I want to be sober so bad!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Portland, or
Posts: 6
I want to be sober so bad!
I am new to this site, i am a vet and a father and husband, i have more to live for than liquor, I only know that when im sober though, sadly wich is almost never. I have been battling alcoholism since I was 16, I'm 27 now and am currently 15 hours sober, mild hangover, not withdrawing yet, so that's good. I am on the verge of losing my beautiful girls( wife and daughter) I went to an AA meeting this morning, I had a good time, I went to a treatment center in house for 55 days and was sober for 57, yes, i relapesed 2 days later. It has been 6 months since then and I've done like 5 days in a row sober since. I need help and can't do it on my own!!! I'm desperate!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum Greg!! 
What changes have you made to your lifestyle other than trying to not drink? For me changing up my routines, my lifestyle, what activities I got involved in, what people I hung out with, that was key to making Sobriety happen, clinging onto abstinence through sheer willpower never seemed to get me far on it's own.
Don't let alcohol take away all the good things in your life, as it will try it's hardest, your family, your job, your happiness!!
You can do this, and you'll find loads of support here on SR!!
What changes have you made to your lifestyle other than trying to not drink? For me changing up my routines, my lifestyle, what activities I got involved in, what people I hung out with, that was key to making Sobriety happen, clinging onto abstinence through sheer willpower never seemed to get me far on it's own.
Don't let alcohol take away all the good things in your life, as it will try it's hardest, your family, your job, your happiness!!
You can do this, and you'll find loads of support here on SR!!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking, having a good time is optional. Get a sponsor, work the steps and create fertile ground for change in your young life.
Glad you're here - thanks for the post
Keep coming back
Glad you're here - thanks for the post
Keep coming back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Portland, or
Posts: 6
Thanks , I have before made huge changes, my wife does not help me because she is always yelling at me about my drinking, even when I have been done a day or two, she does not understand how hard it is, she just yells at me and makes me feel worthless, when in reality, for me going 48 hours with ought is a huge success, but her attitude leads me to where I am, or its just my excuse. Not to sure, I'm going to die if I don't stop soon. I need all the help I can get because I don't get help at home.😢
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Hey Greg
Have you been to a DR to discuss your plan on getting sober? What do you mean you are going to die soon if you dont stop. Did you go to the DR and get some kind of bad results back bc of drinking?
You are at a young age where if you stop now and for good, you can probably reverse much if not all of the harm that you have done to your body and mind by drinking in excess. But for good means for good. You can stop for years, have your body return to whatever normal might be, then if you relapse all that hard work goes right out the window and you could be back to square one.
Research AVRT and see if that might be for you. I tried a few different things and relapsed after all of them except for AVRT. I, like you, am young and find that much of our young culture revolves around drinking. My friends still drink heavily at times, but I dont mind as long as we are doing something and not just sitting around getting hammered.
It helps to keep busy, find a hobby, read, keep your hands, body and mind busy. Learn something you always wanted to learn. Being sober is quite the challenge but it is so worth it IMO. I cant remember what day I am on being sober, and that doesnt matter to me. Before I would count days, get to a milestone and then have feelings of drinking to reward myself. Drinking isnt a reward.
Good luck to you.
Have you been to a DR to discuss your plan on getting sober? What do you mean you are going to die soon if you dont stop. Did you go to the DR and get some kind of bad results back bc of drinking?
You are at a young age where if you stop now and for good, you can probably reverse much if not all of the harm that you have done to your body and mind by drinking in excess. But for good means for good. You can stop for years, have your body return to whatever normal might be, then if you relapse all that hard work goes right out the window and you could be back to square one.
Research AVRT and see if that might be for you. I tried a few different things and relapsed after all of them except for AVRT. I, like you, am young and find that much of our young culture revolves around drinking. My friends still drink heavily at times, but I dont mind as long as we are doing something and not just sitting around getting hammered.
It helps to keep busy, find a hobby, read, keep your hands, body and mind busy. Learn something you always wanted to learn. Being sober is quite the challenge but it is so worth it IMO. I cant remember what day I am on being sober, and that doesnt matter to me. Before I would count days, get to a milestone and then have feelings of drinking to reward myself. Drinking isnt a reward.
Good luck to you.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
You have to do this for yourself. Your wife yelling at you is just an excuse. Also, keep in mind you need to regain your wife's trust. Stopping for 48 hours isn't going to do that. Each time she sees you relapse in 48 hours doesn't do anything to regain trust. Infact it shows her that she can't trust you. If you're going to regain her trust you're going to have to quit forever. And show that commitment for months, if not years. So you have a big decision to make. There's lots of help here but you're going to have to come up with a plan to quit drinking and do the work. I lost a wife over this and I was 9 months sober at the time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Portland, or
Posts: 6
Yes bad blood results liver is swollen, major vitamin deficiencies and this was when I was in treatment 6 months ago, the Dr told me I would die a slow death if I did not stop. I am ready to stop now. I was not ready before, I was forced into treatment center by my wife. I am ready now for not only my girls , but finally for myself. A fifth or mor a day has got to be bad on the body, only now I am really starting to feel it. That is why I am here.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 242
Their is family help groups you could ask your wife to go too or look into. Those without a problem don't understand sometimes. It might help her to understand what you going through. I use to get upset at with my husband, then I started drinking... Now I'm here. Learning how to stay sober.
