Running out of hope

Old 10-26-2015, 08:24 AM
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Running out of hope

I am posting this, I suppose, to just get it off my chest, so to speak. And to ask for help.

My almost 28 year old daughter has been addicted to opiates since age 19/20 . In and out of jail. In prison once, work release. Got pregnant and now has an infant. The baby father is in prison, probably for 5 or more years. She was supposedly clean when we set her up with a place to live, and helped her get a car, etc. Found out after baby was born she was abusing. Luckily, baby is healthy. They are in a special rehab where she can have the baby with her. Finally, she is being forced to look at her issues. Let me say, the only reason she is in rehab is because the law said she had to be. So, I don't know how serious she is looking at this stuff or if she is just going through the motions.

I am heartbroken because I can't understand how anyone or anything can be more important than the well-being of your child.

I am hopeful that looking at her issues, she will be able to change but it's hard to be hopeful because, frankly, after all this time I am just running out of hope. I have to dig hard and deep to find even a glimmer because I feel like as soon as I have hope, it is going to be doomed.

One of the issues she has is saying good bye to people in her life who abuse drugs. She says she feels if she just cuts them out of her life, she is being mean or hurtful to them. She does stay friends with everyone she has ever known, good or bad, those who have hurt her or helped her. I just wish she could understand it is ok to say good bye to people who are no longer part of the path you want to go on.

Does anyone have any passages or articles that might help her with that understanding? She does not believe in God, so quotes from bible aren't going to help.

thank you.
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Old 10-26-2015, 09:48 AM
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Sorry for your heartache. The pearls of wisdom are in the rooms of AA.
Meeting makers make it. We have to change "people, places and things"
if we want solid recovery. There is great simple wisdom in AA and even the trite
cliches are profoundly true. AA is the original 12 step program of recovery
and the biggest spiritual movement of the 20th century.
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Old 11-26-2015, 08:43 PM
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My 24 year old son is a heroin addict, its heart breaking and I know the feeling of no hope. Praying that the clean time in rehab will give her a new start and special time with her baby. It's a long hard road we travel. (((Hugs)))
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Old 11-27-2015, 11:17 AM
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I am sorry you are going through this struggle with your daughter and grandchild. The stakes are much higher because of the grandchild.

I have been through so much with my alcoholic relative, that I am just about out of hope - and I am glad for myself that I am, because my hope was fueled by denial. I believed lies, refused to see what was happening, lived with my image of him in the past, etc. I prayed and prayed and we (the family) have supported rehab, etc. Nothing has changed.

It's up to him but I want to save myself now.

I wish you and your family the best of luck and would recommend Alanon or Naranon to you, even though I don't resonate with it - it has helped many other people.
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