Kaily

I have enormous admiration for anyone that has managed not to drink but what slightly worries me is how we count the days sober as milestones. To me this means drink or lack of it is still playing a huge part of our lives...if we are recovered should it even enter our minds?
I am not very good at explaining what I mean but I will try, time heals, I lost my partner some time ago, I have never forgotten him or ever will but I don't (anymore) count the days since his accident. I have other similar scenarios which time hasn,t heeled but days have become months and months become years.
Any day sober is a very good day, so just take a day at a time.

Fly N Buy

My sobriety date is very important to me - it reminds me of my last drunk, something I can never forget. As time passes, my brain starts to tell me it's ok to drink a little. On 6.8.2014 I took my last drink - I am not trying to memorialize the date, but I can ill afford not to remember the misery I choose to create.

Some know their sobriety date, some don't. Have your journey and decide what's of value to you!

Glad you're here, welcome

2muchpain

For me, counting the days that I did not drink gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I do the same thing at the gym. I keep track of what I've accomplished there also. It just give me the feeling that I'm progressing. John

Soberwolf

I counted as it mattered that much to me every day like you said it was relief counting how far away I was getting

Days turned to months & months turned to years this April 6th il be 1000 days I'm looking forward to that but like you said I only have today

Fwiw if you asked me my day count I wouldn't know I know I'm getting through month 27 though as we celebrate milesstones not everyone does & that's ok

ccam1973

Kaily, I think it all depends on the individual doing the counting. For some, it is too much of a hassle and irrelevant, while for others it is a useful tool.

I fall on the side of it being a useful tool. I take pride in the number of days since my last drink, it gives me accountability and a sense of accomplishment. I'm 15 months in and still keep a calendar of when I started; July 7/7/14

Bottom line is do what ever works best for you. The ultimate goal is the same for us all, but the tools we use to get there differ from person to person.

Carver

I keep counting because I'm proud of what I've done, and as a daily reminder not to go back there.

Everyone is different - whatever works is what you should do

Ruby2

I understand what you are saying. I do count my days though. It shows the progress I've made and keeps me accountable to myself. I've heard people dismiss counting days as vanity - that we are all at risk of picking up again today. Or tomorrow. That it should be the quality of sobriety and not the quantity. But I can't forget what it was like. If I don't look back to see where I've been and how awful it was, I'm likely to forget. Pain fades and the memories of the glamour and warmth remain more vivid. That's why I come back here.

One day at a time.

sydneyman

Keeps me accountable and puts a "figure" on my sober days.. Lesser chance for me to blow it if I know how many days I been sober.. Seems to work for me

FreeOwl

the number of days stopped mattering quite so much after I reached a year....

But I still have my sobriety tracker and I still look now and again. I have enjoyed milestones like 400, 500, 600 days. They felt like achievements, like milestones worth celebrating, like days worthy of a small celebration.

Each day lived fully and without the haze of alcohol is worth acknowledgement, to me. I'm now more onto counting the years. It does mean something to me. It does motivate me. It does give me strength and hope and personal validation of my choice of sobriety.

I look forward to my milestone of 14 years..... the first time I will have been sober for as long as I was in my life before I began drinking.

I look forward to my 27 years.... the year I will have been sober for as many years as I drank....

There'll no doubt be long periods I go without really thinking about how many sober days I've got under my belt - but there will also be days when I look to that number for strength to get through a challenging time, a temptation or a thought about "maybe if I just had ONE....".

Me, I think it does matter. But the most important number of days sober is TODAY.

Anna

I counted days for awhile, a few months, because I was shocked that I had managed to get that far. I no longer count days, but I do count years because it's important to me to know that alcoholism doesn't define me. There was a 'me' before I began drinking, and there's been a 'me' in the years since I stopped. The 'me' who spent a few years drinking has not taken over my life and counting years helps me to remember that.

BixBees505

I've had a love/hate relationship with the number. Before I accepted my condition, I resented that people "obsessed" over counting (my words). I aspired to be "beyond" alcohol. Many years ago, and a wise person not involved in recovery in any way actually said to me then..."but Bix--to be beyond, you have to first go through." I think those words apply in thinking about any truly major change, whether major loss or major gain. For myself, counting can drive me a little nutty at this stage. It makes me nervous. But I also think that once sobriety feels more like a gain than a loss to me...counting will be a pleasure.

D122y

My coworker quit drinking 10 years ago.

He said for him drinking was 0 or 22. No in between.

He told me he forgot what it was like to be drunk.

I don't think he used AA. He just quit. Mind over matter.

AnvilheadII

if we are taking this "never drinking again" thing seriously, then it isn't JUST the number of days, but that they are strung together consecutively, in an unbroken chain.

tomorrow is my real BD, and i know i will be 56. i keep a spreadsheet of events like the day i met my other half, exactly 13 birthdays ago. how long we lived at each address. when we got our dogs, how old they are. the day we closed on our house. and my spreadsheet calculates each of those things to the day.....4748 days with hank.....2897 days in the house.

oddly enough what i do NOT have is the last day i ever used, cuz at the time i didn't know it was the last day.......but i do know it was right before we got the house, so i call it 8 years.

each of the above are important to ME in their own way, and i like having them anchored in time............

PurpleKnight

Whatever works Kaily!!

Counting, not counting, whatever keeps you Sober, that's the goal!!

JK130

It matters to me how many days/months of sobriety ive accomplished. It helps me to remember where ive been, and to plan for where i want to be. Ive also linked my number of days counter to a $$ number...and i really enjoy seeing the $ saved amount increase. (Nerd fun. Lol!)

kinzoku

For me its a reminder that I'm on a path. Its like my friends who record their gains in the gym faithfully. I think at certain points in the future it will matter less.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Venecia

I was a daily day counter during the first six months or so of my sobriety. It helped bolster my strength, especially in challenging times. Now, I just like to look it up from time to time.

Day counting, in my view, is an important tool toward building our accountability to ourselves. It is one way -- though certainly not the only one -- of deepening our commitment and prevailing upon ourselves to stick with it. My only concern about *not* counting days, especially early on, is that it can enable people to backslide and then say "I'm not counting days anymore." I've seen that from time to time here.

This is darn hard work. It's also a way to celebrate our accomplishments and those of others when they hit a big day.

MIRecovery

Some days it does most days it doesn't

advbike

Sure. It is a mental reward, and reinforces our thinking, and behaviors. I counted the sober days, then months, now years, but I have no idea of my exact day count anymore. I was obsessive in counting my drinks when still drinking, it feels good to let go of that obsessive behavior in sobriety.

MelindaFlowers

I am applying this only to myself, but if I had told myself that each sober day was as good as the next then I would've gone for six super sober days a week with a day off if that makes sense.

I had so many day ones because I knew I could just have a day one again tomorrow. Once the days added up, I had some investment.

I would have told myself that 28 sober days a month was pretty great!

That said, each sober day is great.

But my smarmy, slimy, sneaky addictive voice needed the military style counting if the days. Zero tolerance. Ducks in a row.

For me the number is HUGE. But what's funny is that I can't even tell you the number off the top of my head right now! 490'ish?