It is a personal journey. You can do it. Make a plan and lots of support.
Welcome to SR. Read around lots of great advice and encouragement!
Congratulations on 15 hours!
It is a personal journey. You can do it. Make a plan and lots of support.
Welcome to SR. Read around lots of great advice and encouragement!
Congratulations on 15 hours!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Hi Greg, you come tonthe right spot.. You can do this and you certainly have several good reasons why you should give up the booze..
You seem to really want to do it so now its a matter of doing it, give it up.. I did 15 days ago and the first week was not easy but where I am now it so was worth it. My partner was fed up with me as well and he was of course one of the reasons I gave up, but the real reason was that I had enough and wanted to do it for my health and well being. I was frank with my partner told him how i sneaked wine in my morning coffee cup etc.. All I asked for was for support during this time. I have got the support, we are etting along much much better, we do things together now and I try to stay sober and learn to live a new life. Its possible and achievable if you really want to and have decided to go sober. It actually is not bad once the haze lifts.. Good luck!!!
You seem to really want to do it so now its a matter of doing it, give it up.. I did 15 days ago and the first week was not easy but where I am now it so was worth it. My partner was fed up with me as well and he was of course one of the reasons I gave up, but the real reason was that I had enough and wanted to do it for my health and well being. I was frank with my partner told him how i sneaked wine in my morning coffee cup etc.. All I asked for was for support during this time. I have got the support, we are etting along much much better, we do things together now and I try to stay sober and learn to live a new life. Its possible and achievable if you really want to and have decided to go sober. It actually is not bad once the haze lifts.. Good luck!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Greg, Welcome and I'm glad you found us.
Don't waste energy being frustrated with your wife for not understanding what you're going through. Most of us learn that it's really hard for others to know how hard this is. Instead, focus on yourself and your recovery. If you want to stop drinking, you can and you will. Make a plan to help you through each day. You may need to change people in your life, as well as places and activities. Also, you will need to add things to your life that support your recovery, such as a good exercise program.
Have faith in yourself that you can do this.
Don't waste energy being frustrated with your wife for not understanding what you're going through. Most of us learn that it's really hard for others to know how hard this is. Instead, focus on yourself and your recovery. If you want to stop drinking, you can and you will. Make a plan to help you through each day. You may need to change people in your life, as well as places and activities. Also, you will need to add things to your life that support your recovery, such as a good exercise program.
Have faith in yourself that you can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Portland, or
Posts: 6
Its really not even people I hang out with, I drink by myself and hide it all the time, when I am sober I fing empty bottles around the house that I totally forgot about drinking, I feel I'm far gone, I need a miracle! I fell I can do it to, I'm just scared to withdrawal again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I drank alone too, stick around and read as much as you can, offer encouragement to others, get yourself as educated as you can about alcoholism, that's what has helped me the most " knowledge is power" as they say.
You can totally do it, anyone can as long as they try
Xo
Nice to meet you
You can totally do it, anyone can as long as they try
Xo
Nice to meet you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Portland, or
Posts: 6
[QUOTE="Jsbodhi;5606686"]I drank alone too, stick around and read as much as you can, offer encouragement to others, get yourself as educated as you can about alcoholism, that's what has helped me the most " knowledge is power" as they say.
You can totally do it, anyone can as long as they try
Xo
Nice to meet you[/QUOTE
Thank you for your help
You can totally do it, anyone can as long as they try
Xo
Nice to meet you[/QUOTE
Thank you for your help
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hi and welcome Greg
I was in your position once - I had no idea how to go more than a few days without booze.
This place really helped - I won ;t lie to you the way will be rough, but support will see you through.
Not everyone in your life may understand addiction and don;t worry, that's ok - this is your job, not theirs - you're the only one who needs to understand.
The community here will understand too. I'm glad you found us
D
I was in your position once - I had no idea how to go more than a few days without booze.
This place really helped - I won ;t lie to you the way will be rough, but support will see you through.
Not everyone in your life may understand addiction and don;t worry, that's ok - this is your job, not theirs - you're the only one who needs to understand.
The community here will understand too. I'm glad you found us
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Greg, I'm so glad you joined us. I drank all my life & never imagined a way out. I was completely dependent on it, even though it made my life hell. Being here helped so much. No one judges, everyone gets it. Please keep posting and reading here. You can get free of it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Ga
Posts: 251
Yep. Hiding bottles, mad wives, land of confusion and chaos is the life of someone drinking like we do/ did.
Someone posted there are 150,000 folks on this website. Some looking for answers and support, many are success stories. There are thousands of people that were in your same spot and worse who have recovered and having great lives. Fight the fight and win the new life.
Someone posted there are 150,000 folks on this website. Some looking for answers and support, many are success stories. There are thousands of people that were in your same spot and worse who have recovered and having great lives. Fight the fight and win the new life.
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