logicaldog

I recently moved 3000 miles to be with an alcoholic, what a moron. Im a therapist and I must say its much harder actually doing the stuff that I have been telling people for years...This person has wild mood swings, and drinks an incredible amount and is in complete denial, actually seems to enjoy his life which is nothing more than sleeping until 2 pm, staying on the internet, then starting to drink around 8 until 2-3 am and the whole thing starts again. He is also a severe stutterer and probably depressed. In the beginning he was honest with me now there is nothing but denial and bravado. And certainly it is escalating. I have no legitimate way to help since he tells me to leave him alone, Im not his wife and not even his girlfriend anymore. Everyone, including my kids tell me to leave him alone, not worth time or effort, but...Helpless in Oregon, Hes a very nasty drunk btw

ScottFromWI

Sound like maybe you should just leave if you can? Doesn't sound like there is anything for you there or any committment for you to stay. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on to the next chapter in your life.

JD

I think you know the answer. I know acting on it's hard but you have to look out for your children and yourself first.

Soberwolf

Welcome LogicalDog

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation, but I think you know what you need to do.

thomas11

THis will come across as being cold, but you were resourceful enough to move 3000 miles to a bad situation, you can become resourceful again and move 3000 miles away from said bad situation.

KidsEverywhere

My guess is if you do the old listing of the good thing and the bad things, your bad things list is gonna be pretty long and the good things are gonna be pretty short.
Cash in your chips on this game, a year from now, you will wonder why you waited as long as you did. You cannot make someone in that place change his ways and all you are doing is wasting time and money staying.

ast1

My advice has always been, if its like this now where will it be in a year from now.
I hate to give up on people. But if their not willing to help themselves what can I do. You said you have no ties to him. Do what's right for you.
Mr Amazing is out there. But spinning your tires isn't going to find him.

MaidenNZ

Get outta dodge...you know you can't make someone change. You can only present your observations and offer a plan of change. If he chooses not to accept that plan, that's his right. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM! You obviously have a caring heart but in this situation you need to let logic and academic knowledge rule your decision making. Good luck

Dee74

Welcome

some really good advice here logicaldog.
Look after yourself

D

Wastinglife

Wow, this guy is good! Admittedly, I went through a period where my days sounded pretty much like his. Drink, surf internet for hours, sleep past noon. Only, my girlfriend at the time, did the opposite. She kicked me out of the house, told me to get help, and I was sent 3000 miles away back to my elderly parents haha.

I was in a dark place then. After a gradual progression, I had become a full-blown alcoholic. Drunk, miserable, and really just crying out for help.

Sounds like your bf may going throug a tough time as far as an internal struggle. I encourage you to distance yourself and plan to move on. However, I am certain that there is a decent man there who just needs help.

teatreeoil007

Sounds like an unhealthy situation. You're not his wife and not his girlfriend. May I gently ask what is keeping you there? Listen to your family, friends, etc. They love you with a true, concerned love that is looking out for your best interests...

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum LogicalDog!!