post and saying what you all have said
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Old 10-27-2015, 03:00 PM
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We are here for you, DM.

Let us know how your appoint goes.
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Old 10-27-2015, 03:44 PM
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"Blood Train"
Blood Train by god dirt ( am not sure if its all the words to the song was listening to a christian rock radio and heard it i hope its ok for me to post this here )


I’m on the blood train and I’m on the right track
I’m on the blood train and there ain’t no comin’ back
I’m on the blood train headed for eternal life
I’m on the blood train covered by the blood of Jesus Christ
Like a gypsy like a man with no name I lived in darkness
Till darkness drove me insane
Then a Light came gonna take my ball and chain
Light said believe in Me ride on the blood train
Took my whiskey and throwed it down the drain
I did the same thing with my cocaine
I said goodbye now to that old man
Bigger party goin’ on on the blood train
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Old 10-27-2015, 04:01 PM
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I'm glad you are safe right now, and I hope that you talk openly at your appointment tomorrow and that you get some help.
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Old 10-27-2015, 05:29 PM
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I'm really glad you are here I'm also happy you have an appointment tomorrow. I wish peace and serenity for you tonight.
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Old 10-27-2015, 11:46 PM
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I hope your session goes well, DM!
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Old 10-28-2015, 06:38 AM
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Hope it all goes well today DM!!
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Old 10-28-2015, 10:09 AM
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told him how things where going he up'ed my antidepressants and anti anxiety
told him about my husband he said there a group that he can join for help

apart from that there was nothing else they can do
they cant put me ip because am not unwell enough am not a danger to anyone so thats that

just getting ready to go out soon
be back later
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Old 10-28-2015, 10:13 AM
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Hope the change in your meds provides relief for you, DM.

Sending good thoughts your way.
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Old 10-28-2015, 10:30 AM
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Are you taking a benzodiazepine for anxiety? Many members of this forum have reported that long-term use actually increases anxiety.
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